Did you have a buddy with you?

[JapGirl 229]

I am planning to go in the beginning of next year and get sleeved. I haven't talked to my SO about it yet. I'm not sure if he will be on board. How did you bring it up? If your SO isn't supportive, can you go alone? Do you need a buddy?

[JamieLogical 8,708]

You don't need a buddy. I've been to Mexico twice for surgery (once for plastics and once for my sleeve) and I went alone both times.

When I was sleeved, my husband wasn't really on board with the surgery. He didn't think I needed it. But once I made up my mind to do it, he was supportive and he was very helpful during my recovery. He has been great about my new way of eating and the effect it's had on our life. He hasn't complained once!

[JapGirl 229]

My SO is one of those "if you work hard enough" type of people. But he also has never struggled with weight. Hes been in the same pant size for 2 decades. So he doesn't understand, plus he hates doctors, so he will probably think the same thing.

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

If you're SO is not on board, having a buddy to support you will do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to mitigate the negativity that will result from friction with your SO, or with anybody in your family. That said, having a buddy is useful for the sharing of experiences, but is not a panacea for underlying relationship problems associated with your surgery.

If your question relates to whether or not you can go to your appointments alone, the answer is yes, except for surgery when you will have to identify somebody as your ride home from the hospital. Since this is inpatient, I don't think it is an absolute requirement that you even show up for your procedure with anybody, since you won't be going home prior to the anesthesia wearing off.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

If your question relates to whether or not you can go to your appointments alone, the answer is yes, except for surgery when you will have to identify somebody as your ride home from the hospital. Since this is inpatient, I don't think it is an absolute requirement that you even show up for your procedure with anybody, since you won't be going home prior to the anesthesia wearing off.

This is in the Mexico sub-forum, so I assume the OP was asking about whether she needs someone to go with her to Mexico. The answer to that is "no". As for transportation to/from the hospital or clinic, the surgeon or Medical Tourism company will handle that with shuttle service. Same with getting across the border to/from the airport.

[JapGirl 229]

I wasn't sure if you can go alone, which was my main concern. My SO and I have a very stable relationship, he just hates doctors and I'm not sure if he will be supportive. And even if he is supportive of the idea, we have 2 kids and they can't be left alone. Unless I can find a friend to go with me (which I doubt), I'll be making this journey alone.

[JapGirl 229]

JamieLogical that's exactly what I meant. I see alot of discussion on this forum relating to having a "buddy" with them in Mexico and I wasn't sure if it was really necessary.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

Honestly, if you bring a buddy, they will likely just be bored out of their minds. You will be in the clinic/hospital for at least 24 hours and then just sleeping a lot back at your hotel. I didn't bring anyone with me because I would have felt some obligation to keep them entertained and knew I wouldn't be up for that. I didn't see the point in incurring the travel and hotel expenses and putting someone through that ordeal on the chance that it might make me feel *slightly* better to not be alone.

[halfsizeme 28]

I am hoping to have surgery in the next couple of months or early next year and I will be going alone. My husband will be staying at home to care for our daughter. I don't have anyone else who can really go. I don't mind doing it alone and I think it'll be better. I won't feel the need to be awake or entertain my buddy, I can just worry about healing.

[newmebithebypass 713]

wow all those going to a foreign country alone are so brave i dont think i could do it. im having mine state side and my hubby is coming to the hospital with me and taking me home and hopfully coming to visit

[JamieLogical 8,708]

Not really sure what's "brave" about it. Thousands upon thousands of people travel to foreign countries by themselves every day. I flew by myself for the first time when I was 14 years old and it was no big deal. Besides, in the case of going to Mexico for surgery, you're never really "alone". A shuttle picks you up from the San Diego airport and takes you across the border to your hotel, clinic, or hospital depending on the scheduling. There are other WLS patients all over the place in your hotel or at the clinic all going through the same thing as you. Many of them have friends or family members with them.

When I had my sleeve there were five other people at the clinic having their's the same day as me and we all chatted and got to know each other. Three of them were all together from Canada: a woman, her fiance, and her cousin were all getting sleeved the same day. Then there was a woman there who was Mexican and didn't speak any English, but her grown son had come with her and he spoke English very well, so he translated for us, so she could be in on the chatter. And there was a French woman from Philadelphia there with her husband. It was really cool getting to know them and commiserate with them over the few days were were there together.

[sleevedinseptember 69]

I had my surgery in Mexico and at first I was going to go alone as i felt confident that I would be fine. My friends and family were very unhappy with that idea and two of my close friends volunteered to come with me. Only one came with me in the end and I was really grateful for it. I didn't need her so much for physical support but the emotional side of things.

Going to Mexico was absolutely the right thing for me but it is a serious undertaking. From the flight, to checking into the hospital, to the surgery itself it was really wonderful to have someone with me who I knew was there for me and only me. I could talk to her about all my anxieties and she updated all my loved ones once I was out of surgery. if you can have someone come with you I highly recommend it. If it is not possible you will be fine for sure - physically and probably even emotionally.

I just appreciated having my friend with me - and she was the right type of person to bring as well. Don't take anyone who will make the whole experience about them or who will be overly anxious.

[JapGirl 229]

Bariatricpal provides all Logistics and Medications Included in the price (No Airfare )

this way everything is taken care of with No Worries

I've been wanting to go with BariatricPal but from the info I found on the website they won't accept me because of my BMI.

[lauriev 71]

what do you guys do with your stuff when you go alone? I was thinking of taking my ipad or my kindle or something but wasn't sure there would be a safe place for it during my procedure

[Mr. Michael 5]

I'm going alone next month.

Yes, you certainly are "brave" for going alone. Despite the fact that you aren't physically alone, you don't know the people around you from Adam. Many people need to have someone with them for their emotional security and to act as an advocate.

It may be easy for someone who thinks of this as old hat to say there's nothing special about traveling to a foreign country and putting your life in someone else's hands who you have never physically met before, but in all honesty that isn't a normal thing that most people contemplate.

To the OP - I feel your concern. I understand exactly where you're coming from. In my case, my wife had a gastric bypass many years ago so she is familiar with the process. She is very supportive of me, and honestly that makes a huge difference. We too have two children and the way circumstances dictate, she can't come with me to Mexico so I'm doing it alone. I've traveled all over the world. I used to work for an airline and we flew for free. My concern isn't the traveling part, but being in an extremely vulnerable position with no on-site support structure that you can absolutely trust.

Sure sure, don't get me wrong, I "trust" Bariatric Pal and the doctor and the support staff because this si the business they're in and I trust they'll do a good job. That isn't the same kind of trust I'm talking about. Not the same trust I have in my wife or my siblings.

The bottom line is this. In my opinion before you decide to make this decision you should have a firm support system. Preferably your SO, but if not through a support group or otherwise. Dr. Altamirano has a support group on FB and I guess some others do too. Even if you travel alone, you have got to know that people are behind you and will help you reach your goals.