December 16th! How are you telling people about surgery?

[christinesmiles 4]

I just received my insurance approval and my surgery is scheduled for December 16th. Yea & Yikes!

I was wondering how many people are telling others about your surgery, if so what are you saying? I'm ususally a super open person, willing to talk about anything but I have these weird feelings about telling casual friends/co-workers about my surgery. Anyone else feeling the same way?

Kindly,

Christine

[Babbs 14,680]

I'm in the minority. I told all my friends and family on Facebook, and will pretty much tell anyone who asks (if I'm in the mood). I've had nothing but support and love given to me since day one. If someone has said anything derogatory, it hasn't been to my face, lol. I think they know better.

I will get some weird reactions when I tell people I don't know very well. I just think some of them don't know how to react, and some seem supportive, but who knows and frankly, who cares.

Like I said, I'm in the minority. Most choose to tell very few people if any, and that's okay too. I've just always been an open book, and wanted as much support I could get. It's really helped motivate me. But we are all different

[TXhappyday 22]

Hi Christine, I just had my surgery this past Monday and I'm still trying to figure out how to tell friends, extended family, coworkers... Most of my close friends know the struggle I've had with my weight and the impact it's had on my life so they've been very supportive when I told them. Even my brothers were supportive which I wasn't sure was going to be the case.

I work from home full-time with occasional travel and really only needed to tell a few people when I scheduled time off work. However, a couple of people I shared the info with decided to share it and when I learned how many people knew what I was doing I felt very exposed... and immediately thought of all of the judgment that was going on... but that was probably my own fear surfacing.

Quite a few of my friends and people in my town have had bariatric surgery so it's not uncommon. I've had some tell me that they've kept it a secret from extended family that live elsewhere... and when asked how they did it they just say that they started eating smaller portions, exercising, etc.. which is all true.

It's no one's business... BUT, I decided to just tell people the truth and then stand strong and try not to let the judgments of others affect me. This was my decision based on various factors and no one knows what my life has been like... if they criticize me for having the surgery then they're just plain ignorant. I've got a couple family members that have been cruel in the past and could be labeled "bullies" so this has been a big part of my emotional journey through the surgery.

[christinesmiles 4]

Hi Christine, I just had my surgery this past Monday and I'm still trying to figure out how to tell friends, extended family, coworkers... Most of my close friends know the struggle I've had with my weight and the impact it's had on my life so they've been very supportive when I told them. Even my brothers were supportive which I wasn't sure was going to be the case.

I work from home full-time with occasional travel and really only needed to tell a few people when I scheduled time off work. However, a couple of people I shared the info with decided to share it and when I learned how many people knew what I was doing I felt very exposed... and immediately thought of all of the judgment that was going on... but that was probably my own fear surfacing.

Quite a few of my friends and people in my town have had bariatric surgery so it's not uncommon. I've had some tell me that they've kept it a secret from extended family that live elsewhere... and when asked how they did it they just say that they started eating smaller portions, exercising, etc.. which is all true.

It's no one's business... BUT, I decided to just tell people the truth and then stand strong and try not to let the judgments of others affect me. This was my decision based on various factors and no one knows what my life has been like... if they criticize me for having the surgery then they're just plain ignorant. I've got a couple family members that have been cruel in the past and could be labeled "bullies" so this has been a big part of my emotional journey through the surgery.

Thanks for your post @@TXhappyday! Congratulations on your surgery and I hope you are doing well. I'm so sorry that people decided to share your information, that's tough. However it sounds like you handled it very well and have a great attitude about the future.

I do not know anyone that has had this surgery and the close friends that I have told have been supportive but shocked. Of course, all my friends are skinny minis so they don't really understand my struggle. I just need to find my confidence in my decision and let the chips falls where they may.

Thanks again for your response!

Christine

[christinesmiles 4]

I'm in the minority. I told all my friends and family on Facebook, and will pretty much tell anyone who asks (if I'm in the mood). I've had nothing but support and love given to me since day one. If someone has said anything derogatory, it hasn't been to my face, lol. I think they know better.

I will get some weird reactions when I tell people I don't know very well. I just think some of them don't know how to react, and some seem supportive, but who knows and frankly, who cares.

Like I said, I'm in the minority. Most choose to tell very few people if any, and that's okay too. I've just always been an open book, and wanted as much support I could get. It's really helped motivate me. But we are all different

Hi @@Babbs, thanks for your response. I am so happy that your friends and family have been so supportive, that is wonderful! I have told a few friendss and my sister and they have been supportive but shocked at my decision. I know in my heart it is the right path for me. I work with lots of people and know Im gonig to have to tell them something, I hope I get the courage to just tell them what is really going on. I can't figure out why I'm feeling so secretive again this, maybe I'm afraid this will fail too?

Thanks again for your reply,

Christine

[TXhappyday 22]

Christine,

Let me add that I had a few friends tell me that I didn't need the surgery - in my mind they were just making small talk, etc... Or they asked me why I was doing it. I always responded that my insurance approved it... and that was all I said... because I just wasn't prepared with a response. My bmi was right at 35 but I had been struggling with the weight for more than 20 years and with my medical history I couldn't see me ever getting back to a healthy weight without the sleeve.

[Babbs 14,680]

@@christinesmiles

If you're not comfortable telling your Co workers, then by all means, don't.

Yes, they will notice your weight loss, but it's easily explained by a quick "I'm watching what I eat and excersising" explanation. That's as far as you need to go.

I work from home, so I didn't really have to deal with the Co worker situation. But from some of the posts I've seen on this forum, that can be tricky with varied responses. A lot of them can be down right rude. If you aren't prepared for that, just keep it quiet. You do what's best for you. This is your journey.

[christinesmiles 4]

Thanks @@Babbs and @@TXhappyday, I was worried that people may think I was sick if I lost a lot of weight rather quickly and i didn't want people to worry. Still on the fence about what I'll tell people but I really appreciate your sharing your stories with me.

[Shylarose 53]

Hi Christine,

Well, I am the Meyers Briggs classic "INFJ", which means it is very difficult for me to share much with others. I have told my boss and his executive assistant, my sister, and a co-ministry leader

at my church. I have yet to tell my mom, as she worries about such things. I am thinking that a

couple weeks prior to my December 15th surgery should be about the right time to tell her. A couple weeks for her to process the news, but not enough time for her to drive me too crazy. =0)

[dlappjr 467]

This reminded me of a post from a Facebook group I belong to. A gentleman there has been a big advocate for WLS and speaks to groups about how life changing it is. This is an excerpt from one of his speeches, about how to tell, or what to say to people when you tell them you had surgery. His name is Bill Streetman. If you want to see some of his video on youtube, search for him there. He recently rode his bike from Ohio to NC to speak at an Obesity seminar there.  https://www.whs-newl...hs-newlife-com/

WLS is not the reason I, or anybody, lose weight or keep it off. Bringing in less calories than I burn up is why I lost weight. And I did that by eating less calories (but eating the correct calories to fuel my body) and exercising to increase what I burn up. In my life I have had difficulty managing my eating. So to help me I underwent gastric bypass. This helps me eat less. It does not however make me make good food choices. And it's never got me out of bed to go work out. That is why we say it's a tool, not the solution. It's no different than a short person using a ladder to paint their ceiling... a tool to assist them with the limitations that they were born with. The ladder doesn't do the painting, doesn't select the color, doesn't roll straight lines, doesn't clean up afterwards. It's a tool just like WLS.

[dlappjr 467]

When people ask what I'm doing to lose weight, I say that I am eating less, eating better and working out. I make a case by case determination if I should add the next part: "I had surgery to make my stomach smaller. As a tool, that helps me to limit the amount of food I can have, so I don't over eat." By leading with the changes in diet and exercise, with a bit of excitement in my voice, if they were the type to make a bad comment about surgery, they hold off after hearing the excitement in your voice, not wanting to ruin it. A little tip I took from Bill Streetman. It helped me get an idea of the outward facing identity that I wanted to present to people, after my surgery.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

I'm with @@Babbs

I told everyone...

EVERYONE!!

And the closest I got to negative was a mate of mine who wanted to tell me about someone he knew who blah blah blah...

Actually, I'm more reserved about telling people about it now...

Sometimes people give me the "You're looking good" or "How are you losing weight?" and I just reply with "I watch what, and how much, I eat.."

It's not that I'm ashamed of it or anything...

Not at all...

I guess it's just that now, eight or so months on, it's kinda second nature to be eating as I do and exercising as I do...

Yes, the sleeve helps...

But it doesn't do the work for you...

And just quietly, anyone who says being sleeved is the easy way out has never been sleeved...

Good luck with whatever decision you make...

Just remember that in this instance, there's no wrong choice...

It's all about what YOU are comfortable with...

Viva la sleeva!!!

[Bayougrl 23]

I'm also scheduled for the 16th. I've only told a few close friends and family. I really don't plan on telling too many people ahead of time because I did that with my band and I failed miserably. When I finally do lose, I will just answer "I had the gastric sleeve and I'm eating a lot less these days."