Time off work - selfish?

[Leesa926 72]

I should know this week when will have surgery but should be mid Dec. I am a little concerned as I just got back from a 10 day vacation from work. I give my all to my job and to be honest my job doesn't really care much about their employees but I do have a concern that I will be taking off.

I don't want to tell them the reason for fear they will feel it is elective and I could wait (technically i could but job stability is an issue) I guess I just needed to vent and see what others have to say about feeling bad for your job.

I know it sounds silly, most people i know think I am crazy but I feel overwhelmed at leaving my area in the state it is in (I am a district manager) but I also feel I have almost 100 hours that can be used towards FMLA and I should take time that I need.

My plan is to base it off of what the doctor suggests and then I could always try to go back part time or work from home.

Does anyone else have this stress going on when it comes to time off work? Am I being selfish as I just had vacation. (Vacation was booked earlier this yeay way before my WLS path)

[lorri716 256]

Let me be the first to say....it's time to be selfish! This about you and your life changing experience. You do not need to tell work why you are getting surgery, atleast specifically what kind. That's why there is hipa. Good luck with your surgery.

[Sophie74656 1,572]

I told my boss that I was having a surgery but not what kind of surgery

Maybe you could tell them you're taking a medical leave but not be specific about exactly what

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

@@Leesa926 - self care is not being selfish. Most job will replace you without skipping a beat. Do not live and die for your job.

[glitter eyes 1,398]

Don't feel guilty. This is your time to heal and learn how to adapt to your new lifestyle.

I took off four weeks form my job and then after only being back for two weeks I went on a week and half vacation. It was wonderful having all that time off to focus on myself.

Good luck to you.

[Leesa926 72]

Thanks everyone. My last appt is tomorrow and by tomorrow or Wed insurance will be submitted.. I think I am just getting myself nervous about everything!

It is really moving fast now!

[L.Harmony 64]

I felt a little guilty, it wasn't easy on my last day or week. But I felt guilty because, about three weeks before my sugery, I find out I needed foot surgery on both feet. So I had foot surgery on my left foot, then about two months later I had my surgery. I didn't want anyone finding out what kind of surgery I had, so they all think I'm still out for my foot surgery, which I am. So I'm recovering from both.

I shared all of this because I agree it's time for you to do something that is just for you. The projects at work will always be there maybe not the same ones but the work doesn't stop. Take care of yourself.

[2goldengirl 2,076]

You need to take care of you, and most importantly, don't let guilt make you go back too soon.

What would you tell someone who works for you?

Nobody, I mean nobody, needs to know why you have to take medical leave. That's between you and the HR department. Do what you need to to take care of you.

[mrs kaje 347]

You could be entitled to ten years leave and feel zero guilt about taking time off, but the reality is there are just some jobs where extended time off is not an option, or extremely difficult, so I understand where you're coming from.

I work from home in a desk job and I'll be trying to get back to it 6 days after surgery. It's just the company director and me, so there's nobody to step into my role if I have time off; I run the office alone.

Edited November 17, 2015 by mrs kaje

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

If you drop dead at work tomorrow, they might send flowers to your funeral, but I guarantee they won't wait very long before filling your position. You have to take care of yourself.

[_Kate_ 2,224]

I went back for too early because I felt guilty that others were managing my caseload. I really wish I hadn't though and if I had my time again I'd have longer off. Be kind to yourself, the work will always be there but you will never get the recovery time you should afford yourself!

[The Candidate 3,215]

I took a full six weeks off and have no regrets. I told my office I was having surgery, but not the type. You have a right to recover properly from major surgery. I would not feel any guilt in that regard. Good luck!

[gpmed 623]

Make sure you fill out FMLA paperwork to protect your job. The law basically says they can't replace you during the time you're out.

I understand some workplaces are like this and it's tough. But it's reasonable to expect a work/life balance. That means you get time to make yourself healthier and prevent an early death. Some places will suck you dry if you let them, but you can't give every bit of yourself to your job. You're worth it and you deserve this!

[lisacaron 5,075]

You know when I had my surgery I came back to work way too fast and I wish I had stayed home longer. I am scheduled for Carpal Tunnel release surgery next week on my right hand. I have let my job know I am going for surgery filled out the FMLA paper work etc just like I did last time and I plan to take FULL advantage of taking time off.

I know I am going to get calls and e-mails while I am at home since I am a project manager, but I really plan to take the time to recover and enjoy spending that time at home being able to actually rest and recover. I always run back worrying about my job and my "status" on the job and you know it's just not worth my health. It has taken me a good long while to be able to say that.

I know it's sad to look forward to surgery but I am! I feel for you and worrying about the job and stability and all that but as another poster said. File for FMLA they can't fire you or replace you while your out. Bosses don't need to know why you are having surgery, the Dr.'s that answer the forms will send them directly to your HR and they are not allowed to disclose your personal medical information. To that end the Dr. could simply say abdominal surgery and not be specific most offices are equipped with the verbage to satisfy the law and the company without disclosing the patients private medical conditions.

Wishing you the best!

[newmebithebypass 713]

I'm so blessed to be working in a small practice where my work can do with out me for a while. I know I'm going to want to go back as soon as I can because of cabin fever but I can't stress my self out about working while recovering