Too soon?

[Thx4dinner 10]

I have the opportunity to go down to TJ and get sleeved as soon as the end of December. My SO has been super supportive through this whole process which I am so grateful for but when I told him it could be done that soon, he said it was too soon. I didn't think there was such a thing. What are your opinions? Is it too soon or would you have gone sooner given the opportunity and what did your time frame look like? I'm in AZ so it's a quick drive down.

[VDLT 244]

Too soon in what way? Are you mentally ready for it? Have you done your research and know what you are getting into? Have you planned for any help you might need upon your return? Do you have the ability to take the time off from work during the holidays?

I know I was ready a couple of weeks before I had surgery but I had talked to my surgeon months prior and was not ready then from a mental standpoint and had some scheduling to do with my family. Whether it is too soon will depend on you.

[Thx4dinner 10]

I'd definitely say I'm mentally ready for it. I've been doing an absolute TON of research.

Luckily for me, planning is not an issue as it's just me and my SO and as far as work goes, I've got the medical leave time I need so that won't be an issue either.

I tried to ask him what about it was too soon but he couldn't give a straight answer. I understand him being nervous and a bit scared because I feel that way too! I haven't once thought it was too soon to have the procedure until he said something. I have a time set to talk with the surgeon today so hopefully it all goes well!

[dlappjr 467]

Sounds like maybe he isn't mentally ready yet. I would normally say that as long as you are ready, its your choice, but I know that our SO's are in this too and they are important also. If I may suggest, ask him more specific questions, rather than a broad general "why is it too soon". Maybe like "Are you nervous that its too soon?" "Are you worried about the surgery itself?" "When do you think it is a good time?" And be sincere about it. It is new to him too and because it isn't directly affecting him, yet, he may feel it is being rushed, while you know what you are in for because of the reading and searching you have done to prepare. I think it ultimately has to be your decision on when, but his input may sway you to hold off a week or so. Hopefully he isn't thinking 6 mos. or something. Best of luck!

[The Candidate 3,215]

I think that's a question only you can answer. And once you have the answer in hand, have a deep one on one chat with your SO as to why he's right or wrong. Good luck!

[Mega_100 146]

I waited and waited to get my surgery process started because things kept popping up to delay it. Once my husband said he was on board with me getting that started, I was bing-bang-boom, "surgery's in a month." He was a little taken aback and only later I found out that he was scared about me going into surgery and potentially not coming out the other end. It's important to calm those nerves and give him the same confidence you have. I did this by giving stats and reviews for my surgeon and why he was (and is) the best.

On the other side, I can say that as much as I thought I wanted the surgery as fast as humanly possible, I was not mentally prepared for the surgery in a month's time. All my duck's fell into place fast and I was so caught up in getting my pre-op tests and requirements done and then getting financing in order, that I didn't take time to prepare myself. I wish I would have worked out my relationship with food before surgery and really analyzed how I got to where I was. It might have better prepared me for the first couple weeks post-op and gotten me in the mind set to hit the ground running (not literally) right out the gate. Good luck to you in whatever you decide!

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

I second the above posts...this is about whether you are ready and have thought it through...to be certain, that is a pretty quick turnaround. However, if you have been wanting this for months or even years, you can't let anything get in your head that isn't a legitimate hesitation of your own. I tend to think it is always "too soon" for SOs, and, supportive or not, they will never be quite ready. He can help you, and you can, in turn, help him through it.