Why are so many White Women marrying Black Men?

[BJean 16]

Ouch indeed!

This is fun but I gotta hit the rack. The DH has been asleep for hours now and he's going to want to either take me to Breakfast or fix our Breakfast early in the A.M. Aarrgh!

You'll have to catch us up on how you're doing! I'm thrilled for you that you didn't have the bad gas deferred pain! :whoo: Nite!

[anonemouse 1]

I really think that Lee's just worded some of his comments badly, and given people the wrong impression. Once they get that impression, they read it into every comment he makes, even when it's not deserved. I think that we forget, in many cases, that the written word isn't always the best means of communication. You can't see a person's body language, which really does give us clues to the true meaning of their comments. You can't hear inflections in their voice that could change their meaning. Sometimes, people just aren't great at communicating what they mean with the written word.

[anonemouse 1]

Ouch indeed!

This is fun but I gotta hit the rack. The DH has been asleep for hours now and he's going to want to either take me to breakfast or fix our breakfast early in the A.M. Aarrgh!

You'll have to catch us up on how you're doing! I'm thrilled for you that you didn't have the bad gas deferred pain! Nite!

See you later! I'm going on vacation for a week, starting tomorrow, so don't worry when you don't see me around for a while!

[BJean 16]

Oh yes I completely agree, laurend. There have been many times that when people disagree with something I've said, they seem to read anger and hatefulness into my words when that's not what I'm feeling at all. I'm merely explaining my point. It is always shocking to me when people accuse me of saying things that are not even close to being what I meant.

That used to happen to my sister a lot - even in face to face conversations. She would get so hurt that they accused her of being mean, she wouldn't give them the satisfaction of explaining that she really didn't feel that way. I have wondered if that isn't what's happening with Lee. Sometimes I overuse commas because I am hoping that what I write will be understood better. But you know when people are wanting to think the worst of others, there's not much you can do to change their minds after they're already made up.

I'm really signing off this time. Fun talking with you!

[BJean 16]

Cool! Lucky you. Hope you have a great vacation!! Have fun!

[green 6]

I think Lee4 wants to discuss ideas with the rest of us. His literary style is unconventional and is often difficult to understand.

[Lucy 0]

None of us can crawl into Lee's head and read his thoughts. If he truly just wanted to have a conversation and a little friendly banter, then his intentions were lost on most of us.

In any situation where people are reading your words and not hearing/seeing you, it is your responsibility as the writer to be as clear as possible. If your words offend this many people and that was not your intention, then your writing style is clearly lacking in coherence.

Of course, it's just as easy to write something racist and then turn around and cowardly blame the reader for "misunderstanding" your words after you've been attacked.

Whatever the case may be, if you are unable to rant and rave without coming across as a racist jerk, then maybe you should avoid bringing up topics that will obviously hit a nerve with many of the people who read here.

I'm not suggesting that we censor one another. But a little self-editing never hurt anyone. If you don't want to do that, it's cool with me, but don't get defensive when people start to express their discomfort with your writing.

[Jachut 487]

totally agree Lucy.

I dont know about anyone else but what got me riled and kept me going is the tantrum throwing becuase he's disagreed with. Want to post topics for debate? Yeah, great go ahead, but behave like a freaking adult when you're disagreed with, not like a petulant child. He's done 9/10 of the insulting in these threads because surprise surprise, nobody was that positive that a relationship with a wife from a compeltely different culture that you dont even know bar via the internet would work out. Yes, internet romances sometimes do happen. But 9/10 of the time they dont work.

And if he's so darn illiterate that he cant put his message across without managing to insult nearly every reader (and display his TRUE feelings in the process, which are indeed racist, bigoted and sexist even if his initial posts were not) then maybe he ought stick to face to face conversations in the future.

I've been on the receiving end and misunderstood on line before. But you know what? After initially doing my block and getting mad because nobody could see my point of view, I stepped back, thought about it and realised that maybe I was coming across the wrong way. And I apologised, and agreed to differ with people. This guy has behaved like a complete fool.

[green 6]

Yes, I agree. He could apologise and then try to give another shot at explaining what it is he wants to communicate with us. I do note a certain crankiness....

[princess_n_thep 2]

What???? It is well known that black guys have larger dicks? And shoe size? Where have I been? Geez, and here I married a white guy with a size 8 shoe. I think I got shafted. Pun intended. <br /> <br /> Lighten up people. Don't take all this stuff so seriously. <br /> <br /> BTW,Laurend, you really should be careful about your swift judgments Just my opinion geez I love to stir a pot!

[BJean 16]

Princess: That's hilarious! laurend is not a newbie! She's been here for a really long time. Since early last summer, at least. Just because she was just now able to get her surgery doesn't mean that she's new to participating at LBT. She's on vacation so that's why I'm clearing this up for her.

I've been known to stir the pot from time to time and you're so right... it's lots of fun! That's why I thought that was what Lee was doing. If he's a racist punk, then so be it. But I tend to want to give people the benefit of the doubt until I read something that makes it pretty clear that they have their heads up their butts or they're just mean.

I definitely think Lee is opinionated and I also think many of us here have very little in common with him. He communicates in a different way. He's a single father. He's a veteran. He's new here. He obviously has some thoughts to share that are quite different than what we're used to.

His communicating skills remind me of that right wing guy a while back, whazisname... Corso? Most everyone was very tolerant of him. His thread went on for weeks. Can't we just read and learn from Lee? I mean if he's that disgusting, we will undoubtedly eventually drum him out of the corps (actually it looks like maybe we already have.) :paranoid

[green 6]

I just wonder if we are not being just a little bit elitist because all of us who post on this particular forum are lucky to have unusually fine written communication skills is all.......

[BJean 16]

Good point, Green.

[Kat817 19]

Some of us began this thread with a bad taste in our mouth so to say from another thread Lee began, where he began a topic supposedly to debate...also racial, and then went off on how American women only want what is in his wallet, and was totally unwilling to truly discuss or debate the issue, he actually said as much, telling us he did not care what we thought, he was right.

In that thread he indicated he was considering bringing a bride in from another country, and we tried to point out to him the success lies in the emotion and work put into a relationship, not the color of the brides skin, and he blasted us over it. He did not do it nicely, nor in a manner that led us to believe he was even willing to have a civil conversation about it.

Racism can come from any race, and a closed mind is no way to debate. Neither one of these issues seemed to make a difference to Lee.

I am not even getting into this one with him, just wanted to point out why some long standing LBT'ers boiled over so quickly on this.

I do not always use the right word, and have decided I have a pretty severe case of dyslexia of the fingers, I am always getting off the right row of keys or inverting letters!!! And yes his posts ARE hard to follow, but he is not alone in that issue. There have been other steady posters who have been very challenged literally, but the positive message behind the posts, and the support offered, made you want to look beyond it. Not finding any of that, and the unwillingness to accept another thought, I will admit left me equally unwilling to try to read through the rambling, unorganized posts.

Kat

[Lucy 0]

There is nothing elitist about getting your point across clearly. No one here is asking for correct MLA format or proper punctuation. Although your posts will be easy to read when your grammar is correct, I hardly think spelling and syntax problems are Lee's stumbling block.

George W. Bush is a blubbering idiot but he makes himself loud and clear.

Please do not conflate clarity with snobbery.