Why are people so mean to you after WLS?

[DrewzWife 65]

Sorry I posted on the wrong forum!

Edited November 2, 2015 by MzAlice

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Stop telling her. She may be dealing with her own issues and your success could actually be discouraging to her. It could feel like you are flaunting your success over hers. If she's a friend, why not just find something else to talk about? It's not their job to pat you on the back. If the friendship is worth it to you, then take weight loss out of the equation.

[DrewzWife 65]

I understand where you are coming from but I'm not flaunting it at all. Wouldn't you be happy if you reached a goal that you set for yourself? Well anyway I don't need people like that in my life. And besides that's not a friend that gets mad at you for losing weight.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I'm not saying you are flaunting it, I'm saying it could feel that way to them. I'm not sure why it's important that they text you back and say congratulations. Don't get me wrong, it's an accomplishment and you should be proud. It just seems unfair to expect them to be over the moon when they may be struggling with their own weight loss issues. Other than talk to them abut how much you have loss have you asked them how they are doing? Even better have you asked them what good tips they have discovered? Maybe try changing the script a little. As an outsider I just don't see their silence as being mad at you. Like I said, I'd stop talking weight loss with them at all. It may just be more than they can handle at this point.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Because for me IT AIN'T NOTHING TO CUT THAT TRICK OFF!!!

I'm seriously not even sure what that means but...

It's hard for people who are also trying to lose weight to see their results next to those of us who are fortunate enough to have WLS. Many of them are under the misconception that this is the "easy way out". They don't know the truth of the diet and exercise we have (should!) to follow. They don't know about the discomfort, the sleeplessness, the mind f**k this process really is.

That said... If you got pregnant, would you "flaunt that" to a friend struggling with infertility? If you got a raise, would you talk that up to a friend who just got laid off?

It's give and take. Yes, your friends should be happy for you, but they are human. Let them feel their feelz and respect that. You are still winning by losing, right?

[DrewzWife 65]

Have you experienced this?

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Have you experienced this?

Absolutely. But as soon as I sensed the discomfort/jealousy/hurt feelings, I backed off and realized that I needed to be more sensitive. I didn't allow anyone to take away from my success, but I also didn't wave MY SUCCESS in the face of someone who was clearly emotional about it. What would be the point in that?

[Babbs 14,680]

Sorry I posted on the wrong forum!

I'm so confused........

Obviously we are going to have to automatically start quoting the original posts around here because people are deleting them for some inexplicable reason??

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Sorry I posted on the wrong forum!

I'm so confused........

Obviously we are going to have to automatically start quoting the original posts around here because people are deleting them for some inexplicable reason??

Yes. Absolutely, yes. Makes me crazy.