Scared to tell boss any ideas?

[short1 2]

I am having the band Aug 15. I am also having hand surgery Aug. 9. I have discussed both surgeries with the HR dept. and have permission to take the time off. The problem is telling my boss. She is a very negative person and gets very very upset when I am not here. I have skirted around the subject of getting my hand fixed and she got pissed. I do not plan to tell anyone here about the lap band (other than the HR lady). They are not supportive. I plan to use the hand surgery as an excuse to be gone. I don't know what I want you all to say, I guess I just needed to tell someone. She is in such a bad mood today I just do not know when a good time would be. She has been slamming doors all day it is making me a nervous wreck. I have enought to think about. Please help:help:

[reeburgdon 0]

I would definitely let her know about the hand surgery. I would not tell her about the band surgery. One because she does have such a negative attitude, Two because it's none of her business. One thing you do need to do is not let her get to you; you need to be in the right frame of mind for surgery and don't need to be upset because someone else is having a tantrum. Do what's right for you and just try to ignore her and her pissy moods.

Let us know how you're doing.

[janiee 0]

I was afraid to tell my boss, but she is really easy to talk to and suprisingly enough she was thrilled for me!!

She keeps calling it a, "Band aid" procedure. Oh well, what ever works:)

[esummersett 0]

None of her business. I didn't tell either of my bosses, just said I was having surgery and left it at that, filled out my FMLA paper work and turned it in. She is not allowed by federal law to ask you or try to find out why you'll be gone. Simply as that, none of her business. Sounds like she's a meany most of the time, so in reality it probably won't make much of a difference. She's gonna be slamming doors if you have surgery or not. Is she overweight, maybe she's having problems with her insurance trying to get them to pay for her lap band, LOL. Don't worry about her, worry about you and think about your new life. Is your boss being made going t stop you from having your surgery? Come on.

[AnnaMC 0]

Your boss does not need to know anything. I would guess that HR has already informed her. I would not put up with that kind of treatment. I would document all the issues that pertain to her and her treatment of you. You can beleive that she is not treating her bosses that way. Good Luck!

[short1 2]

Thanks everyone. I plan to tell her about the hand surgery this week. She will have to get over it. This surgery means a lot to me. I am so glad I can come here for support.

Thanks again,

JP

[faithmd 14]

I did not tell my boss or anyone at work what I was having done. I merely told my boss I was having surgery and I was choosing not to share what was going on with anyone, I told her that to me it was a "private procedure." She could deduce what she wanted from that. She was very supportive and said that anything I needed and if I wanted to discuss anything with her, she'd glady support me.

I chose to tell none of my co-workers, either. One day I was just gone. It is simply no one's business but your own.

[faithmd 14]

I should add that I am an open book about just about everything and share all of my trials and tribulations with my co-workers, so my boss was floored when I told her I was keeping my "surgery" private, but she never asked any more about what I was having surgery on.

[Marimaru 7]

Yeah, you don't need to tell her anything you don't want her to know. In fact, if HR tells her anything, they could be in BIG trouble too.

[aubrie 6]

It's no one's business but your own. You don't owe her any explanation, except that you're taking sick leave. I had a boss once who demanded that I fill out a form stating exactly why I was going to be out on sick leave. She told me it was necessary for my personnel file. Not knowing any better I did, and it was humiliating as it was surgery for "feminine" reasons. The superintendent of schools found out she did that to me and BOY WAS SHE IN TROUBLE!!! Apparently, that information is protected by law. I could have filed suit had I wanted, but hell, the damage was already done. If your boss gets huffy and slams the door for not telling her, slam your door shut and go back to work. Sounds to me like you already have a case for a hostile environment!!

[cquirino 0]

I agree with the majority here, it sounds like she isn't the best of supervisors. And I do understand the point of needing your job...we all need our jobs! But in the end, you have a right to a personal life, and things at the office will go on without us, like it or not. And on the plus side, maybe she will appreciate just how much you do and be kinder to you when you get back!

I do have a different opinion though, on letting people know whats going on. I have let everybody know! It's not a secret that I am fat, and I figure the more people who know how hard I am working the more people I have around me to be supportive! And we can all use a good group of cheerleaders right! That and there is the pride part that won't let me fail if I know I have all those eyes on me! Anyhow, best of luck with everything!

[Lap_dancer 8]

She is your boss but you are not endentured to her. Her method of ruling her employees appears to be by bullying them. That's not something you need right now. It's tough enough just going through life and the obstacles out there for obese people.

If you are open in the sense that you would tell her that you are going to be out then tell her about the hand surgery. Don't expect support.

I always think of people who can't handle it if I take time off...."if I had a car wreck on the way to work today and ended up in the hospital, you'd survive my absence and I you'd still probably complain."

anyway...

You have a right to your medical privacy, you actually have a legal right.

I wouldn't mention the Lap Band surgery. That's your business.

*You don't owe her any explanation of your personal choices*

[short1 2]

Thanks again to all of you. I hope I can repay everyone for their support some day with words of wisdome.

JP

[Big As Life 0]

I wouldn't tell her...and if you have the time to take off, she can't do anything to you....isn't it pitiful how some supervisors act....they think that the world revolves around them...and if they slam enough doors they will be noticed....

[alohajo 1]

I had a bad experience with my work when I took time off. Told my supervisor who then told her friend and I believe almost everyone knows now. I am considering filing a grievance with the union. Just for the principal of it. We should be able to keep things quiet when we choose.