Talking myself out of surgery

[Tssiemer1 549]

After being in the process since August, and completed my last requirement yesterday I think I'm starting to talk myself out of getting surgery.

I don't really have any reason not to have the surgery.

I don't know how I feel anymore.

[Fat2Phat2016 541]

I think it is really easy to get discouraged during the process. I have also felt that way and so has my husband. This is a major decision so just take time to think about it. Set down and write a pros and cons sheet. In the end you have to do what is best for you. I have chosen to have the surgery because I have finally decided I want the next 35 years of my life to revolve around me feeling better, being healthy and enjoying life after spending the first 35 loving food. Just set back and think about why you even started this process in the first place.

Just know that we here on BP are here for you!!!

Good luck in whatever decision you make!!

[Brandy Wine 24]

My surgery is this Monday and I also have had thoughts of should I do this. Is this the right thing for me to be doing. Then I have to get back into my POSITIVE THOUGHTS and remember I want to feel better, look better and live longer. Of course I'm scared of a lot of things going wrong during surgery but it's a chance we all have to take. I feel my surgeon is well qualified or I wouldn't be going forward. We have to beat those negative thoughts going on in our heads. There are too many people who have has great results. There's no turning back now. Monday is almost here for me. Hope you figure things out for yourself. Hopefully I will see you on the losers bench ????

[tmcx28 297]

I've been doing the same thing. I've spent days reading the complication support forum and now I'm terrified. But at the same time I had a friend who had the surgery and she did amazingly well and that was the whole reason I went to a seminar. I know the good FAR outweighs the bad. I'm sure I'll go through with the surgery but that doesn't mean I'm not scared.

[cindi gant 101]

Being scared is normal. See if your doctor offers support groups in yout area. Most hospitals do. Gi listen to what others say. Yes, the horror stories are out there but the mortality rate is usually less than 1%. I weighed 350 pounds 22 months ago. Today I weigh 206. I decided I would rather die trying than die getting fatter. Today I am very active. I exercise 4 or 5 days a week. I no longer wear size 4X and the steering wheel no longer touches my stomach. I can comfortably fit in a movie theater seat. I am off all 3 diabetes meds and both BP meds. Life is great! Do your research and be as informed as possible.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Not everyone is hit by doubts once the door to the OR is opened, but many are. While we're going through the rigmarole of requirements -- diet, psych eval, RD consults and whatall else -- our minds are occupied with the details. Surgery is some nebulous thing in the distance. Once all the pre-nonsense is out of the way and the mental occupation is cleared, "Uh-oh, what am I doing What was I thinking?"

Some may feel discouraged, as @@Fat2Phat2016 mentions. I think that, in general, it's more about recognizing that the requirements no longer obscure the view of the OR. When people are ambivalent, I suggest a making a list of the reasons to lose weight. I skip the "cons," as I think they are few and obvious. (Pro and con lists work wonders in other areas.) Write out the things you want that surgery will enable in the most specific terms. Examples: Get on floor to play with kids; sit in a theater seat with room to spare; size 7 knickers; not be stared at by other diners in a restaurant; feel sexually desirable, feel more sexual, bed looks larger when I'm in it, no longer have signs of diabetes 2, to sweat less. Include the serious and the vain and whimsical. No reason is shallow or foolish. Add to the list as new "I wants" come to mind. Then, when the time comes, check them off as you achieve them.

The list isn't a sales pitch to one's self. Surgery must be a free choice, not the result of bombardment. The list is for taking stock of who we are, where we came from and where we want to go. It's a basis for choosing surgery. Or deciding against, if that's the case (I'm no proselytizer).

What do you want and will surgery be effective in helping you get there? I suppose it's that simple, simple, but not necessarily easy. You have to be willing to do the work. You have to want to do the work. If you've been doing the work, you likely have the drive to follow through.

I got there only because I tiptoed in backward, a most clumsy gait. When the possibility of surgery came to me, it was accompanied by "Huh? Do I want that? Could I want that...do that?" I was nowhere near ready to see it as something real, but I didn't want to drop the idea. I invented a trick on myself (which has worked a couple of times since when I was facing other, seemingly monumental things). The first step, the info seminar, was coming up: "Go hear what they have to say, just to see what the seminar is like, and then I'll never have to do anything else." Next, the consult with the surgeon: "Make the appointment to see what she has to say and then I'll never have to do anything else." I continued the pattern with each subsequent step. Because of my age, my medical plan (I think it was the plan rather than the surgery practice) required endoscopy and colonoscopy. I made appointments and that's when I knew I was serious. What sort of weirdo has a colonoscopy just to see what it's like?

On the day of surgery a nurse brought a wheelchair to take me from the prep area to the OR. I chose to walk. As I entered, the nurses and anesthesiologist, surgical masks in place, looked up and called out loud, friendly greetings. The surgeon walked in while tying her mask. i I felt as though I'd arrived at a surprise masquerade party being held in my honor. I'd never have guessed that a surgery could have a fun start.

Edited November 7, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[HopeandAgony 566]

My surgery is this Monday and I also have had thoughts of should I do this. Is this the right thing for me to be doing. Then I have to get back into my POSITIVE THOUGHTS and remember I want to feel better, look better and live longer. Of course I'm scared of a lot of things going wrong during surgery but it's a chance we all have to take. I feel my surgeon is well qualified or I wouldn't be going forward. We have to beat those negative thoughts going on in our heads. There are too many people who have has great results. There's no turning back now. Monday is almost here for me. Hope you figure things out for yourself. Hopefully I will see you on the losers bench ????

I wish you all the best. I am one week after you. Please keep in touch. We will do great!!!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

WLS truly is not for everyone.

And there's no required timetable on which everyone who does wind up doing it will have WLS.

The last thing anyone should do is to feel pressured into WLS by others, even strangers on an Internet forum.

Very best to you!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

the complication support forum and now I'm terrified. But at the same time I had a friend who had the surgery and she did amazingly well and that was the whole reason I went to a seminar. I know the good FAR outweighs the bad. I'm sure I'll go through with the surgery but that doesn't mean I'm not scared.

That's a forum for people who've had problems? No problem is good, but mine wasn't the worst and I found a way through it mentally and emotionally.

A 10cc lapband (I'm sure none of you is talking about banding) was placed on Monday afternoon. The rest of the day went well, sipping Water and Clear liquids and no more than the expected discomfort. In the morning I went to radiology for esophagram; my plan requires overnight stay, which was fortunate. I swallowed the barium; it came back up immediately.. After that I couldn't tolerate even the smallest sip of Water and I was in constant pain from the tightness of the band. My surgeon could only speculate that there'd been enough fat on a part of the liver not visible during surgery or swelling or both. My thought: "Get this damned thing out of me and let me go home." She ordered IV, as I needed to be hydrated, and recommended waiting a while to see if things changed spontaneously, i.e., swelling does down. I was on IV and made full use of the self-controlled synthetic morphine dispenser (don't recall the correct names for these things). It was probably Wednesday that I evolved from "Get it out" to "After all this, no way am I leaving here without a band." On Thursday, with no change, she reserved the OR to replace the band with a 14cc. Friday success and Saturday, after esophagram, return home. I love my surgeon and don't think she was negligent. Six years is enough distance that I rarely recall the incident.

[2goldengirl 2,076]

It's very, very common to have second thoughts - and that goes for any major life decision, doesn't it? Surgery means changing your life forever. It's a big step. Now that you've taken care of the little steps along the way, I think it's natural to be a bit overwhelmed by The Big Step.

Take some time to think about it. What are you feeling? Are you scared? What scares you? It might be anything from being scared of surgery itself (lots of people are) to being afraid people will treat you differently (some will) to having to change your relationship with food (you have lots of company here) to - and this is maybe the scariest of all - "I don't know how to be a thin person."

Only you can decide what is right for you. Spending some time thinking about why you're feeling what you're feeling will be time well spent, whatever you decide.

Good luck!

[Kindle 8,667]

This is hard enough to do even when you are 100% committed and have no doubts it's what you want to do and you know you will succeed. (That's how I went into it). So if you aren't ready then don't do it. If your head isn't right then you will be miserable.

Take more time to research all of your options if you have to and do what you feel is best for you. Yes, there are cons to WLS and the changes you have to make to be successful, and you need to be aware of all of them. But then again there are all the pros and for me, they outweighed the cons (pun intended )

[ttdish 315]

For me, when I was having doubts, I just had to ask myself.... "Where do I want to be a year from now?"

If I didn't do the surgery, I knew I'd be the same weight (or heavier), with the same health issues and miserable about the way I looked and felt. I'd still have trouble keeping up with my son.

If I did the surgery, I knew the possibilities were endless! I could be thinner (close to goal even!), healthier, and HAPPIER! I could be chasing my son around without being winded, and actually get in front of the camera for pictures with him!

I know I made the right choice for me and my family.

~*~ Find me on YouTube: Trisha's Sleeve Story ~*~

[Dub 9,922]

Well.........I can't speak for everyone else.....but I can say that there was a time during the process that I felt somewhat the same.

It was just before I wrote the check to pay for the surgery & pre-op/post-op care.

I kept thinking....you know how to lose weight. You've done it before and can do it again. You got this. Do it yourself.

I almost convinced myself to save the money and spend it on the sports car I wanted.

Then I thought about it. My fat arse trying to enjoy that new car.

I thought about what the most was I'd ever lost in one effort.....how much it relied on excercise (stuff that I'm unable to do at this time due to injuries)........how long it took...........how it was only 1/2 what I need to lose this time.

Yeah.....I kissed the sports car goodbye and gladly wrote the check for my sleeve surgery. Instead of driving a sports car I can....with some work.....FEEL like one soon.

I don't regret it for a moment.

That being said, if you aren't going to support yourself post-op and push yourself to adhere to the diet.......and it is a diet and new way of eating.......then the surgery is a needless waste of time, expense and opportunity.

Only you can gauge how much effort that you are willing to put forth. This is the deciding factor as I saw it for myself.

[Kindle 8,667]

@@Dub your post made me smile. I had similar thoughts as I drained my savings account and got the cashiers check to pay for my surgery. That money was supposed to be for a new truck. 2 years later I'm still driving my 16 year old rust bucket. But damn! I look good (and feel good) doing it

[Tssiemer1 549]

"What if I fail" mainly goes through my head.

I've been on this pre pre op diet since September and was doing really well, lost 13 lbs and this weekend I slipped up due to stress and I'm afraid I'll just continue to slip up.