Trial by Social media

[citygirl1962 50]

The only groups that no one can see that you are in are secret grouos....that's what makes them secret.

[citygirl1962 50]

A friend of mine joined some closed bariatric surgery groups which is how I found out she was interested in or had surgery.

[Dar200 285]

I understand that I cannot find secret groups, I am hoping to be invited when I meet anyone who is a member.

try asking your surgeon's office, your nutritionist, the hospital or clinic where you will be having surgery.

[L.Harmony 64]

I have only told a few people, and I haven't posted anything on Facebook. I do not want people judging my progress. I can be my hardest critic I do not need anymore. Before surgery several coworkers and myself started seeing a doctor which had a program focused on really low carb, high Protein. I saw it as a way to prepare for my life after surgery. Well one coworker was able to loss a huge amount of weight doing it. I was able to lose around 25 to 35 pounds I was happy with my results. The coworker I worked with stopped eating a chicken breast for Breakfast and going to the gym twice a day. She gained some of the weight back. She received a bunch of negative comments from our coworkers because of the weight. While I was on the program I was asked almost daily about how much weight I had loss. Always wanting to know how many pounds. Not saying this would happen to everyone or anyone. The environment I work for is extremely different thank most people's. But the main reason is I do not want someone to judge my progress. My feelings on this may change.

I really do want to find a secret group on Facebook, any suggestions.

[RaDiva.RNY 9]

This is what I've been battling, should I speak about it on FB or not. As of now I've decided not too. The people that I've told i had surgery outside of my immediate circle have all been judgmental. So sick of the you didn't need that and you could've loss it on your own. Not to mention most are people who are battling weight issues as well. I sense a little "hate".

[L.Harmony 64]

RaDiva.RNY, I know exactly how you feel. I hope it gets easier. I wish more people were understanding of it.

[Rdy4ANewLife 3]

The only people that know about my soon to be RNY is my husband, mom and brothers. I will not be telling ANYONE and neither will they. I had the lap band before and I told the world. Never again will I put myself in that position. It is wise to just keep it to yourself and MAYBE a few who you can trust. Trust me on this one!

Edited November 19, 2015 by Rdy4ANewLife

[sharkgirl 251]

Like others, I haven't publicly said anything on FB because I don't want to hear people's opinions on "taking the easy way out". There is nothing easy about it. If someone mentioned losing weight, I just state the I am on a strict food plan and workout a lot; both of which are completely true. I don't owe anyone anything more.

[RNYDawn 160]

I probably will not post about it on Facebook. Ever. I started a WLS-only instagram to connect with people that way. There are a few IRL friends on there who have either lost a lot of weight or are also going to have WLS. I told my parents, brother, sister, husband, and friends I have known online (due to weight loss blogs) for years. None of my friends who I see regularly know.

[mark1733 224]

I posted it on my Facebook and basically said after serious consideration and speaking with several people in the medical field, I've decided to have a gastric bypass. I really think it made things easier because I didn't have to explain why I was dropping so much weight. No one said anything negative and to be honest, I wouldn't care if they did. It's my decision and not theirs. Maybe guys look at it different, I don't know.

[anchorup 15]

I thought about doing an IG. I did do an IG for my weight journey just to keep the posts from being excessive. Somehow, though, people from my other account found it, including my oldest kid. So I let the account die. I don't know what I did wrong. I've seen others successfully have two separate accounts from their mobile devices.

So far, as far as the masses go, they know I'm trying everything under the moon. They know I recently started crossfit. I'm going to let them assume it's from that. Lol. I have this one friend from high school. She was always overweight. A couple of years ago, she started weight watchers. 3 yrs later, she's down, like, 150lbs or so. She looks great. Thing is it's made her judgey. She thinks everyone should do it the way she did and that it was so easy once you set your mind to it. No matter how I try to say it, she doesn't seem to get that it's not exactly the same circumstances for everyone. She had no comorbities, was a stay at home parent, and only 1 child who was in school. She had the time to devote to recipe and food planning etc. It still took her over 2yrs to lose the 100lbs. She acts like WW is the only right way to lose the weight and that anyone failing just isn't trying hard enough or just isn't ready. she will definitely not be someone I tell. Lol. She's a nice girl but has definitely forgot the struggle on the other side of the fence

[anchorup 15]

I've seen that attitude with some WLSers. They seem to have forgotten the struggle. That's why I don't comment much in the Facebook groups.

[Ryan TN 348]

I belong to a Secret fb group for sleevers in the month of October. Its been great, most of us joined before surgery and we all went thru the process in Oct. I highly suggest it for anyone upcoming surgery if you are bug on fb.

[Niki15 198]

I have not said anything on FB as of yet only some of my close family members know ..I want to suprise the rest of my family when I go to Michigan next year ..The people that know have been very supportive so far..

[Maggie Journey 126]

I've thought this through because it's a concern of mine, too. I want and need a support community and resources (bariatric recipes, etc) as I go through this journey. My regular FB is full of co-workers and others who do NOT need to know my personal medical plans and medical history....Definitely none of their business. I'm sure that several people I know would be judgy, critical and gossipy, including family members. I want to "like" all the Bariatric FB pages (including BariatricPal), but your FB friends can see the pages you "like". It would be very easy for regular FB friends to figure it out, even just by what pages you like.

My solution was to create a new alternate FB profile. It's very simple to do. I created a new personal email address to open the new FB account with, and that email address is specific to my bariatric journey, too. Now, I can "like" everything I want to on FB without any of my regular FB friends seeing what I'm liking. I've liked/joined a couple dozen awesome pages already. I will join groups with the new FB account, secret or not secret groups. I will make FB friends with the new profile who are genuinely supportive, especially new friends going through the same thing. It's making me feel really free to be doing my thing, and have a "safe" community via FB.

I'm still pre-op. After I have the surgery and lose noticeable weight, people will be asking me how...especially certain snippy & gossipy people at work. I won't tell them about the surgery, but I will tell them about counting calories, tracking everything I eat and drink, drinking tons more Water, eliminating the "white stuff", working out a lot more, etc. It will all be true.

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100010667087919