Struggling! Please help!

[phatfatgirl 100]

I feel like I'm self sabotaging! This process has been going on since Dec 2014 and now that I'm nearing the finish line i feel like i just can't get with it! I'm going from band to bypass and my surgery is 11/16. I've YET to start my preop liquid diet *though I'm allowed one meal on pre op* I'm doing the one meal but it's completely unhealthy! I'm trying to do the Protein Shakes in the morning but it's so difficult! I normally don't eat bfast or lunch regardless. Just dinner and junk for like an evening snack. I'm supposed to be losing before my date and i haven't! Due to this my weight has also been at a standstill! Please be gentle. I need a stern talking to but no bashing. If u can't differentiate between the two please just scroll by. I'm already in a funk. Why am i doing this?

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Congratulations for persevering so long. I know how tough it is. I was delayed due to financing issues so I understand.

Why are you sabotaging yourself? Who knows. It is probably driven by fear. But, it doesn't really matter why. What matters right now is whether or not you want to have the surgery now, and if so, if you want it to be safe and effective. What matters is what you do and not what you feel. (I recommend a very good book for WLS patients called Eat It Up! that talks about this issue.) I spent a lot of years trying to figure out "why" I was obese. I did learn a lot of myself, but ultimately, I just had to accept that I was regardless of why.

Your pre-op requirements are designed so that you will have the best possible outcome. They are designed so you will not only survive the surgery but will do so with minimal risk. It's only for a short time.

If you are not ready to follow your surgeon's orders for pre-op, then you aren't ready for surgery at this time.

What can you do if you are not prepared to postpone your surgery date?

Get rid of everything you are not allowed to eat if you can't control what you put in your mouth. Do it now.

Make a detailed, written plan of what you will eat and when and stick to it.

Record everything you put in your mouth either on paper or using an app like MyFitnessPal.

Forgive yourself for not following your plan but love yourself enough to do everything possible to follow it from this second forward.

Write out a list or narrative about why you want this surgery and what you want your life to be like.

Make a list of everything that is holding you back from having the life you want.

Find something to do, especially with your hands, besides eating and obsessing about food.

Drink lots of Water.

Again, this pre-op diet is just for now. You will get to eat again. You will not starve to death. It is not the end of the world.

If you are allowed things like sugar-free Popsicles or green vegetables, then by all means use them to keep yourself from grazing on foods not allowed on your program.

I also suggesting giving your NUT a call and being honest about your struggles. He or she may have some helpful suggestions.

You can do this.

[phatfatgirl 100]

Thank you thank you thank you sooooo much @innersurfergirl for this detailed response. I appreciate it all. Definitely some great tips listed. I just can't see myself postponing this surgery. It's taken me so long to get here and once i was completely done all prerequisites it was a 7 week wait for my date! I just can't go through that again. I will start tom. You're right about getting rid of the bad stuff and stocking up on the good ones. I'll get on that tom along with planning meals and Journaling.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@phatfatgirl

@@Inner Surfer Girl said everything I wanted to say more effectively than I would have. (Thank you, ISG.) She made excellent points and suggestions, but the one that stands out above all is the easiest, fastest and, for the next 10 days, most important as I see it. Then take the next logical step from there:

"I also suggest giving your NUT a call and being honest about your struggles. He or she may have some helpful suggestions."

[phatfatgirl 100]

Thank you for both of your advice. It worked tremendously today and i feel like I've turned a page.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

That is great to hear!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Yippee!!

Why is it so easy for so many (me, included, but that's different, of course ) to too often skip over the obvious? Is making things more complicated than necessary a better-paying job?

@@phatfatgirl -- knock 'em out.

Edited November 7, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I want to add a warning. Please do not skip meals. You don't get bonus points for not eating and it will backfire ---- it messes with your metabolism and you will tend to overeat to compensate for the hunger. You really need to get in the habit of eating regularly. It is so important post-op to drink and eat frequently enough to get in all of your Protein and Fluid requirements.

If you wait to drink until you are thirsty, you waited too long.

If you wait to eat until you are "starving", you will overeat.

[phatfatgirl 100]

I want to add a warning. Please do not skip meals. You don't get bonus points for not eating and it will backfire ---- it messes with your metabolism and you will tend to overeat to compensate for the hunger. You really need to get in the habit of eating regularly. It is so important post-op to drink and eat frequently enough to get in all of your Protein and Fluid requirements.

If you wait to drink until you are thirsty, you waited too long.

If you wait to eat until you are "starving", you will overeat.

This is so true. It's why my metabolism is shot now. I've always had a lot of stomach issues and i work for transportation here (on the trains) so i used to not eat Breakfast or lunch. Can't just use the bathroom here if your stuck on the train. No pottys. Just dinner once i got home and Snacks for dessert. So my weight stood at standstill for a very long time. That's been my struggle. I've been working on it during the pre op stage. Trying to get in at least one meal during the day. But thankfully once i go back to work after surgery i will be working afternoons so it'll be so much easier.