Help - scared

[Shainadelphia 69]

Hi everyone.

I'm 4 weeks post op and am really scared of my behavior.

For the past 3 days I have eaten Cookies or candy. I'm not cleared to eat bread or Pasta for another week and am still eating pureed foods.

I have a binge eating disorder - it's impulsive and dissociated eating. I am in therapy once a week AND working with a eating disorder specialist once a week and I have been for years. I can sit here and write that I PROMISE I won't do it again but when I'm in the situation I can't control myself. Writing this, it sounds so passive - of COURSE I should be able to control myself - who else is in control if not me? And this is why I'm scared.

The NUT associated with my surgeon is basically non existent so I found someone near by that works with bariatric patients and I see her on Tuesday. I hope she can knock some sense into me, but I can't believe I'm sabotaging my efforts like this.

I want to lose weight SOOOO badly. I'm so scared of what I'm doing to my new stomach and I'm scared I'm going to gain back the 30 pounds I've already lost.

I feel so helpless. Like all of us, I've tried every diet, everything. And this was a last resort and I'm failing at this as well.

Any (kindly worded) advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so sorry to hear you are struggling. Normally, uncontrolled bingeing is bad enough, but so soon after surgery it is particularly dangerous.

My first question is are you getting in all your Protein and Water? When I was in my first weeks and months post-surgery, I was sipping something almost constantly in order to get in all my Protein and fluids. I can't even imagine having room for Cookies or candy.< /p>

Why do you have Cookies and candy in your house? I suggest that since you know you will eat them if they are available that you get rid of anything that you cannot resist. And don't bring them in the house again. Only keep the food that is allowed on your food plan in your house.

Recovering from food addiction is very hard but you have got to address it if you want to be healthy.

Can you move your appointment up? Or, at least call and have a phone appointment?

Have you considered finding a support group like OA? There are meeting lists (both phone and in person), podcasts, and other support materials on their website. Www.oa.org.

You are going to have to find something else to do with your hands when you feel the urge to eat off of your plan.

There is lots of advice on this website.

Best of luck with your journey.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

I agree with @@Inner Surfer Girl clear your house out of bad food, try and move your appointment up and reach out for counseling. Addictions are hard, it's okay to need help.

[Shainadelphia 69]

Inner surfer girl-

Your replies are always so thoughtful and full of good advice. Thank you.

Just to clear this up- I never have "bad" foods in my house. However, I live in New York City where every other store is a bakery or deli filled with candy and since I walk everywhere it's very easy to just pop into a store.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Thanks!

Try carrying a Water bottle everywhere. That will keep at least on hand full so it will be a little harder to "spontaneously" walk into a shop and buy something you don't need and put it in your mouth.

If you do find yourself in a shop is there something else you could buy that is non-edible? You are too early in your program or I would suggest that if you must get something to eat that you get something healthy to snack on instead (like sunflower seeds or a fresh piece of fruit). That will come later. Maybe see if they have Protein shakes where you like to stop.

It's hard to graze when your hands are full. See if you can find something else to carry and/or do with your hands. If I am at home in front of the TV, I try to do something like knit or color. Maybe carry a camera and take pictures as you walk through the streets.

I am sure others' have some suggestions.