OutsideMatchInside 10,166 Posted October 20, 2015 I said I wasn't going to date until next sumer or fall, but I made an OKCupid profile. It has been interesting. I'm really glad to know there are all these proud Dads out here, but I don't want to date one. So many guys in their 40s with little kids. As I weed them all out I might find someone decent by Nov 2016 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dancingqueene 182 Posted October 20, 2015 @OKCPirate... He & I have developed a nice friendship & dating routine so far. I'm not getting hopes up for a lifetime commitment etc as I know this surgery will bring so many changes & emotions. But he's so supportive ( he had a close friend go thru it) and right now things work nicely for what we both need I'm blessed with amazing guy friends and all their support. As they constantly tell me they support me but don't see why I'm doing it. Lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bellabloom 2,467 Posted October 21, 2015 (edited) I did something pretty wild today. A cute guy sat down next to at a restaurant. We were both eating alone so I struck up a conversation. OMG!! And we hit it off so I just offered him my number!!! OMG I cannot believe my huge balls. I have never done that in my whole life!!! Hahahahah!! I'm awesome. Eeeeeeek!!! Edited October 21, 2015 by bellabloom Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OKCPirate 5,323 Posted October 21, 2015 @@bellabloom - excellent work and congrats. I ran across one guy's dating advice site, and while I think he's a cad who is real interest seems to be limited at using women for sex, he had an interesting tip...make it your goal to make 20-25 interactions with women a day. Record the results. Over time you gain more confidence. I think this applies to both sexes. As an extroverted introvert (I keep trying to explain that I'm introverted because I regain my energy by wanting to be alone, not in a group), I can't help but meet people on a plane, event etc. Does everyone of those encounters change my life? Nope. But those one or two out of hundreds can make all the difference in the world. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CowgirlJane 14,260 Posted October 21, 2015 You go girl! This is a huge step forward! About a year ago, I came out from having a snack with my gfriend after a ride to find some dude snooping around my horse trailer in the parking lot. At first I was thinking negative thoughts... but he clearly knew something about horses so I decided to be brave like you and strike up a conversation! So, we started talking. He had a truck with a boat on a trailer and a pal that was fixing some kind of wound. The pal was hilarous - it was like remarks from the peanut gallery... he would at random yell out things like... "he's single" "he has a whole barn with no horses in it" "you are really hot" Anyway, at the end of our chat I screwed up the courage to say "I'd like to talk some more" which prompted him to ask for my phone number. We dated for about 4 months... sadly it didn't last but it was the first time that I kinda realized that I CAN DO THE CHOOSING TOO, NOT WAIT TO BE CHOSEN. I learned something big from that experience. I often ignore/avoid eye contact with men who are interested in me. Dammit, a year later and i still do that! I have a renewed committment to making eye contact and smiling at men that interest me! Guys sometimes need a little sign of encouragement.... Last summer i met some guy at a dance lesson, I was practicing my assertive yet feminine wiles and gave him my number, and my first name and like 5 months later he finds me on Facebook. I had actually written him off / forgotten about him, but he hadn't forgotten about me. Best advice from an older gfriend - don't wait to be picked, pick the good ones. It is still a foreign concept, but I am working it. I did something pretty wild today. A cute guy sat down next to at a restaurant. We were both eating alone so I struck up a conversation.OMG!!And we hit it off so I just offered him my number!!! OMG I cannot believe my huge balls.I have never done that in my whole life!!! Hahahahah!! I'm awesome. Eeeeeeek!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CowgirlJane 14,260 Posted October 21, 2015 I can so relate to what you are saying. Honestly, I have NEVER EVER had a man say "no" or reject me - asking to dance, or whatever... and yet... that feeling remains. I hate asking, . I really hate asking, and yet I wonder why more Seattlle men don't grow a pair and ask me! I think I need to practice like your "cad dude" recommends. Seriously, the worst he can say is "no, leave me alone, you old lady..haha" I actually WANT it all - relationship and sex..apparently a tall order. You are an extroverted introvert... while I am prone to being an introverted extrovert. I am totally charged up by being around people.. the very definition of an extrovert. I am also the one that the girls send to talk to some stranger or whatever... but when it comes to me.. well... I can be kinda shy! well, not shy, but ya know... not killing it! @@bellabloom - excellent work and congrats. I ran across one guy's dating advice site, and while I think he's a cad who is real interest seems to be limited at using women for sex, he had an interesting tip...make it your goal to make 20-25 interactions with women a day. Record the results. Over time you gain more confidence. I think this applies to both sexes. As an extroverted introvert (I keep trying to explain that I'm introverted because I regain my energy by wanting to be alone, not in a group), I can't help but meet people on a plane, event etc. Does everyone of those encounters change my life? Nope. But those one or two out of hundreds can make all the difference in the world. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OutsideMatchInside 10,166 Posted October 26, 2015 @@OKCPirate Thanks for the advice on going where the men are. It has worked out great. Met someone and we really clicked. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OKCPirate 5,323 Posted October 26, 2015 Glad it worked for you.???? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dancingqueene 182 Posted October 28, 2015 Well... My guy turned out to be a schmuck!!! Lmao thank god I saw those shark teeth ahead of time!! ???????? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OKCPirate 5,323 Posted October 28, 2015 @@dancingqueene - be thankful. I spend a few weeks with one and realized "oh no, Borderline Personality Disorder Case Study." But check this post out for encouragement: http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/354255-hey-you-out-of-the-dating-pool/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scubav85 110 Posted October 29, 2015 I think I may wait to try to date after I'm fully healed Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dancingqueene 182 Posted October 29, 2015 @Scubav85... I plan to wait as well I had just happened to meet him. I'm ready to date emotionally but it's hard to go on a date and can only drink Water & not eat lol I'm only 7 days post of ???? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
scubav85 110 Posted October 30, 2015 Yeah my surgery is 12 hours from now. I'm ready to date. Been single almost 2 years. I started a bad custody battle with my ex over 2 years ago. .lasted 2 years but it turned out in my favor so I have full custody of my daughter now. I did but l not date during that time. There was too much to the case to be distracted Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
o00 494 Posted November 8, 2015 I said I wasn't going to date until next sumer or fall, but I made an OKCupid profile. It has been interesting. I'm really glad to know there are all these proud Dads out here, but I don't want to date one. So many guys in their 40s with little kids. As I weed them all out I might find someone decent by Nov 2016 I also, don't want to date anyone with kids as I don't have any of my own. However, I did fall for someone who has kids. Now I wish I had not made such a harsh decision because he was really great guy. I missed out on a great person. The reality is at my age almost all come with kids.You live and learn and move on. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OutsideMatchInside 10,166 Posted November 8, 2015 @@dusky goddess I found my unicorn and I am dating a great guy mid 40s with no kids. I'd rather be single than settle for something I don't want and co-parenting is something I have zero interest in. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites