Backwards question?

[LoseItKacy 347]

So I'm on here all the time. I see a lot of post about people "cheating". Here's the thing. I'm one month post op and I've NEVER cheated. I eat 3 times a day. Protein first (usually that's the only thing I eat). Everything has less than 10g of fat, 10 grams of sugar, and I shoot for 15-25g of protein per meal.

I know a lot of people who "have sips of wine" or "try taste" of things they shouldn't have. But I don't. I don't know if it's anxiety. I'm terrified of dumping. I don't want to fail this. I've lost 47 pounds and I just want to do this right.

BUT everyone says it's ok to have a treat every now an then. Or go out to eat. Or not go to the gym (I work out 5 days a week now). Even my nutritionist. They said they don't want us to completely cut everything out of our lives but learn to moderate and make better choices. But I'm terrified that if I do I'll lose control.

So question. When is it ok to "moderately" indulge? Is it normal to be so "by the book"? I don't think I'm getting enough protein in and my mom says I should add one more "meal" to my day (I can take like 2 bites of soft food so I'm probably barely getting 500 calories a day)? But my program says eat 3 times a day so I don't every snack, but should I since I work out so much?

I'm so proud of myself for not cheating but is it a bad thing that I don't ever test the waters?

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@LoseItKacy You're fretting yourself into a tizzy.

Everyone speaks of "cheating." Quite a while ago, I realized that it makes no sense. Cheating is for children (I'll leave the crappy lovers out of the equation here). Naughty, little children giggle about cheating and take pride in testing their autonomy. Adults make choices, they don't "cheat." If you change your vocabulary, you should be able to relax. When it comes to life post-op, our choices should be made responsibly so that they fit neatly in to the day's plan. I hope that makes an occasional treat a less daunting prospect.

Fear of losing control is another matter. Oh, boy. If you don't have confidence now in being able to stop at a reasonable, pre-planned portion that suits your goals, perhaps put it off until you are. You'll get there.

"Is it normal to be so 'by the book'?" "Normal" has nothing to do with it; leave the judgments out. This is about what works for you at any given time.

Deep breath.

Laurie

Edited November 2, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[LoseItKacy 347]

I don't like the word cheating either. That's why I put it in quotes. I just figured that was the most relatable word to use.

I know I'm not ready to reach outside the boundaries right now. I just want to know how do you know when you are ready to. I dumped eating apple sauce that followed my rules. I'm terrified of dumping. I dread eating right now and I feel like I'm developing a fear of food and fear of breaking the rules. I would honestly just rather not eat. I only do it when I have to. I just want to know when that goes away and when eating will feel natural and not feel so methodical. I measure and weigh everything. Is that what most people do?

[esskay77 785]

It sounds like you are doing what is right for you and that's awesome. Keep it up and "stay on your own yoga mat." lol. (don't worry what others are doing). If I could eat everything in moderation, I wouldn't have needed the surgery so I have to be careful. Especially for the first year. I think once you are at maintenance, you could ease up a tad but you are so new that you need to really stay focused, just like you are.

Keep it up and best of luck!!!

[catdaddy 232]

You've asked a good question. You should remember we're all different. For just me, I'm now over a year with my GBS. I eat everything I want to eat. But I've already made my life change and decided to eat smartly. Sure I've cheated, most of us will. Because of my body's reaction to the surgery I suffer from hypoglycemia, so I have a different way of dealing with our life change. Like I said I eat everything I want but I hurt inside when I do stupid things. It helps me, but I know if I didn't stay active I would of already gained most of my weight back. My advice to you is enjoy your new self and sample the decadent pleasures but remember you will have to pay the price. Work out and figure out what you have to do to maintain or continue to loose. Good luck and remember what you went through to get this far.

[Dar200 285]

I don't know that I can really add anything here. I just know that I am four days post op and the first time I came back to this forum after surgery I had to say whoa! out loud because I was so overwhelmed by recipes, talk of food funerals and foods missed I had to just log out. I decided I will follow my plan that my doctor set out for me. That seems to take all of that pressure off of me. It is too soon for me to think about anything else without causing myself a meltdown. If I see a thread on here that is only about food, I just won't read it. Too soon for me.

[Ashlegal 525]

When I started going to the local support group while in pre-op, I met a lot of people in different stages of their journey. A common thread among those who were less than a year post-op had this vigilante, "I'm never eating carbs again and I'm never going to even tempt myself with candies, Cookies, Snacks and I'm always going to work out 3-5 days a week; I cannot FAIL at this drastic decision!!"

And most of the members who were 2+ years out would comment with "your surgery was a tool, not a punishment and you have to be realistic about maintaining the weight loss because no matter the size of your stomach, you're still human."

I was confused as to why the huge discrepancy between ideas about the way one should eat after surgery. But the further out I am post-op the more it makes sense. I realize the idea behind remaining strict on diet is the fear of slipping into bad habits and the idea of going a little lax on the diet is a human reaction to enjoying pleasure.

Never having a cookie is extreme. Having a homemade cookie that you have prepared using great ingredients, tweaking the recipe to include less sugar, less carbs, more Protein is the balance between the two.

I believe balance and moderation is the key to long term success. It is something that is taught months before surgery and in most of us will be "perfected" months after surgery. You (general) have to know what fuels your desire to have a cookie and changing those behaviors to ensure a cookie is just a cookie and not a coping mechanism.

[TXMissy 211]

I don't agree with a lot of stuff I see on this site but it's not for me to judge. Cheating is a word I don't use. I have had things I shouldn't eat, not on the plan and there are days that I go to bed and think wow! I drank all my Water, met my Protein goals and did everything I was suppose to do! Have I been tempted by any food, every day! I just stick to my guns because I answer to myself. I can't live with knowing that I made a choice to change my life and now I make poor choices to eat or not exercise. It comes down to you! You decide your route! If you think it's ok to eat that bite, it's on you. I nor anyone can tell you what is right or wrong. You will do great and you will see that even some of things that are ok to eat mess you up or don't agree. Don't be scared, use your dr's plan and make it happen!!