My life's next great chapter.

[Miracle 27]

I have been 'writing' my life's journey for a little over 47 years. Early this year (2015) I finally admitted to myself that I need help to get to a healthy me. I'm 5' 4" and 225 pounds, I just called myself thick and sexy. Truth is I have been the least healthy in the past 8 years than in my entire life.

I am a married mother of 3 or 4 (31, 24 and 19 yr old children and a 22-month old Chiweenie). Retired USAF, after 24 yrs (1987-2011). I, like most on this journey, put everything and everyone before myself.

Since my Mother's passing, in 2006 (she was only 57 and passed from obesity-related complications), I have totally lost the focus and drive that kept me moving forward. My life came to, what felt like, a screeching halt. My health plummeted ... Migraines, sciatica, Fibromyalgia, Nueropathy, anxiety, depression you name it, i had it. Narcotics and epidurals for physical pain, antidepressants, alcohol and food for the pain one cannot see.

I was not aware that once forward momentum halts, all those life issues that one had so far 'successfully' out run (and not properly dealt with) catch up with a fury. Don't get me wrong, my life is no more difficult nor easier than anyone else's. But this post, unlike anything else in my life, is just about me.

My feelings about myself (which were always positive) began to take a negative direction. So when I realized I was avoiding photos, social media and sometimes reality itself I decided to deal with my issues and stop running in place.

Luckily, my earlier life decisions (USAF) allowed me to easily access the medical and mental health assistance that I desperately needed and still use today. My decision to have gastric bypass surgery was all mine. No one else, in my life, (well maybe my Dr) even thought I was 'overweight.' I'm Puerto Rican - and culturally, we tend to accept thickness with age. (See, I still call it anything but 'obesity!)

When I asked my Dr for the referral (April 2015) he was all for it. When I finally received the insurance approval, in August, I sat there with my mouth wide opened as I read the document that brought it all home for me. There were two words on that document that stood out as if the font size were different, in bold, underlined and followed with many exclamation points although that was not the case. 'Morbidly Obese'

As the oldest living female in my family (at 47 yrs old), I was following in the same footsteps as all the strong, wise, loved (albeit unhealthy) women who died way before their time. That's when I knew I had certainly made the best decision for myself and my family.

My 24 yr old got married last year (2014) after graduating college and moved away with her Army husband. My 31 yr old got engaged and moved away less than a month later. He just married earlier this month and blessed my life with news of my first grandchild due in Spring next year.

My 19 yr old realizes how good he has it and will need to be put out of our home by brute force. (That goes for my Chiweenie too!) My husband is 6' 4" and loves me 'no matter what' he just repeatedly tells me, "You'd better not die on me! I couldn't take it."

All of them are reason enough for my decision to have this surgery in 2 days. But the truth is, I am having this surgery for me. My health, my life, my happiness and of course my life's next great chapter.

[Dub 9,922]

Well......you've thought it through and made your decision.

You seem to be committed to the process and have a great support staff.

I think you'll be successful and want have to dance around saying the word "obese" ever again.

You'll kick butt and feel twenty years younger by your next birthday, I'll bet.

[dancingqueene 182]

Thank you for sharing your journey with us!!! Wishing you the very best!!!! Keep us posted!!!

[Djmohr 6,965]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I think we can all relate in more than one way.

I just wanted to say congratulations on your decision to get healthy for yourself! I can say it is the absolute best thing I have ever done for myself and I thank goodness every day that there is such a great medical profession. That helps us through the process.

I too lost my mother to obesity related disease. She was 66 and I miss her dearly. I promised myself I would not put my husband and children through the same thing.

Good luck to you and please keep us posted on your progress!

[Learningtolive 109]

Congrats on your decision, and I'm glad you're finally thinking about you! Very well deserved. Good luck and keep us updated!

[The Candidate 3,215]

You've taken a very introspective route to weight loss surgery, and I think you'll be a better person for it. You might be the "oldest living" at 47 but I have a feeling you'll be setting that record on fire with a very long and healthy life ahead of you. Congrats!

[Miracle 27]

I came home from the hospital yesterday. I did exactly as I was told, walked as soon as possible as much as possible. I drank my drinks, chewed my ice chips and went to the rest room as soon as able and then often after that. One thing I was not prepared for was the pain. When I woke from surgery they told me I was yelling and screaming because of the pain I was in. I must admit I don't recall that, but I was told the anastasia might be the reason I don't recall. But I do recall the pain. The medication they had me on was great and at my control with my pain button. I believe it was some sort of morphine. My pain subsided and loopiness set in. I would find myself trying to remove my IV for no reason. So I had to find a happy medium with the drugs, and I did. So came home and am pretty much stuck in my room for a few days since we have. 15 steps to get to the downstairs. I don't mind right now because this will help me heal quicker. The husband is my caregiver and he's giving this role all the attention and respect he can muster. He's doing a great job. Day 3 - on mushy foods, but still not hungry. I'm going to have to figure this out. Take care!

[dancingqueene 182]

I had surgery yesterday and I can say the pain is unreal!' My MD doesn't use any pain meds except extra strength Tylenol!! Ugh

[Miracle 27]

Hay dancingqueen, I realize it's best to focus on the positive, but seriously, no mention of post op pain makes one think there shouldn't be any, or no more than worth a text. This pain is worth mentioning, and I feel for you if your doc isn't prescribing pain meds, cause I just can't 'tough it out' right now, with everything else we have to 'tough it out' through. Hopefully, it will subside soon enough. Take care and I hope you have a speedy recovery.

[wlockwood 0]

That is really rough. I can't imagine your Dr. being so inconsiderate as to not to prescribe you any pain meds. I have cut mine back but that has been my choice and the Dr. gave me that option. Today is day three and I'm trying to go on without my meds. The less meds the faster we heal.