Why are so many White Women marrying Black Men?

[Darragha 0]

Trolls are posters who like to jump out and go "BOO!" and stir up trouble. Then they slink back under their bridge and skulk while they plot they're next attack. Not all trolls are nasty-bad people in real life, however. The anonymity of the internet allows folks to hide behind bad behavior they'd never do face to face.

For all the posters on this site, I'm seeing fewer trolls, flames and Lord of the Flies behaviors than I have on other weight loss boards. LapBandsters must be an overall happier lot, huh?

[Kat817 19]

I fully believe that most here at LBT are happy, and want to get along. Even in this case, we really were not blasting HIM so much as his unwillingness to discuss things, as well as a constant race theme.....but nothing that could not have been talked through if BOTH parties wanted to.

Hey if your dog needs a fluffier bed, I got lotsa flab they can have!!!

Welcome to LBT!

Kat

[marjon9 6]

Hey! Who you callin' happy?

[DebLPN 0]

Ok,,,,I've seen this thread for so long I finally felt a need to say something.

I think that Lee could lose alot more weight if he lost that huge CHIP on his shoulder.

To address the other aspects of his post would require me to abandon my Southern belle manners, so I'll refrain. Unless he keeps it up.

banded 1/29/07

Dr Ken Cleveland-CMMC-Jackson, MS

[Darragha 0]

Hey if your dog needs a fluffier bed, I got lotsa flab they can have!!!

The old dog (age 13) and the new kitten (10 weeks!) have lots of flab to play with around here. But not for long! WHOOHOO!

Darr

[green 6]

That photo of your dog and kitten is so sweet! I am glad that you have got it tied in with your signature. It puts a smile on my face everytime I see it.

[green 6]

I fully believe that most here at LBT are happy, and want to get along. Even in this case, we really were not blasting HIM so much as his unwillingness to discuss things, as well as a constant race theme.....but nothing that could not have been talked through if BOTH parties wanted to.

Hey if your dog needs a fluffier bed, I got lotsa flab they can have!!!

Welcome to LBT!

Kat

I used to have a pretty good friend who was a little bit older than I am. He was black and married to a white woman. Their relationship was a long one and a very happy one. They were both terrific people but my friend was absolutely obsessed by race issues and could talk of little else. I was very patient with him because I have had to deal with anti-Semitism and, because I was one of the first women to get a job working on the floor building aircraft, male chauvinism. He did, however, alienate himself from everyone of my other friends who happened to meet him including a much younger black man. They found him to be obsessive and a horrible bore

It turns out that my friend and his sister were the product of an interracial marriage which took place in the 1940s. His father was a black man who came up to Canada from Alabama and his mother was a Canadian white woman. His father died while the family was quite young leaving the white mother to fend for herself and her interracial children. Needless to say, his mother was treated badly and so were her children, that is to say my friend and his sister. He remembers his sister being so sick that his mother grabbed up the pair of them and took them to the nearest hospital. The doctor on call took one look at this family and refused to treat the child. A nurse reluctantly helped the child.

I guess I am inclined to cut Lee4 some slack with respect to the race themes which do constantly appear in his posts because I find myself thinking about my friend. (He has moved away from the city and despite our best efforts we have since lost touch, by the way.) I do believe that when you belong you take those areas of your life where you are never, ever challenged for granted. How can you not? An example: beautiful thin people are used to getting great customer service wherever they go. They don't have to think about it and they assume that this is the norm for everyone. It is the people who don't belong who will see the inequities, the differences, and they may carry wounds and these wounds may fester. Thus to non-racist white people all this chat on the part of Lee4 about race just seems weird; race is invisible to us. It is not invisible to a bigot of course, nor is it invisible to someone who has been characterised as different or as an outsider by virtue of something which is outside of his control.

Fat is an issue which is not dissimilar.

[Kat817 19]

Where I live the percentage of blacks is EXTREMELY low. But at the same time, white is not the race of majority either. I live bordering the Navajo Nation, the biggest Native American Reservation in the US. We deal with serious crime based racism a lot. My nephews are both biracial, so I do try to see things from that point as well. I will admit to letting Lee anger me before thinking that he too may have been raised similar to what your friend was and dealt with many a similar thing. He has made reference to a somewhat unpleasant side to his family in other posts, all the while stating his Mom raised him to be able to do the work of a lowly woman!!! j/k but....that is the way he makes it sound!!!

If and when Lee wants to come back and attempt a conversation---I will not avoid him or his threads---but neither will I agree to some of his outreagous statements, without responding.

Sadly the racism your friend faced as a child is still alive and well! The really shameful thing is where I live a good portion of it is caused by our government!! However while I complain about it, I don't have any answers to the problems either. We get what is referred to as reverse racism here---there are hospitals on the reservation, that we may be in a horrible accident in the parking lot, but they will not treat us. There are employment ads in our paper, they will say Equal Opportunity employer, and at the tail end of the ad, it will say Navajo hiring preference. It is racism all the same, nothing reverse about it, it is a sad fact we have to live with. On the other hand the natives get poor treatment in many stores. And due to repo laws not being able to be enforced on the reservation without approval from the tribal council, we ALL pay an outreageous amount for vehicles etc. It is horrible, we all live together...so why can't we just live together!

Anyway green, I'll try to keep your thoughts on this in mind when and if I deal with Lee again.

Kat

[green 6]

Thanx, kat817. I love R&R. We really get a chance to trade ideas and life experiences, don't we? And yet we manage to appreciate and enjoy each other. This is the best, I think! I am probably going to ask you questions about Aboriginal issues, eh. :confused: Hope you don't mind.

[PAPITORO 0]

RESPONSE TO LEE4 / RE: BLACK & WHITE QUESTION.<p>Say, My Friend.....as A Full Grown Man , Married And Raised By Good God Fear'in Folks. Seems To Me You Enjoy Sorta "throwing A Wrench In The Works Here". Although New Here, I've Found A Group Of Folks That Have Been Banded And Come Here Either To Seek Or Give Advice. So If Your Here To "shock" Folks. You May Need To Seek Another Forum To Do It. These Folks Have Already Been Thru The Trenches . They Have Battled Thier Fears And Fought The Unknowns Of Lapband. Struggled With liquid Diets, Pb's, Uncomfortable sleeping And Enough Gas To Fuel A Major City ! So Please Spare Us , "band" With Us , So You Have Something Relative To Our Forum To Post.</p>

[serious 2]

I had always considered myself to be an african american woman, but about 5 years ago my consciousness was raised, and now I consider myself multicultural; my mother is african american and my father is native american and irish.

Growing up, I was always called half-breed, or told by other african americans that I was "the white girl" because I've always had long wavy hair. I was isolated and teased because of my hair, and did not ever wear it down until I was well into my late 20's. Now, I embrace all of my cultures, because it is who I am, and noone is going to make me feel ashamed.

When I was 4-5 years old, I was sexually abused by a neighborhood candy man, who I now know was a pedaphile. When I was nine, I was molested by a family member. I was raped when I was eighteen. I could go on and on, but I think I've made my point. I am not usually one to divulge so much of my history, but I am just trying to say, I am an adult now, and I have the power. So, I do not tolerate bad behavior from anyone, regardless of their scars. I feel, that given all that I have suffered, if I can move on, surely others can as well. We all have to grow up and move on. I don't make excuses because of my past, and I refuse to be anyone's victim. And, I have learned, black people can be just as prejudiced and mean as any other race. Past bad behavior I have experienced does not mean I can't get beyond it and grow. That is what therapy is for.

[BJean 16]

Green you made some outstanding observations in your previous post.

How in the world can a white Amercian woman, who was raised in an white community with practically no exposure to African Americans, have a clue about what it's like to be a black man in America? The only way I know how to understand, at least a little, is by observation and research. But neither of those two things really allow us to FEEL what it is like.

I know even less about what it is like to be Jewish and experience anti-semitism because I have been around even fewer Jewish people than blacks.

However even though I can't really know what it feels like, I know how ridiculous it is for people to be so bigoted. I think people who are racist are ignorant as hell and consequently they are afraid of what they don't know. There is absolutely no way that the color of a person's skin can tell you what kind of person they are.

As with the plight of American Indians, I doubt if we will ever be able to make up for all the horrible wrongs that have been done to them as well as black and Jewish people in America. Sure, to lose a job to someone because of reverse discrimination seriously sucks. But when you experience it, you just begin to have a tiny clue as to the reason for the governmental policies that endorse reverse discrimination in America.

[BJean 16]

serious: Good for you!!! Great post. We appreciate you sharing some of your wisdom and experiences.

Sure there are people of every race who are bad people. That's why you just cannot prejudge people and write them off before you really know them.

It's already been said here that Lee's remarks remind many of us of a former poster who claimed to be the best and most knowledgeable Christian you could ever meet. After weeks of following his posts and interacting with him at LBT, many of us realized that his heart was not as pure as he claimed. He could be brutal when trying to make a point. Bad people come in all shapes (even fat) and sizes and colors. Good people do too.

[BJean 16]

Mark, you little rascal, you may not be happy but you sure can be funny!! Miss reading your posts. I know there's something cool going on somewhere that I don't know about...maybe I need to go alurking.

[harlito 0]

You people are wound way too tight. It was a simple question but nobody wanted to answer with their opinion, right or wrong. It was on the 3rd page that someone actually answered the question - even though it was in a joking kind of way. Why can't everybody stop being so holier than thou?

I think more white women are marrying black men because it is becoming more socially accepted. I don't think it is completely accepted but better than say 20 or so years ago.

I am sick of race being a topic that is untouchable. Maybe some people believe that if we do not talk about race then racism will not exist? Well, that's just stupid.