Everything really is different now

[gowalking 10,790]

Just had an interesting interaction at work. An admin stopped into my office asking for a pen to borrow to sign off on a lunch order for a meeting. I like to kid around so I said, 'sure...but it will cost you a cookie.'

As a fat woman, I would have never said that. It would have been embarrassing because I would have expected her to think that the last thing I needed was a cookie. But as a normal sized person, there is no embarrassment when it comes to 'bad' food. I don't think twice if I have ice cream in my shopping cart...or some other item that once upon a time would make me look around and wonder who was checking out what I was eating.

And by the way....she brought me two Cookies. I told her that I was only joking and all she did was wink at me.

I know people say all the time that they have not changed...only their bodies have changed. I know that everything has changed for me. Yes...I'm still basically the same woman I always was, but a better, more outgoing, comfortable in my skin woman now. Not that I don't have my issues still...nothing is perfect. But even little interactions are different..and big ones as well.

I look people in the eye now. I used to look down. I have a sense of confidence I didn't have before. I'm understanding that it was the confidence and satisfaction in my life that attracted my boyfriend to me...and not just that I was a small body. Especially as he's seen all the loose skin, hanging boobs, etc. and he tells me how much he loves to see my naked body..how it turns him on. He's seeing something else in his mind's eye...and not my physical 'flaws'.

I just think we don't always see or realize all the changes. We notice the big things...the typical NSVs but not necessarily the daily interactions that shift as we change...or should I say 'evolve'.

Anyway...just wanted to get my thoughts out on a post. Back to work now...

[Mountaingal 322]

Great post. Thanks for sharing. You sound like the "miracle" we all hope for. You must be overjoyed. Now go out and live the life you didn't have before!

[Pillar2butterfly 391]

Had to reply to this....since I couldn't hit the like button more than once! Love this post

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Yup. As a fat woman, I really fooled the public when I got an extra small cup of fro-yo or a baby cone of ice cream. I am sure NO ONE noticed how fat I was because of my obvious restraint and dainty portions. HA!!

Now if I were to get a teeny portion, people would URGE me to eat more because I "need to" or "can afford" it.

Oh, how things have changed.

[katladee 156]

Good words GoWalking! I am looking forward to the little things like that after my weight loss. Like when I buy doughnuts for work and wonder if the cashier is wondering if I'm eating all those myself! LOL

[gowalking 10,790]

Good words GoWalking! I am looking forward to the little things like that after my weight loss. Like when I buy doughnuts for work and wonder if the cashier is wondering if I'm eating all those myself! LOL

Yup...that's exactly what I mean.

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

All amazing points made, @@gowalking

The more insidious things have to be pointed out to you, and yes, this site focusing way more on sudden NSVs than gradual ones. For example, HR told me today that I needed new pants and that I was starting to look like a bum because they are too big and so is my belt. I was mortified, and wondered if I should even have categorized it as an NSV. However, the incident got me thinking about how people now actually stop and chat at my desk (not just about weight loss) now and ask to go grab lunch and ask me to be in pictures at work functions.

My relationship with food isn't different, in full disclosure. I can just feed it less. But while some things in our non-food lives still have to be address on their own, this aspect is truly different. Thank you for pointing it out.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I have changed alot. I still have the basic core values and personality but my daily I interactions and daily life is very different.

[mrs kaje 347]

Like when I buy doughnuts for work and wonder if the cashier is wondering if I'm eating all those myself! LOL

I ask for a receipt for petty cash.

Then go home and eat them all myself.

[gowalking 10,790]

Like when I buy doughnuts for work and wonder if the cashier is wondering if I'm eating all those myself! LOL

I ask for a receipt for petty cash.

Then go home and eat them all myself.

Yeah...been there, done that, got the tee shirt.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Such a good topic.

[bikrchk 1,313]

Yes, THIS! All of it... So true!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@gowalking, thank you for one of the most fun, exciting and moving messages ever in the world of surgery. You've created a new NSV: Speaking unself-consciously in an unremarkable moment that once would have stiffened the spine, ready to run for cover. "So this is what it's like to feel relaxed."

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Like when I buy doughnuts for work and wonder if the cashier is wondering if I'm eating all those myself! LOL

I ask for a receipt for petty cash.

Then go home and eat them all myself.

Yeah...been there, done that, got the tee shirt.

A 2XL tee shirt!

[katladee 156]

LOL, LipstickLady!!!!