Just a little venting

[Chrystee 838]

So why do you call this person your friend? No friend of mine would ever do something like that to me.

She's really my husband's friend not my friend....none of our other friends like her

Sounds like there might be a deeper issue here.. Why is she still your husband's friend, and why'd he ignore your request? I'd be mad.

[Sophie74656 1,572]

So why do you call this person your friend? No friend of mine would ever do something like that to me.

She's really my husband's friend not my friend....none of our other friends like her

Sounds like there might be a deeper issue here.. Why is she still your husband's friend, and why'd he ignore your request? I'd be mad.

honestly I don't know, none of our other friends like her. She often gets him mad and he goes through periods where he doesn't want to be friends with her. but then they're friends again. I don't get it

[songsmith 334]

Everyone's said what I would say. Next time, pipe up. Correct the "friend" and tell the waitress your party needs a table because booth seating isn't comfortable. If your husband and this woman want to object over that, then they will be proving their true colors up front instead of this passive aggressive BS. I think many people (including me) feel self-conscious because of our weight and so don't want to draw attention to ourselves. I'd be beyond hurt and angry if my husband chose a friend's likes over my own comfort and enjoyment.

[Chrystee 838]

honestly I don't know, none of our other friends like her. She often gets him mad and he goes through periods where he doesn't want to be friends with her. but then they're friends again. I don't get it

So why do you call this person your friend? No friend of mine would ever do something like that to me.

She's really my husband's friend not my friend....none of our other friends like her

Sounds like there might be a deeper issue here.. Why is she still your husband's friend, and why'd he ignore your request? I'd be mad.

Do they have something going on, possibly?

[Steve Puckett 33]

SIT in the booth, let it serve as a reminder and intensive as to why you had the sugery !!!

[mark1733 224]

So last night my husband and I were meeting a friend at a restaurant for dinner. As we were pulling up I said to my husband remember I prefer a table not a booth (I feel too tight in a booth still) and he says, well [friend's name] prefers booths. We go in and meet her and I politely said to her do you mind if we get a table not a booth, then she goes up to the hostess and says can we please have a booth for three. GRRRRR

I know it's minor but it really pissed me off

This is one of the things that pushed me a little to keep on losing. Like Babbs said, use it as motivation. I purposely request booths now ha

[RyansGirl89 67]

I'm not going to speculate about that woman's intentions or why your husband didn't back you up because I have just a small window into yall's lives. However, I will say that as you get thinner and more confident, I bet the tables or booths will turn and she is going to get more insecure and leave feeling the way you did. There will be a price to be paid for any mistreatment I imagine and I think they'll both pay it on one way or another. I'm just speculating and I may be wrong.

[RyansGirl89 67]

I had a bunch of mistakes in my last post but my app won't let me edit.. Ugh

[Sharon1964 2,530]

Do they have something going on, possibly?

My thought exactly.

Wife wants table. Husband protests that "friend" likes booth.

Wife mentions table to "friend", is promptly ignored and husband does nothing to back her up.

"Friend" flirts with husband (yes, that's what I'm calling it).

Husband gets mad at "friend" occasionally but then she's back.

Tell husband he can go pound sand if this "friend" is more important to him than you are. That's how he's acting. If he says she isn't more important, then tell him to f-ing prove it.

[sarahbethemails 68]

I would have just went around her and said sorry she was mistaken she meant table for three and just smiled.

Edited November 18, 2015 by sarahbethemails

[BayougirlMrsS 3,934]

@@Sophie74656 Ok... so my 2 cents for what it's worth.... which is 2 cents.... Bahahahaha..... If im getting this right, your husband and this "girl" were friends before and you came along and yall got married. YALL (you and he) got married. NOT the three of you. Your husband need to choose which female he is going to be loyal too.... you or her. Looks to me like he is choosing her over you already. My husband pulled a stunt on me like that ONCE... and when we got home i handed him his balls on a plate and said if you ever disrespect me like that again i will leave you right there.

Did they have a sexual relationship before? If not, i bet she wants one... I would tell your husband to have a conversation with her about her behavior... and if he doesn't.... then you should. Lay it all out on the table...

Just an FYI: the girl that my husband did this with was an ex GF.... and six months after i caught them texting and he refused to show me what she sent him.... My gut says... they were either hooking up or fixing too.

Just keep your eyes open and watch for the red flags.....

[Sophie74656 1,572]

@@Sophie74656 Ok... so my 2 cents for what it's worth.... which is 2 cents.... Bahahahaha..... If im getting this right, your husband and this "girl" were friends before and you came along and yall got married. YALL (you and he) got married. NOT the three of you. Your husband need to choose which female he is going to be loyal too.... you or her. Looks to me like he is choosing her over you already. My husband pulled a stunt on me like that ONCE... and when we got home i handed him his balls on a plate and said if you ever disrespect me like that again i will leave you right there.

Did they have a sexual relationship before? If not, i bet she wants one... I would tell your husband to have a conversation with her about her behavior... and if he doesn't.... then you should. Lay it all out on the table...

Just an FYI: the girl that my husband did this with was an ex GF.... and six months after i caught them texting and he refused to show me what she sent him.... My gut says... they were either hooking up or fixing too.

Just keep your eyes open and watch for the red flags.....

they actually met after him and I met. We had been dating for about a year when they met doing community theater.

[Geron Girls 70]

OH Heck no. Nope. No way, no how would my husband treat me like that. I would have taken myself on to another restaurant and left him there with no car. And I'd be having a serious conversation about their relationship. I'm sorry.

[songsmith 334]

In fairness, we don't know everything in the background. Hubby could be one of those "hates to upset anyone" types, so he caves to the friend because he "knows" his wife must feel the same. My husband happens to be that way. I find I need to speak up and be emphatic about my wants sometimes. He means well, but he's him. Back in the early days of our marriage (before dirt) there were women who came onto him. He used all the right body language to signal N-O but was too "nice" to just come out with it. In hindsight, I think he liked that I was the one to put those women in their place!

Anyway, I do think the friend possibly has feelings for hubby (she's certainly possessive) but not that it's necessarily reciprocal. That's why I think next time the friend pulls this bout of passive-aggressiveness, Sophie, you should speak up and instruct the hostess that, no, you prefer a table.

(Does the friend sit next to you, Sophie, or your husband? If the latter, I am positive that's why she wants a booth but not positive that's why your husband didn't stand up to her. Did you explain to him later how much this hurt and angered you?)

[della street 213]

Oh no, no, no, no, no -- hubby does NOT get a pass on this one -- First, and this is certainly in no way meant to make you feel bad, but I have to agree with a bunch of comments that there might be something 'fishy' going on between them - or at the very least, she's flirting with him with the whole straw thing - really? What is this, tenth grade??? And hubby, worrying more about her comfort than yours? No, no, no - time for a major sit-down, come-to-jeezus meeting with him. Next time, if there is a next time, call ahead yourself and reserve a table -- this really busts me up for you because it is so disrespectful on your husband's part, just MHO -- again, not saying to make you feel worse than you already do, but just to let you know you're not crazy - it definitely was disrespectful to you -- major hugs your way!