Doctor said "stop losing."

[bellabloom 2,467]

...

This is my face. I'm not ready to stop losing!!! I feel like a kid who is getting her favorite toy taken away. I LOVE losing. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel safe and productive. If I'm going down, I'm not going up right? Right??? Sigh.

My doctor told me today I'm the Ally Mcbeal of wls patients. That my weight is already 15 below ideal. That his tanita scale wants me to gain 10 pounds. That I have virtually no fat left at 19% body fat and I'm all muscle. He doesn't want me to lose any more weight. Not even a pound.

Poooooooooo

Felt like I was bargaining. "Cmoooooon just 3 more little pounds! Please, cmooooon!"

Hahaha. I don't know if I should be thrilled to have the success I do or be worried about myself. Honestly it's a lot harder than I thought to give up active loss. It's like a security blanket.

My doctor said I'm currently a very healthy, verrrrrry slender woman. If I stay this weight for the rest of my life, perfect. If I lose anymore I'm going to look sunken, but right now I look healthy and just very thin.

He's right I know. It's time to stop. It's hard to figure out calories now. He told me my bmr is 1335 calories. I think if I eat that much I'll continue to lose. He said I would gain if I ate more and I'm just shaking my head because I'm eating 1700 and still losing. I'm nervous all of a sudden ill gain. Wish I knew the magic number to eat. Just trying to take it one day at a time.

[Healthy_life2 8,324]

@@bellabloom

Welcome to maintenance phase! Be thrilled about your success.You earned it!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Read this very recent NYTimes article. I think it applies to you and to some others here.

Per your post above (and others you've made), losing weight has become a habit for you--and one that gives you great satisfaction. Per the NYTimes article the restrictive eating associate with anorexia is now viewed as a habit.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/13/health/extreme-dieting-of-anorexia-may-be-entrenched-habit-study-finds.html?_r=0

[Tssiemer1 549]

I'm not sure she's anorexic. But I mean she looks GREAT!!

Are you sure losing is not an obsession? Or maybe an outlet for something you're missing in your life. I've read some of your other posts. Have you tried counseling?

I think you look great like I said but losing too much weight can be just as unhealthy as too much weight.

Just listen to your body.

[Tssiemer1 549]

Btw I hope to look a quarter as good as the way you do after my surgery.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

"Listen to your body" is not altogether reliable advice -- when "listening to my body" made me obese and "listening to your body" may also lead to anorexia.

[Elode 8,093]

If you are truly eating 1700 calories a day you're not anorexic.....you may have a tape worm but not anorexic. Hell, I only get in 800-1000 I'm anorexic! Ha! No I'm really not!

[Dub 9,922]

Well......you just slid into home plate and scored a grand slam homer !!!!

You have arrived.

You've been going full bore ahead and now comes a tricky part......getting dialed in on maintenance.

You have truly kicked ass and changed your life. Now it's time to slow the descent and hover.

I suspect that will involve a lot of trial and error....getting dialed in.

It is inspiring to see someone achieve what you have achieved. Seeing you stabilize and stay there will be really impressive, too. Amazing progress. Looking forward to seeing your strategy and future success.

[Babbs 14,681]

@@VSGAnn2014

Great article.

@@Tssiemer1

You said you're not sure she's anorexic, then went on to ask her about obsession and losing as an outlet for something missing in her life. That IS anorexia.

Anorexia isn't about vanity. It's about control. The person feels their life is out of control, and this is the ONE thing they have control over, and it makes the feel safe.

At the very least Bellabloom, you have a pattern of posting about fears of weight gain and remaining very slender to a point where it seems to consume you. And anytime someone is consumed by negative thoughts, no matter what they are about, it's time for some intensive therapy to help you overcome them.

The fear you're going through seems normal to a certain extent, because I see it all the time on these forums. But like I said, it seems to be all consuming to you. And that's never healthy.

[skinnyrita 188]

If you are weight training and doing interval training you are way more efficient at calorie burning than most, so 1335 might not be your number. You might really need those extra calories to maintain weight. Don't go by formula go by what works for you. You might need 2000 cals a day if you're hitting the gym hard. Tell us what you're doing, and best of luck????

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Just a personal comment re increasing calories and maintenance ...

It wasn't easy for me to start eating enough calories to stop losing either. It was hard mentally, and it was hard physically. You don't just go from 1200 calories/day to 1700 calories/day overnight. You really do have to work up to it.

And it now seems that my metabolism is much higher than it was when I was obese and moving very little due to pain and depression. Heck, I'm moving so much more these days than I was nearly 100 pounds ago. I probably fidget more, too. But I'm not even close to the "gym rat" activity level (teasing @@bellabloom with that term) that it sounds like she is exercising at.

This month (Month 14 post-op) I lost 2 pounds, compared to last month's 0.6 pound loss. I attribute that to the fact that, as the weather has cooled off, I've been walking more outside for both pleasure and exercise. Therefore, it seems that at my current exercise level 1900 calories/day is closer to what I need to be eating to remain stable.

Who the f**k would have ever thought we would have *this* problem.

LOL!

[bellabloom 2,467]

Am I anorexic. No I am not. Am I on the way there? I don't think so but it's something I do think about.

First off I am in therapy with a counselor who is both a dietician and a specialist in eating disorders. I've been seeing her weekly since before I had surgery, over a year now. This is because I have a long history of an eating disorder. I've struggled with binge eating most of my adult life and also had a stint with bulimia. I've been through intensive inpatient therapy for it and am very aware of my issue and tendencies. I knew going into wls it could become a problem for me, hence therapy.

To be diagnosed as anorexic one has to be 15% below a healthy BMI. I'm not even close. I'm still in a healthy BMI for my height.

I'm aware of how thin I am and that there is a point at which I will become too thin. I personally feel like a few more pounds could come off but I don't intend to drop to an underweight BMI. I do know that I am very thin whereas anorexic people usually don't recognize their thinness.

I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with food and calories to a harmful degree. I am aware of them just like any wls patient and want to make sure I continue to follow a healthy eating plan.

I don't have food rituals and I don't use laxatives or make myself throw up on purpose.

I am eating around 1200-1700 calories a day. That is not what anorexics do! I am trying to eat to maintain my weight within a few pounds.

I'd like to be between 115-120 for my weight which puts me a low normal BMI.

So. Am I anorexic? No I don't think so. Am I aware that this possibility exists if I get to 115 and still don't find it acceptable? Yes I am. One thing that concerns me is how losing weight relieves my stress and makes me feel "safe." Like @@Babbs said, eating disorders are about control and stress management. Yup!!! That's how it does feel for me at least in part. That's an indicator that I may have trouble stopping. I don't think I'll aggressively continue to lose weight but over time it could sneak up on me because I'll be tempted to get the validation of weight loss continually past healthy weight. It is something that makes me feel so good and my rational mind struggles with the urge to see that number getting smaller because yes, it relieves fear and stress.

There is a disconnect happening between me recognizing the size I currently am and the number on the scale. The issue lies in the fear of regaining and the activity that relieves that fear being weight loss.

Everyone who posted has valid points and as you can see I'm not in denial. I realize this is a possibility for myself. That's why I keep posting about it. I'm looking for support from those who have achieved maintenance and dealt on some level with the fears I have.

When I first got on this forum I was surprised how few people seemed to have past diagnosed eating disorders. I would have thought it more common. Especially because bulimia can often result in binge eating and huge weight gains over time. I do feel rather alone with my issues and a little embarrassed. I'm just trying to get support. It will be as difficult for me to end up looking like a skeleton as it was for me to be obese.

Edited October 17, 2015 by bellabloom

[bellabloom 2,467]

Read this very recent NYTimes article. I think it applies to you and to some others here.

Per your post above (and others you've made), losing weight has become a habit for you--and one that gives you great satisfaction. Per the NYTimes article the restrictive eating associate with anorexia is now viewed as a habit.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/13/health/extreme-dieting-of-anorexia-may-be-entrenched-habit-study-finds.html?_r=0

This was a very interesting article I've never thought of it that way but I could see how some forms of anorexia could be more of a habit thing.

[Butterflyhigh 504]

Hi!

Our stats are very similar. I am 5'6", 130lbs, and wear a size 2.

My doctors goal for me was 145. I easily sailed by that. I am their poster child for WLS success. My lowest was 125. I did not look healthy at that weight. Both my nut's told me the same thing..."Stop losing!". They said to stop exercising, start eating carbs, and add bacon to everything.

That was apx. six months ago. I hit 125 lbs and then slowly came up to 130lbs which I think is perfect for me. I still have some people tell me they think adding another 15ish pounds would look better, but I am SO HAPPY with where I am now. Not to mention...it would be ridiculously hard work to gain anymore weight. My body found it's happy spot and 130lbs is where it's stayed. I think I'm at about 1800 calories per day. I don't even track anymore. I just eat good healthy food, do Yoga, and enjoy my life every day thanks to this WLS.

I think it's wonderful that you are working with a therapist knowledgable in eating issues. I believe that a huge part of being succsessful with WLS is the changes we make to our thinking and our psychology.

Don't worry. You are right about where you should be. Just be mindful that you are ready to put the brakes on your weight loss. Shift your thinking toward maintanance. Good Luck to you!!

[talkingmountain 83]

Bellabloom - don't feel alone in having past eating disorders! I'd guess that many of us who seek WLS have binge eating disorder... It's just that the medical world cares if you get too thin, and jumps into action; but if you're too fat, well it's your fault and you just need to eat less. (I'm being sarcastic here).

Since you seem to be losing weight while eating healthily, I'd personally like to know what your food/drink/exercise routine is so that I can learn from your success! If you don't feel comfortable posting details, I hope you'll be willing to pm me (I'm 5'6", 270lb, and scheduled for RNY on 12/28).