Regret surgery

[2016NewMe 61]

to say I never regretted it, I would be lying. Yes there were times that I regretted getting the surgery only because I had felt I took away the one thing I could control and that is what I can eat. I had to get used to giving up some favorite foods and drinking. Looking back I don't regret it but wish I had done it years ago instead of now.

Thank you so much for your advice ????

[2016NewMe 61]

I would definitely address the depression issues well before having surgery. The hormone release many experience post-op may worsen the depression and make recovery more difficult.

You are right i will visit the doctor and mention all this that i feel thanks

[Weighting2BeFree 164]

My mom asks me all the time if I regret it. And my answer has not changed. No. A thousand times no. I have lost 110 lbs since March 18th. My only regret is not doing it when I was younger and didn't have as much to lose. I still have 100 lbs to go but it's possible now. It was hard right after surgery because of all the restrictions but now I'm out I still eat my Protein first and whatever else after. But if a meal comes up I can't do that I enjoy what I'm having because it's only a few ounces. I have more energy than I have ever had. Give yourself a chance to heal. It's amazing on the other side.

[2016NewMe 61]

My mom asks me all the time if I regret it. And my answer has not changed. No. A thousand times no. I have lost 110 lbs since March 18th. My only regret is not doing it when I was younger and didn't have as much to lose. I still have 100 lbs to go but it's possible now. It was hard right after surgery because of all the restrictions but now I'm out I still eat my Protein first and whatever else after. But if a meal comes up I can't do that I enjoy what I'm having because it's only a few ounces. I have more energy than I have ever had. Give yourself a chance to heal. It's amazing on the other side.

Well thank you so so much for this it makes me feel so much better ❤️

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I do not regret it for a second.

I am considerably older than you and so have years of experience dieting and therapy, etc. I had tried everything and knew that if I went on another diet that the weight I would inevitably regain would put me over 600 pounds.

This was a last resort for me and was the best decision for me.

I recommend that you do as much research as you can. As you read, ask questions, and learn more, you will find the right answer for you.

There is a reason the process takes some time.

In the meantime, definitely talk to your PCP about your depression.

[kealot 136]

I regretted it the first week after surgery, but now my biggest regret is that I didn't do it sooner!

[laguerr13 993]

I share the same sentiments as others, Not doing it sooner!!!.

If I ever question the reason, I just revert back to my prior and the feeling is very short lived, sometimes I regret not being able to finish a meal that is excellent, then I think about what got me here and how far I've come and it brings a peaceful feeling over me, the positives outweigh the negatives by a large margin, better sleep, not diabetic, clothes are cheaper, more energy and stamina, etc....... I've never cared for acceptance by others but it seems to be part of the new normal, if that doesn't help you listen to this, I'm 51yo, and I've caused damage and wear and tear to my body and some of it is not reversible, like my shattered left knee and permanent ACL damage, I also am never getting the time back that I lost, hope this helps.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Esmii, I agree with the others about getting help for your depression before you consider surgery. Since you mention March 2016 for surgery, you have time to be better prepared emotionally. You wrote that you've felt depressed for a long time because of your weight (but you haven't said what your weight is), so it's hard to know if it's on its own or if it might be post-partum depression.

Separate from depression, I've been "reading between the lines" of your messages and I would guess that you're not ready to make the decision to have surgery. You feel negative about surgery and it's important to go to it with a positive attitude.

It sounds as though you've heard people who know nothing about surgery say that it's the "easy way." THere is nothing easy about it. People who have surgery lose weight just as anyone else does -- by changing eating habits, food choices and by exercising. THere is no difference. Oh, one thing: We have surgery. That's not easy.

I also get the feeling that your understanding of surgery may be incomplete. It's absolutely necessary to be aware that surgery is not magic. It is only an aid, a tool. As I said above, we must still do all the old-fashioned stuff -- change the way we eat and think of food and execise. Losing weight still is work and success is something to be proud of. Success is worked for and earned; it doesn't fall from the sky like fairy dust.

My suggestion is that you first get help for depression. Take time to decide about surgery, but attend your surgery practice's support group meetings. It helps to stay connected to the surgery world. If you don't attiend, it may be the same as walking away. You're the one who must make a choice about surgery. At the same time, if you don't have it, it should be because you made a conscious, well-considered choice not to have it -- not because you let yourself drift away and forget about it.

As self-pay, you've already spent quite a bit of money. Tell your surgeon now that you want to delay in order to deal with depression. I think the surgeon and NP's will agree it's wise. Let them know that you want to be sure that, when you're ready to continue the process, you won't have to pay for any of the same things again -- that the total price you were quoted at the beginning will stay the same.

You started by saying you feel guilty about spending so much. Losing weight (and keeping it off) is for the rest of your life. At 25, you have a lot of life to look forward to. You want to be able to enjoy it with your family -- your beautiful children, your husband -- and everyone else who loves you. No matter how much the surgery, it's a small price to pay.

I hope I've been clear. My head is fuzzy today because I've been at the computer screen for a long time.

Laurie

Edited October 16, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Weighting2BeFree wrote: "My mom asks me all the time if I regret it."

Weighting2BeFree, I hope I may speak. You didn't ask for responses, but your opening words set something off that I think is important and common enough that it can apply to anyone. Otherwise I'd send you a private note.

If we round off your number, you've lost 100 pounds and your surgery was only seven months ago. You're on a gorgeous, thrilling, fabulous ride. Why would anyone repeatedly ask if we (I'll put it in general terms) have regrets? When people ask, usually it's because they think we do regret or they want us to regret. Their motives are suspect. They may be resentful, envious or jealous of something. No matter what, it's never about us and always about them. People who ask questions like "Do you regret?" need to deal with their own stuff and not put it on anyone else. We'd have good reason to ask them to stop. No one is allowed to block the light from shining on us.

When it's about weight loss, we all know of people who resent or fear our success. Most often they are overweight and fear being left behind in some way. They either don't want to be the only one who is overweight or think we may drop them. A little reassurance may be the solution. It goes hand in hand with a clear statement of friendship and reasonable expectations: "You will always be in my life. I love you. I need to know that you love me and want what is best for me, as I do you. I count on you to encourage and be happy for me as I do you."

Laurie

Edited October 17, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch Laurie, good post, reminds me of this TED talk on shame that was very powerful...https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame?language=en

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@laguerr13 "sometimes I regret not being able to finish a meal that is excellent"

Dude you have to start thinking about the joys of leftovers...it used to be "an excellent meal." But that just made me full and uncomfortable for that night. But when I go out now, it's three excellent meals.

Steak and eggs in the morning is the best.

Edited October 16, 2015 by OKCPirate

[laguerr13 993]

@ Okcpirate, lol I already do that, I don't mind, I think it was hardest on vacation two weeks ago with my wife, we went to an awesome coastal town, Rockport Tx, and over the years I've learned to hit small hole in the wall restaurants that offer comparable meals for a fraction of fancy places, so I had to leave food behind, including Calamari which I hadn't had in over a year, and the Dos XX, and margaritas my wifey had over the course of our trip, I did wet my lips with the Dos XX, it was a tease

[anna9/15 93]

@ i'm almost 4 weeks post-op and i'm going to tell you my experience. When i got home from the hospital i was so upset with myself for doing the surgery and taking the easy way out. That feeling lasted for about a week but then i started to realize that this was not the easy way out. This is just a helpful tool to aid you along your weight loss journey. What messes with you most is the mental aspect of the process and i think once you get over that first hump then it gets smoother and smoother. Your brain needs to get on the same page as your body and once that happens you forget all the icky stuff and you remember why you decided to do this. To live a long healthy life and my main reason, to be healthy for my kids so i can go to their graduation and whatever they may need me for. Good luck and please stay positive.

I am 4 weeks out and feeling regretful..this is harder than i thought..but i pray my brain catches up with thr program

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@laguerr13 - just lost my taste for beer, so no lust there, but last night, I found a very good Ethiopian restaurant in OKC (Queen of Sheba, absolute hole in the wall, but food and story is great), and me and the girlfriend just shared one plate. More than enough for 1.2 stomachs.

[anna9/15 93]

Sleeved a month ago, still in the regret stage becsuse i had a minor hiccup couldnt hold Fluid and food down. ..i would say do your research the good bad and ugly to be prepared i experienced anxiety and depression but like everyone says the dsys get better im patiently waiting on those days