Bummed and angry

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@CrimsonCarousel ... wonderful post. Just wonderful. And some great analogies.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Let me tell you what's fun.

Walking into ANY store and buying an outfit because you love it, not just because it fits, is fun.

Pulling warm jeans out of the dryer, sliding them on and buttoning them easily is fun.

Wearing bright colors and patterns is fun.

Pushing away a plate of food and enjoying conversation is fun.

Hiking, biking, playing frisbee, dancing without getting sweaty and out of breath right away is fun.

Fitting in a roller coaster, an airplane seat, a movie theater chair, down a bus aisle, etc. is fun.

Wearing heels without foot pain is fun.

Getting up without knee pain, back pain or weight gain is fun.

Not feeling guilty about cheating on your diet is fun.

food controlling your life is not fun. Living your life is fun.

That's almost like a beautiful poem

It's all true, and exactly how I feel. I wouldn't trade my new thin self and life for food - there's no comparison.

[Mountaingal 322]

You will earn to eat slowly and take small bites. 1/2 slice of pizza can take a long time to eat and be enjoyed so much in small bites. Enjoyed as you sit there feeling comfy and wearing small clothes. I am just starting to look in the mirror and think I look like a normal/healthy size person and it is so amazing. You will enjoy your new life once you have dealt with the inevitable grieving process. Good luck with your surgery.

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

My hubs and I went out yesterday for a fun-filled day of antique shopping in the country. The weather was a cool 60 degrees, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. We walked for hours and hours. I was able to slip through narrow isles full of expensive, antique glass items, and not jiggle the table, or worry about knocking anything off the table when I walked by. (that's a great feeling, btw) Then we went to the corner cafe in the same small town (known for their fabulous BBQ) and we "shared" a plate of ribs and baked Beans. I had 2 small ribs and a spoonful of the Beans, and he ate the rest. We still had a wonderful day! We both got to enjoy our meal. And, with me having part of his plate, he also didn't overeat. It was a win-win. I was able to enjoy my day, my husband and the experience, and not have constant thoughts of "what do I get to eat", Because, really, I can eat whatever I want. I just don't want so much of it anymore. Best to you!

[Titaniumsleeved2014 42]

Hello, everyone it's been about a month since I last posted when I missed my appointment for to meet with my new surgeon to consult about a revision from the sleeve to the bypass. I have a hiatal hernia, a severe case of GERDS which causes me to vomiting a lot and deal with a painful burning sensation. I'm 16 months out from surgery and my weight loss has been an epic fail. My current surgeon said that the issues I'm having INSIGNIFICANT to him and that he recommends that I have the Gastric Bypass. So I have an appointment with a new surgeon that is 4 hours away from where I stay because he's the only surgeon that accepts my insurance outside of my current surgeon. And I have a feeling that I am going to miss this appointment as well and giving my current situation, I'm pretty sure I won't make another attempt to get help. I'm completely discouraged and disgusted and regret my choice to have the gastric sleeve since I'm still obese, my type 2 diabetes is still out of control, my blood pressure is always high. Now I'm worst off than when I started my weight loss journey..... But good luck with your surgery...

[Dub 9,922]

It's been a hell of a journey to get here, but I am finally three days away from my surgery, but now I'm having second thoughts. Maybe it's cold feet? All I know is that I feel angry. To me food = fun . You know, going out for dinner with friends, having popcorn at the movies etc. I don't feel like I can have fun now bc I can't eat! Does that sound strange? I feel like I'm going to regret the surgery bc I won't be able to have fun anymore! I miss food. I feel like I'm dealing with a break up and I'm sad and angry. Did anyone feel like this before surgery? Do you regret the surgery? Please tell me everything gets better lol

I can say one thing.......you live in a tough area.

I, too, live in this tough area. I'm a two hour drive from almost anywhere in the state of South Carolina.

Why is it tough ? Because South Carolina has the best tasting food in the world. Hands down, no kidding, real deal best tasting food I've ever had.

Best tasting.....but not best-for-us.

Everything that Paula Dean used to cook.....South Carolina's got all that and more and more and more. The good news is that there ARE healthy versions of the state's classics. Paula's son wrote a book, titled something like, "From Momma's Kitchen to Mine" or close to it. He takes her artery clogging recipes and rewrites them in a much lower calorie, healthier way and retains great flavor.

Sweat tea.

Good Lord.....sweet tea. Who in the heck thought to add 19 cups of sugar to a gallon of tea ?????? Local folks, that's who. That stuff is good as heck, too.

I haven't been able to drink it or regular soft drinks for years and years, thankfully. Once I switched over to Splenda & Stevia there is no way I can handle that sugar poison.

Even the cocktails down here are highly caloric. It's like they take a sugary child's drink and then spike it with the most sugary based alcohol. Fortunately there are tons of ways you can enjoy a cocktail or two down in due time that don't involve sugary poison.

Our age old family recipes......another source of death. There isn't a single older family recipe that I grew up with that is healthy. Even the Soup is death in bowl. I'm grateful that my parents adopted very healthy eating and will be here much longer as a result. The Grandmother's and Aunt's recipes, though......taste great....but you'll die young eating them.

Golden Corrals and the like are on every corner. All you can eat death. Now they advertise to-go boxes. What the hell ? All you can eat garbage....with a to-go box thrown in. Our only decision is burial or cremation. For me it was getting to be an easy choice. My prospective pallbearers were all going...."No way, bro. We can't carry yo big arse".

"Those freaks that go to the gym". That is how a close family member described a couple of their friends who'd become health conscious. "Freaks" they became. Sadly, it is true. Not many folks in my family and only one in my wife's entire family go to a gym with any regularity. It's the norm among many families around here. Why go to the gym when we can stay at home and have sweet tea ?

Bojangles. The folks around this site that don't already know about Bojangles have a distinct advantage to the weight loss game. I know for a fact that I've gained hundreds of pounds in my lifetime from the fuel I"ve chosen to eat form Bojangles. Lawd it was like fried crack rock. So good you wanted to slap yo mamma.

Home made ice cream. I don't know if this is a Southern thing or not....but it seams that way. Somehow my dear Grandfather could take something wholesome like peaches or blueberries......and turn them into a semi-frozen treat that was loaded with sugar and fat. It was so good that my cousins and I would sit there an drool while we spelled him cranking the handle on the ice cream maker. Drooling like the little addicts we were.

Fried chicken. My Grandmother could fry chicken that would have me eating the bones and all it was so damn good. I can still remember seeing her adding salt into the batter bag.........

Homemade pickles. My Grandfather used to make watermelon rind pickles that folks begged for all year long. "When are you going to make another batch, J.D. ?". No kid should like pickles as much as I did. It's because he loaded them with sugar.

Seafood. Only around here can we take an inherently healthy food and go screw it up in the name of flavor. Broiled grouper is great......but fried grouper is something else entirely. Flavor for days. her battered catfish.....oh yeah....almost every week. Shrimp 'n grits...........death, death, double death.

I"m sure every region has it's share of culinary pitfalls....I'm just familiar with the local versions. Way too familiar

Guess what ? All that above are the sins of other people and don't have to be ours. We can have fun through other means than poisoning ourselves just because our ancestors and locale restauranteurs want us to. There is a new theme that is going on in restaurants......virtually every local one, too.....a healthy theme. Bariatric friendly meals can be had anywhere Breakfast, lunch and dinner.< /p>

The grocery store even has easy microwave bariatric friendly meals in the freezer sections. Convenience can be had.

There is nothing fun about food addiction. By definition food ceased being fun is a source of pain, self loathing, resentment, etc.

By taking charge and losing the weight you want to lose and living in control you will be able to once again have fun with food. You'll have zero guilt. You'll enjoy the preparation and the partaking. Many new healthy recipes await you. The spice world caters to us now more than ever......sugar free......sodium free.........wonderful tasting spices.

We'll be able to get it right. We'll be able to teach our kids a healthier way and they will do it without thought.

Imagine how much fun you can have when you are living at your goal weight. Mobility up. Pain down. Looming health issues averted.

Imagine how much more appealing you'll find shopping for clothes and how great it will feel to wear the clothes that you've always wanted to wear but were not able to.

You are just a couple days away from the rest of your life. Think about how much longer and more fun this life will be at goal weight.

You've got this !!!!!!!!!!

[wannaBthinsoon 1,634]

@@Dub You, sir are a poet, and my new hero. Well said.

[Dub 9,922]

@@Dub You, sir are a poet, and my new hero. Well said.

Thank you. My spelling sucks and spellcheck software seemed to be toggled off when I typed the above post.

I'm not kidding about the local food. South Carolina has it all and they pride themselves in killing you one bite at a time.

No offense South Carolinians, please. I only poke at you. I mainly grew up in North Carolina and now live in Georgia.

At least I didn't get started on 'nanna puddin'.

Kool aid didn't kill me as a kid........all my favorite foods didn't kill me as an adult........I was fortunate.

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

For entertainment value, I love reading "Historical cookbooks ", and yes some of my favorites have been based on southern cooking. I love reading about history of the recipe, the who, what and why of how it became a family favorite. I start drooling over descriptions of huge country breakfasts, lots of buttermilk fried chicken, hot homemade biscuits loaded with butter, and almost any dessert, chocolate or otherwise . I could almost lick the picture, the descriptions are that good ! My all time favorite cookbook ? My Mothers Southern Kitchen by James Villas and his late mother Martha Pearl Villas. I checked it out so many times at the library that when I found it for $3.00 at a book sale, I couldn't pass it up ! So Dub, and all the others Southerners, I totally get where you're coming from foodwise. If im ever reincarnated, im going to come back as a southern food critic ! No. Lie.

[catwoman7 11,212]

I still go out to eat (not as much as before, but i still do). I now order a cup of Soup or an appetizer, and I'm fine with that. Never thought I'd be satisfied with that, but I am....

[MichiganChic 3,262]

@@Dub You, sir are a poet, and my new hero. Well said.

Thank you. My spelling sucks and spellcheck software seemed to be toggled off when I typed the above post.

I'm not kidding about the local food. South Carolina has it all and they pride themselves in killing you one bite at a time.

No offense South Carolinians, please. I only poke at you. I mainly grew up in North Carolina and now live in Georgia.

At least I didn't get started on 'nanna puddin'.

Kool aid didn't kill me as a kid........all my favorite foods didn't kill me as an adult........I was fortunate.

Maybe there's hope for me yet.

I made a big ole banana pudding last weekend...to go with chicken and dumplings!! I was born and raised in Michigan, but my grandparents were from the south. My granny had me in the kitchen from the time I was 2, making all those things you describe.

There is SO MUCH wrapped in food. I am the one to carry on the tradition of over feeding the family with big southern meals. My grandmother died last weekend at 94, and the family gathered at my house to remember her, which is why I was making all that stuff. I don't do it often, but I'm glad I know how. It is our family's heritage.

So, when we have to "go on a diet" and make permanent life style changes, that's why it's so hard. It's not just habit. For most of us, it's wrapped into the core of our beings. I am living proof it can be done. I love to cook and feed people and eat, and I've found a way to still be successful. Funny, both of my grandparents ate like that always, and neither of them was overweight and lived to be old.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Preach it, people!

I grew up in Mississippi.

Say no more.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Dub - I was born at Shaw AFB in SC and despite some time in San Diego, completed HS and College in NC, and for those who do no believe (or conceive) that anyone in their right mind would add 19 cups of sugar to a gallon of tea...well they can. (you know when you have it right when the spoon doesn't rest on the side of the glass).

However I can express with certainty that there are equally unbelievable unhealthy foods everywhere. I'm just glad that I no longer partake.

[Dub 9,922]

The surgery is a paradigm shift for many of us, I suppose.

My passion to grill and cook for my family is still very strong. There is just a much improved menu that I'll be working with.

My Grandfathers were both very lean and athletic men. I suspect that their gin & whiskey must have cut through the artery killing stuff my Grandmas cooked. ????

I'm grateful that my generation knows better and I'm really proud my son is lean and healthy.

My nephew and my three nieces are each very active, involved in sports and dance and each like my son.....lean and trim.

I know they each were never introduced to the Kool Aid monster or Capri Suns or any more of that garbage. No sugar Water.

They all grew up eating and drinking healthy stuff and make their own choices.

I feel really good about them in terms of healthy weight and healthy lungs.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Dub - Take heart, I had my son and four of his college buddies over at my house to watch football Saturday and I grilled up one heck of a spread and they even liked my re-fried bean dip with Greek yogurt. So life is great albeit in smaller quantities.