Tired of being judged and questioned (Low BMI)

[Cutepretty1 121]

After attending the nutrition class a woman siting across from me said "I've been looking at you the whole time you are small why are you getting the procedure". I responded and said "it is a personal decision". Then the lady next too me asked "have you had your psych evaluation" I said "yes" then she asked "what did he say". I responded "nothing but I don't think no one's decision can trump the surgeon's". I am so upset and no one knows my struggle. I am tired of people placing judgment and questioning my decision with the procedure. I am so disappointed and really need some support right about now just because I don't look like I have a BMI of 36.6 I do based upon my height and weight.

[Elode 8,093]

First of all ask yourself why you would even give a rats a** what two strangers have to say? Who cares! People are always giving their two cents about grown folks lives! No, one ones knows your life struggle and you don't know why they are so dang nosey! You're obviously doing what you feel is best. Keep it movin sister!

[kempermorris 144]

Hang in there & stay the course. I hope you find the support you need. This forum is great for that. When it's all said & done it'll be the best decision you've ever made. It'll change your life. You'll feel better, look better, & live longer. You'll have a new outlook on life. You'll change your eating habits. Your new motto will be I eat to live, Not I live to eat. Buying new clothes will be fun. If you're on medications you'll probably get off of them. There is nothing but Good Times ahead for you. DO NOT let negative & pessimistic people bring you down. YOU ARE ABOUT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE IN A BIG WAY!!. I'm 10 months post open & have lost 150 lbs so far. 80 more to go and I feel fantastic. No more insulin shots for me. No more sleep apnea for me. No more 10 prescriptions daily for me. Buying clothes is fun again. Get to sit in booths at restaurants instead of tables. Fit in airline seats again. Heart rate & blood pressure perfect. Cholesterol perfect. LET NOONE BRING YOU DOWN. YOU GOT THIS. GOOD LUCK!!

[Cutepretty1 121]

Thank you both!!!! I'm not sure why their words bothered me today maybe it's because I'm tired of the individuals (strangers) that I encounter at my doctor visits say "I though you were post-op or why are you here". I really try to refrain from the interaction to avoid the stares or questions but I understand everybody is excited about their journey and want to share their experiences. Thank you both and you are correct I should not let the lack of knowledge by others discourage me or care what they think.

Edited October 13, 2015 by Cutepretty1

[Cutepretty1 121]

What is a mark solved? I tried to vote that I liked both of your comments but received a strange response. I thank both of you for your words of encouragement I did get some strength from them to move forward.

[Elode 8,093]

@Cutepretty1ive never seen that before either....weird.

[Babbs 14,681]

Just tell them that a 36 BMI is still considered obese. People thinking obese people look too "small" for surgery just proves how we have gotten so fat as a society, nobody even knows what a healthy, normal weight looks like anymore!

Just stay the course and don't listen to those who feel they have to inject their opinion about your health care. Good luck!

[Hello new me 153]

I posted something similar when I went to my pre-op class. I had the same stares and questions. One person even asked me how much I had lost since my surgery in the waiting room of the MD office. I started at a similar BMI as you (37). However, this is the best decision that I have made for myself. I am already down 40lbs in my couple of month journey. I am happier now then I have been in a long while. I have already had many weight lose victories (hitting below 200) and non scale victories (fitting in airline seats, stadium seats, and overall energy increase when doing activities) that it is all worth it. Don't let them get to you. This is something you are doing to make you a healthier lighter you. From my perspective even with the low post-op, it it has defiantly been worth the journey. Keep your head up and your eye on the prize!

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Pre-op I weighed 235 on a 5"4" frame and had many morbidities and my spine was collapsing from the excess weight. My BMI was 40.1. My waist was 53". When I went for my pre-op EKG, the tech said that she thought I wasn't big enough for bariatric surgery. I told her to call my doctor and tell him that she disagrees with his diagnosis. That shut her up!

[Cutepretty1 121]

Yes you sure did!!! I am glad to know that you succeded and conquered. I am weight loss resistant and I have put forth the effort to lose the weight. I am so glad I found this forum and individuals who are/were on a similar journey. That goes a long way in helping me feel good, stay encouraged, and looking forward to achieving success.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

What is a mark solved? I tried to vote that I liked both of your comments but received a strange response. I thank both of you for your words of encouragement I did get some strength from them to move forward.

I fixed it.

[Cutepretty1 121]

Pre-op I weighed 235 on a 5"4" frame and had many morbidities and my spine was collapsing from the excess weight. My BMI was 40.1. My waist was 53". When I went for my pre-op EKG, the tech said that she thought I wasn't big enough for bariatric surgery. I told her to call my doctor and tell him that she disagrees with his diagnosis. That shut her up!

lol...I'm using that line

[samuelsmom 670]

When I read your post- my first thought was, "I wish I had that problem!" Lol. I think that people tend to share more and ask questions that they wouldn't ask in other situations. I know during one support group session I was chatting with a woman who I thought had met her goal and she was one week post-op! I was so shocked, I blurted that out. Fortunately, she was flattered that I thought she was at goal and we had a great conversation about what the surgery meant to her and why she had pursued it at a lower BMI.

You are fortunate to go into surgery with less weight to lose than most people here. Keep your chin up and enjoy the ride!

[dalaneys_mommy 13]

I too got that question .. 5'3" 195 lbs... My response was I'm not healthy at this weight and I know what the future holds for me with my food addiction. If I don't get the tool to help with my problem I will be morbidly obese in no time. And when it comes down to it, really it's no ones business

[queencity 62]

I went to a group preop class Tuesday and noticed 2 ladies that i didnt think we fat but i was excisted as much as they were. I see it as any surgery, if someone tells me that they want to get a nose job, i wont tel them not to. It is their decision and if they dont like the way the look then feel free to get any surgery you want. I know wls is different but many people get different surgeries that are not necessary for health but for appearance.