Preconceptions on Surgery

[BikiniBySummer 1]

Hi. I'm new here. I've recently been exploring the option of getting sleeved. I am 5'7.5" I weigh about 195lbs. At my largest I was 250lbs. I lost 80lbs on my own about 4 years ago. I stayed at 170lbs until I quit smoking last October. I have discussed getting sleeved with friends and everyone seems so negative about it.

So to my point. When I was 170lbs I had loose skin in my stomach and had discussed getting a corrective surgery for it with my SO. In the beginning of next year we will have enough for me to get it done. He said to go for it since he knows it affect my confidence. Well I've been looking into getting sleeved instead (it's still surgery right?) But because of the reactions of my friends (all of whom have never had to battle weight like I have) I'm tentative to bring it up.... did you experience this? How did you broach the subject?

For once in my life I want to be the pretty skinny(ish) woman.... we're going on vacation with our kids in august of next year and I'd like to be comfortable in a swimsuit. Anyway I'm rambling..... any insight would be much appreciated.

[Amberina 105]

Hi there! First off- welcome to the site:)

That is awesome you were able to lose so much weight on your own! I was always able to lose weight and maintain it on my own until about 5 years ago. I had my son at age 35 and it did a number on my body. For the first time, I was not able to lose weight no matter how hard I tried. It all started happening about 2 months after my son's birth. I got the implant birth control. My metabolism flatlined. I struggled for 5 years to lose without success. My health began to rapidly decline. It was time to take action.

The reason I am telling you all of this is because I really do believe that the sleeve is an amazing tool- it has worked wonderfully for me (I'm currently a little past 3 months post op). However- I only used it as a last resort when nothing else was working. Believe me- I REALLY tried!!

Do you think that you would be a successfull losing on your own? Will you maintain the loss long term? If you think that might be a possibility- then I would definitely hold off on the surgery.

However- if you have struggled with your weight, successfully lost and then gained over and over, then the sleeve may be a great option for you. Just remember that it is only a tool- not a magic cure-all. It works wonderfully as long as you have the dedication to make it work!

What is it about the surgery that your friends are so concerned about? A lot of times when people are not educated on the subject they can have very skewed views about what this surgery is.

Good luck to you on whatever decision you make!!

Edited October 28, 2015 by Amberina

[lauraellen80 855]

Hmm, if I were you, I'd really do a lot of research before jumping into weight loss surgery.

For starters, your BMI is 30.1, which is just barely into the "obese" range, and well under the BMI of 40 that most insurances require (unless you have co-morbidities, which often lower the required BMI to 35). I'm not sure how many surgeons will operate on someone with your BMI--I'm sure someone else can chime in on that.

Now, from what you said in your post, as well as your username, it also seems like you are interested in the surgery from a purely aesthetic point of view--i.e., wanting to be "the pretty skinny(ish) woman" and to look good in a bikini next summer. The sleeve is a lifelong commitment. You will be required to overhaul your entire approach to food and drink, commit to taking the necessary Vitamins and supplements for life, etc. I'm not saying that you are looking for a quick fix, or that you wouldn't be committed, I'm just saying that because of how you worded things in your post, these are things I think you should be conscious of as you are thinking about the surgery. Most of us who've had the surgery came from a place where our health was the number one concern. Looking better is certainly a part of it, don't get me wrong, but not the primary consideration. Personally, I was spurred into action by worsening back pain, headaches, bladder problems, elevated blood sugar, and other health problems... as well as the sudden and untimely death of an aunt, who had been super morbidly obese for most of her adult life.

Also--if you are bothered by having excess skin now, it will only get worse after more losing weight with the sleeve, and you would most likely end up wanting to have the plastic surgery anyway.

Best of luck to you!

[BikiniBySummer 1]

I have tried the past year to lose weight unsuccessfully. I'm not sure why but for whatever reason, I'll lose 10lbs and then gain it back even with going to the gym 4-5 days a week and eating restricted calories. The only way my boys has ever been able to lose weight has been if I eat 800 calories or less per day.... that is how I lost weight before. I took a prescription appetite suppressant off and on for 1.5 years and I ate about 800 calories or less. Then I'd go through a period of about 2-4 weeks where I ate a normal, but healthy diet. After I'd start the low cal diet again.

I maintained my weightloss for 3 years, I only gained when I quit smoking (which is extremely common). And since then I haven't been able to maintain such a low calories per day intake over the long term.

Everyone seems to think it's the easy way out, and that there's too many risks, or the diet change, or that I'm not overweight enough (I'm considered obese again), that it's a waste of money.... etc. Part of me think it's a combination of a lack of education on it, and.... this one is hard to explain. My friends are all mothers.... their children are relatively younger than mine, and they never struggled with weight. They were the size 3 type of girls until they had kids, now they have gained weight since having kids and I think it's partially jealously because they can't have it done, or because they are not as financially stable as me and my SO are to be able to afford it.

I know it isn't a magic solution, but it would enable me to loose weight the only way that has ever worked for me.

[BikiniBySummer 1]

Btw I will be paying put of pocket 100% for this procedure. I've done a ton of research. A couple of hours a day for more than 3 weeks. The minimum is a bmi of 30, depending on the surgeon. Some will do it with a bmi of 25 with comorbidities

[BikiniBySummer 1]

I only chose this name because it wouldn't take my previous 10 choices for screen name. It's not purely aesthetic. I have a degenerated disc in my lower back which is extremely painful. I already eat relatively healthy as it is. I changed my life style when I lose weight the first time and I take Vitamins on a regular basis.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

If you don't meet the requirements you will have to pay for it out of pocket. Check with your health insurance to find out what the requirements are.

[BikiniBySummer 1]

Proud2BMe I am paying for it 100% out of pocket and I'm okay with that.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Well I've been looking into getting sleeved instead (it's still surgery right?) But because of the reactions of my friends (all of whom have never had to battle weight like I have) I'm tentative to bring it up.... did you experience this? How did you broach the subject?

Why do you need to bring it up? Does their approval or opinion matter? Are you making your medical decisions for yourself, for your family or for your friends?

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

It is your body and your life. No one else has to like it. tell them to *^&% off. A lot of people keep their surgery secret, I have. I don't have anyone in my life that needs to know about my medical decisions and it seems like the only person that need to know in yours is your SO who is supportive. If you have one supportive person that is all you need. If you want to have surgery make your life easier and keep it to yourself.

I also wouldn't let people discourage me from having surgery because I have a lower BMI. I wish I had surgery when my BMI was lower, I would have lost weight easier and done less damage to my body.

[Amberina 105]

If this has been a life long struggle for you then I really do believe that the surgery may be a good tool for you to utilize. At first it will make the calorie restriction quite easy for you. As time goes by it will be possible to get in quite a few calories- you just have to make sure that you really stick with your plan. Like most people on here I was terrified about my health declining at a rapid pace. If you feel the same way, and you have done the research- make an appointment with a surgeon and see what they have to say. Go to a couple of meetings and see what you think. Getting more info and input from others can only help you!

[BikiniBySummer 1]

It is your body and your life. No one else has to like it. tell them to *^&% off. A lot of people keep their surgery secret, I have. I don't have anyone in my life that needs to know about my medical decisions and it seems like the only person that need to know in yours is your SO who is supportive. If you have one supportive person that is all you need. If you want to have surgery make your life easier and keep it to yourself.

I also wouldn't let people discourage me from having surgery because I have a lower BMI. I wish I had surgery when my BMI was lower, I would have lost weight easier and done less damage to my body.

Thank you! I feel like everyone is against me at this point

Idk if my SO is supportive yet. Which is the reason for this post.... hes really against doctors period. I'm not sure how to bring it up to him

[BikiniBySummer 1]

Well I've been looking into getting sleeved instead (it's still surgery right?) But because of the reactions of my friends (all of whom have never had to battle weight like I have) I'm tentative to bring it up.... did you experience this? How did you broach the subject?

Why do you need to bring it up? Does their approval or opinion matter? Are you making your medical decisions for yourself, for your family or for your friends?

I didn't think about it that way. Thats a good point.

[lauraellen80 855]

I only chose this name because it wouldn't take my previous 10 choices for screen name. It's not purely aesthetic. I have a degenerated disc in my lower back which is extremely painful. I already eat relatively healthy as it is. I changed my life style when I lose weight the first time and I take Vitamins on a regular basis.

Okay, my mistake. Like I said, it was just the sense I got from your original post.

As for the question of bringing up the topic of surgery with your friends--you don't have to if you don't want to. It's your health, your body, your business. If you have the sense that they are not going to be supportive, I'd say don't bother trying to change them. Just make sure you have some kind of support system--family, a support group at your surgeon's office, this forum, or maybe even a therapist. I have been somewhat selective in who I tell about my surgery, though I've found that most are supportive.

As for bringing it up with your SO, I would collect as much research as possible for him to look at, and even have him come along to your appointment with the surgeon so he understands what it is and can even ask questions himself.

[BikiniBySummer 1]

My name is Martha, I am 31 yrs. old I have always battled with my weight. I was willing to do anything even the other types of surgeries, luckly my husband heard of the band and gave me tons of info on it, so I began looking up info talking to my doctor about and decided to go for it. I am scheduled for my ban september 22 in Monterry Mex. with Dr. Rumbout. I am a little nervous, (will it work for me, will it hurt, can I keep it up) but I am optimistic, it has worked for many the way I see it has to work for me. Wish me luck. Martha

It has always been a struggle for me. I was over 200lbs before I turned 18.