Help please! Losing control

[kelly lynn 19]

Hey everyone, I've been really struggling for a couple of months now. I'm 11mos out and between 30-40 lbs to goal. Things in my life have been getting increasingly more stressful and last week I totally fell off the food wagon! I'm angry, frustrated, disappointed in myself, etc...etc... I've been falling back to old habits- sneaking food, binging and all I'm thinking about again. I feel like I can't stop! Everyone in my life that I told about this have just gotten mad at me and goes on and on about how I am screwing up and disgusting that I would let this happen. I need my mind back in the right place. I know what I need to do but how do I get back on that path in my mind??

[Daisee68 2,493]

I am not sure I have great advice but I don't want your question to go unanswered! I would say you took the first step by coming here and asking for help. My number one piece of advice is go see a therapist if you can at all. That will help. (Call your surgeon for a referral of someone who works with bariatric patients.) At the very least, seek out a local support group if you cannot go to a therapist. Secondly, maybe try a reset by just doing shakes for a few days and go through that "withdrawal" of the addictive foods again. That may help you get back to where you were in your mind the week before your surgery. Spend some time during those few days really thinking about why you did this and how far you have come. Every time during those few days of shakes that you want to reach for food or think you are hungry, go lock yourself in your room or in your car or somewhere away from food and really concentrate on your accomplishment this far. Why did you have the surgery? What was your first big NSV? What was your favorite NSV? Write it down. Start a journal and turn to that journal instead of eating.

You have lost 105 pounds! That is amazing! You have the drive. You can totally do this!

[kelly lynn 19]

Thank you so much for responding.. It means a lot. I know there's not a simple answer or fix but some of what you said I will definitely try!

[nnv 44]

Also, don't forget that you're human. One mistake is just that...a mistake. You haven't failed, you've just proven your humanity. Forgive yourself. I also agree, a counselor can help you explore the "why" and help you figure out how to make a better choice next time. You should be proud of how far you've come!!! Don't let this define or defeat you.

[Madeleine Renee 77]

You have already lost so much, you know how to do it.

I think that the idea of a therapist is good. Someone to talk to and get ideas to help you control your urges.

I am 2 months out, stalled right now....

Its difficult, I sneak a cookie here and there, a bite of this and that....

You can do this, you already showed to yourself you can!

Reset your mind , get someone to talk to and it should help you greatly.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Congratulations on your progress up to now. As many have noted, this is a marathon and not a sprint. We are all going to encounter stress, roadblocks, and difficulties. I would recommend gathering all of your resources (make an appointment with your NUT and a therapist), and going back to basics.

I wrote this post about stalls, but think it equally applies to your situation.

Embrace the Stall!

http://BariatricPal.com/index.php?/topic/351046-Embrace-the-Stall

[kelly lynn 19]

Thank you for all of your thoughts. I tried again today but failed. Not giving up though. I just wish I had support from more ppl around me. On a side note, I have made contact with my nutritionist and going to hopefully talk with her soon

[beachgal2935 596]

@@kelly lynn I hear a lot of people who share in your struggle. I'm glad to see you're reaching out as that is the first step back to success. There's a wonderful website called bariatriceating.com. They also have a Facebook page with thousands of people in your exact same situation. The website was started and is hosted by a woman who is 15 years out so she knows all about the regain. I hope you'll check it out as there's a world of great information on the site. I just love it! I wish you the best and know you will succeed!!! They have a program called BOT (Back on Track):

Information is pretty thin stuff unless mixed with Experience.
Just one year ago I had a closet full of clothes. AND. NOTHING. FIT. ANYMORE. I was ashamed, astonished, upset, despondent and had to do something. I’m older and my body is different but I figured it out again. The Secret to Losing Weight AFTER Weight Loss Surgery is Diet & Exercise. Yes, the big bad ‘Fad Diet’ that the negative Nellies are up in arms over is Diet & Exercise! (that’s okay, let them wallow in their Oreo and Tortilla eating while we lose regain weight)

The secret sauce of a plan is simply Old Fashioned Diet & Exercise fueled by Bariatric Surgery, Inspire Protein drinks, small workout routines and our Kick Butt Bariatric Eating Support Group on Facebook!

Thousands of members in our Facebook Support Group excitedly post their ‘BOT’ or Back On Track successes. People are losing a lot of weight again. ‘BOT’ works!

It is hard to get the ball rolling but you have what it takes to dig in and do it. I know exactly how you feel and what you face and so do BE Team members on Facebook who are there to help you! Make up your mind and lets get moving. There are two parts… follow both and you will see that it is like flipping on the switch for weight loss. No kidding. Nothing like a fast ten pound weight loss for an amazing attitude adjustment!

1. DIET – 5 SMALL Protein MEALS A DAY

Reality Check.
IF we made good food choices before bariatric surgery, we would not have been Morbidly Obese. The same denial works against us now. I tried telling myself I was not eating differently than I was ten years ago! You are trying to float that by folks too. Get real with yourself. I gained weight back because of my food choices. You know you are eating differently. Say it out loud. Admit it. Own it.

There are bariatric groups all over Facebook where they talk about how much they can eat, that sugar doesn’t make them sick, that Mountain Dew or drinking soda doesn’t hurt them, they compare notes on how many slices of pizza they can fit and how much of a Subway Sandwich they can eat. Until you admit YOU are the problem and take ownership of the situation, it’s pretty certain that you will continue along the same path to where you started. This is where we split into two groups – the Dreamers and the Doers!

Solution?
Removing choices to limit calories, carbs and sugar. Five Small Protein Meals a day – 4 of those consist of Protein Drinks and the last is a Healthy Protein & salad Meal – this will limit your total caloric intake. This premise of Protein Drinks throughout the day paired with a healthy protein and vegetable supper is the cornerstone many successful diet plans, including world renown Johns Hopkins Hospital medically supervised weight loss programs. (there is a $6000 program fee to join the JH plan and it’s an amazing program that shepherds many to large weight losses, but ours is free so you might want to try us *first*)

#InspireLiquidWillpower
You can use any brand of Protein Drink to follow the plan but we recommend and use Inspire Protein powder and my current pantry contains vanilla, strawberry White chocolate, banana smoothie and Peanut Butter Cup. The satiety or ‘fullness factor’ of Inspire protein drinks is off the charts and they taste fantastic. Inspire is liquid Willpower for me, it is applauded by nearly all in our Support Group and it should do the same for you! One bag of Inspire makes 20 drinks & at 4 per day, you will need 3 bags for your 2 week commitment, or 6 bags for your 4 week commitment. A smaller investment than Nutrasystem! We do recommend a 5th shake to be used after supper IF nighttime snacking is a problem for you as it is for me. I drink an Inspire Peanut Butter Cup drink while watching The Real Housewives so I will stay out of the fridge. It’s a 100 calorie indulgence that works like a charm.

My Day
Breakfast – 1 scoop Inspire Protein Powder blended with about 6 ounces of Almond Breeze Unsweetened Almond Milk or Skim Milk or Water. TIP: I am a reformed *lifetime Breakfast skipper* I fix myself a huge mug of black coffee and at the same time blend an Inspire Protein Drink. Inspire is like a glass of chocolate milk, small and thin: and allows me to ‘break the fast’ with protein. No Blender Needed. Glass – Milk – powder – Stir – Sip
Mid Morning Protein Snack – 1 scoop Inspire protein powder blended with about 6 ounces of Almond Breeze Unsweetened Almond Milk or Skim Milk or Water
lunch – 1 scoop Inspire protein powder blended with about 6 ounces of Almond Breeze Unsweetened Almond Milk or Skim Milk or Water
Mid Afternoon Protein Snack – 1 scoop Inspire protein powder blended with about 6 ounces of Almond Breeze Unsweetened Almond Milk or Skim Milk or Water
Healthy Protein Supper – Bariatric Eating Menu for the Week
The easiest meal plan is Protein FIRST, followed by lower carbohydrate vegetables, fruits. Our ultimate goal is to transition to a really sensible healthy diet that you read about all the time.

For Back on Track the nightly meal consists of a grilled, broiled, pan seared, roasted or poached protein such as salmon, shrimp, cod, halibut, chicken, beef sirloin, turkey tenderloin served with seasoned lower carb vegetables or salad.< /p> IMPORTANT:
1. No bread, no potatoes, no tortillas, no rice, no rolls, no Pasta, no high carb foods.
2. Do NOT drink with your meals. If you have been drinking with meals. STOP IT.
3. Drink 8 cups of Water or zero calorie liquid daily. If it’s difficult for you, download our free Hydration app at GetHyApp.com

Here is your first week of evening meals. All recipes are linked on our site.
Monday – Salmon with Mango Salsa, broccoli
Tuesday – Asparagus omelet, lettuce Tomato salad
Wednesday – Chicken Cutlets, baby spinach salad
Thursday – Cheesy Meatball Skillet, romaine tossed with lemon, olive oil and parmesan
Friday – chicken Lettuce Wraps" rel="external nofollow">Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps
Saturday – Warm Shrimp Salad with Avocado
Sunday – Grilled Marinated Flank Steak, lettuce tomato salad

2. EXERCISE – THE NEW ‘EASY WAY OUT’ OF OBESITY

There's a whole plan laid out on the website for this!

The Skinny
It’s a beautiful thing and you’ll be So Proud when the fat begins to slowly melt away, almost as it did when you first had surgery. The clouds clear and the sun shines more brightly when you’ve got your Groove Back!

In just a few days you will feel better and notice a difference. In two weeks your clothes will fit differently and this great feeling will begin to pull your through this plan with EXCITEMENT instead of the PUSH that it will take right now.

This plan for weight loss after bariatric surgery is proven to work for either first time or regain. I have lost over fifty pounds that ‘I found’ after all these years, but more importantly I redirected my life. I am talking ‘tough love’ because I am the person who put away her skinny jeans that no longer fit and ignored the problem until I had to do something. I was the one in danger of failing.

My experiences can help you if you truly want to lose more weight or take control of a gain. This plan turns on the fat burning engines. No kidding. Let’s roll.

The only reason not to begin right now is fear of failure and I promise if you follow this, YOU WILL NOT FAIL. We got this one.

[glitter eyes 1,398]

First of all give yourself a lot of credit for what you have accomplished!! You are a success. Also, this weight loss surgery is for life. It's not just a diet that we do until we get to goal. That being said life does happen and there will be times we don't eat perfect or have bad weeks. The trick is to recognize what is happening (which you have) and to go back to basics to correct the problem.

One bad week does not make you a failure. I went on vacation for 14 days this summer and I gave myself permission to eat like crap. I ate horrible and gained 12 pounds. When I got home I did three days of Protein Shakes only then the rest of the week Protein. I lost my vacation weight that week.

I have thin friends and have noticed that they have times they eat poorly and then they get right back on track.

Realistically we can't be perfect all the time the rest of our lives. One trick is to not let the guilt make you feel bad enough to continue the behavior.

You can get this under control!! Just remember how far you have come.

I agree with one of the above posters- focus on some of your non scale victories you have experienced. Maybe when you want to snack or get head hunger you can journal on how those have made you feel.

Good luck!!

[ellie123 374]

You are so brave to share...at least you know you need help. Many people are too far gone before they do, or too proud to ask. I believe you can do this. I believe if you just stop for a minute, be silent in yourself and stop the world from spinning, and reach deep down within to that peaceful place where you can visualize yourself achieving your goal...you can quiet down some of the mental chatter that has you feeling so frantic.

Good luck dear!

[Dream4tc 192]

http://5daypouchtest.com/

Try this, also call your counselor with your Bariatric program, and dietician. If you were in a bariatric program before surgery, they should be able to help. Also most employers offer an Employee Assistance program where you can get at least 6 counseling sessions for free. The first step is admitting that you need help and glad you recognized it and seeking help. You will gain control, and it will get better, but you will need some coping strategies to get you through these tough situations. You have done so well with 105 pound loss!!! That is amazing!! You can keep that from coming back if you get some guidance. Best of luck to you

[kelly lynn 19]

Thanks guys! Wish me luck. I'm going to try really hard to do the back on track plan!!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Thanks guys! Wish me luck. I'm going to try really hard to do the back on track plan!!

It has been a few days since this reply. How are you doing?

[Lenoralogan@yhoo.com 13]

Hi I'm lenore how do I join the group I'm trying to get the surgery and I would like to be in you all support group

Sent from my SM-N910P using the BariatricPal App

[brown eyed gal 59]

I realize this is an older post but has lots of good info. Thank you!