Feeling strange

[dsheive 100]

I had surgery 7/22. Have lost 68 pounds, size 24/3x to. 16 L or XL

Sounds great right.. Everyday at work people are telling me how great I look guys are telling me I'm pretty people look at me differently. I'm kinda of sad wondering what they thought of me at almost 300 pounds. I don't know why but I'm feeling uncomfortable with the attention I'm getting. The old me wasn't good enough for them ? I don't know am I silly? Then I worry I will let them all down and gain weight back and it'll be "see knew she couldn't do it . It's only been a few months so I know I have a lot of adjustments to make. Any advice

[Onelife 128]

I don't think people mean anything negative about you before. I think they are trying to encourage you. It is hard for people to know what to say. If they didn't acknowledge your accomplishment, how would you feel then? That is when I would feel bad. Cheer up. Shut out the bad thoughts. Rejoice everyday. You are doing great.

[wasmorton 3]

Oh honey, it was never about them in the first place. You have done an amazing thing but don't let it cloud your perception of who you were. We are made to feel inferior by society just because we weigh more than they deem " normal ". It's time to take back what should have been ours all along.....We Are and always have been good enough. Congrats on all your hard work. The eating changes you make now will carry you through the rest of your life as a much healthier person.

[dsheive 100]

Thanx ladies I was thinking about what you said today. Your right, if no one noticed I would be very upset(no pleasing me. Lol). I was reading another post about after you've reached goal people stop noticing and you tend to get "forgetful" about your care. I'll keep plugging and no that it is a complement to my hard work that people are noticing my weight loss. Thank you

[Onelife 128]

Good for you. You are doing great. I can't wait to be at a loss of 68 lbs. I am down 18 lbs and my surgery was 4 weeks ago today. One day I will get there.

[dsheive 100]

Great job!!

[cherri2082 149]

My mom told me " I'd always had a pretty face. Hmmmm wonder why I live 2000 miles apart!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

When I read threads like this I think there's still a lot of grieving going on for the tough times (physically, emotionally, etc.) we all endured at whatever our high weights were. To be perfectly honest, the "old me" certainly wasn't good enough for ME!

It truly sucked being that heavy. There was so much that was hard when I was obese. I still feel so bad for my old fat self. I'm so very glad *she* doesn't have to struggle with those issues anymore.

And *she* is incredibly glad, too.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

It is a process having to deal with all sorts of emotions and feelings that we 1) never felt before, 2) buried with our fat, and/or 3) have been avoiding.

That is why it can be helpful to see a counselor or therapist and/or attend support groups and/or recovery groups (like OA.org) to help us through this process.

You also might want to consider reading some self-help books. A couple of good ones: Eat It Up! (written by a therapist who works with WLS patients) and When food Is Love are a couple of good ones.

[2goldengirl 2,076]

Attention, especially from the opposite sex can be very unsettling if you aren't used to it. We get so used to feeling "invisible" before WLS - or worse, the object of the wrong kind of attention (judging, shaming, and all that). It takes work on the inside to unprogram a lot of those old messages and negative self-talk.

As far as "letting them all down", you aren't doing this for anybody else. You're doing this for you. Your health and well being. it truly doesn't matter at all what anybody else thinks. They don't define your success or lack of it - that's strictly up to you.

If you aren't getting counseling about these issues, I'd really, really recommend it. It's just like working out at the gym; the gym works the physical body, counseling is your personal trainer for the inside of your head.

Good luck!

[A New KK 104]

I don't know about you but before surgery I hated to look at myself in the mirror. I'd even stopped putting on makeup so I wouldn't have to look. So I think we are so ashamed of our bodies and don't want to be noticed pre op that once we start to lose weight it is really uncomfortable to accept encouragement/compliments. I still have those weird thoughts about what they thought before but really who cares! Just be glad you did it, say thank you and really take it in. You've done the hard work and it's paying off and people are noticing Congratulations!!!!!

[pattycarlson09@live.com 18]

Sleeved 5 days ago and ready to get going but incision pain is still pretty bad, do I need to push harder? Advice please????

[Hollyhock 62]

They probably mean to acknowledge your hard work and accomplishment and to encourage you. Significant weight loss is very difficult to do. So they are probably not saying they didn't like you previously. Just that they like and admire the effort you have put into reversing a chronic imbalance.