How invested are you in the idea of healthy weight loss?

[Miss Mac 6,262]

I have been on this forum for two years, from August 2013. One thing I like to tell newcomers is to be aware that opinions and tact will vary. Take what you need and throw away the rest. I think for the most part the 80/20 rule applies to the advice on this forum. That is 80% will be valuable and useful information and 20% will be crazy crap from hell.

I can't stand the trollers who stalk this site with commercials for whatever product or device they are selling. There have been a lot lately and a waste of our time.

[Ashlegal 525]

I think a HUGE problem is that a lot of people take on this vigilante idea of "no treats for you, you are a WLS patient!" and "if you can't get over not having ice cream, a little fast food (good menu choices) and treats, you'll fail at losing/keeping the weight off!"

Which is total bogus BS. Having WLS doesn't make you incapable of having food and pleasure combine. Yes, for many people it is a slippery slope but that is an emotional problem that needs to be addressed long before deciding to have WLS.

Knowing why you are eating a treat is the issue. Choosing to have a small 1/2 cup of NSA ice cream doesn't relate to taking a pint of B&J's Cherry Garcia to the couch and chowing down. Unless of course the 1/2 cup of ice cream is a emotional soothing technique brought on by stress, discomfort or sadness. There is a difference and people can learn better emotional support techniques that will allow all foods in moderation.

This is an interesting topic. First, everyone isn't in the same frame of mind. Some people just want to lose by any means necessary. Other people find it to hard to give up the social aspects of eating. Telling people to eat clean and cook for themselves seems to be something that is hard for a lot of people to accept.

Recently there was a thread created by someone 2 weeks out from surgery looking for things to eat. Someone suggested wendy's chili. I said that eating fast good right after surgery isn't a good choice. Someone commented that if they are eating out with their kids, they want to eat something. Okay, Wendy's has salad. No one is going to care if you order iced tea and eat a Protein bar while you kids eat. There are a lot of better choices. It didn't go over well, and I admit I lack in the tender delivery area.

Then there was the ice cream milk shake post surgery thread, that people got huffy in because people dared to say that having ice cream while on the liquids stage isn't a good idea.

Everyone is different and has different ideas about what is healthy, even the medical community is split on it. You can't save everyone, some people are just going to drown in their own ignorance. Everyone also has different needs, cultural backgrounds, medical advice, and social issues. People have to find what works for them.

There is never going to be a consensus on what healthy is. Just worry about your self and don't try to be the WLS Messiah to the masses.

[skinnyrita 188]

Thanks for your input, OutsideMatchinsides, and also for giving good advice to people on this site. I do think it is ridiculous to spend a huge amount of money getting surgery and think we can get away eating the same way we did when we were overweight. Each to his own I guess, but it saddens me to see people about to fall into the same trap again. It's not my mission to save anyone, just to be able to learn from others, to express freely my own journey and share the things that are helping me to achieve my goals.

Thanks to you and others that are the truth tellers, which I don't mind btw. Part of support is being able to hear someone's opinion without breaking them down or being critical. If someone's thinks Wendy's chili and milkshakes are ok, I'm not going to spend much time trying to convince them otherwise. I try to share my own experience hoping others might find it helpful and try to find ways to comment that don't offend, or if it's not constructive, I just don't say anything.

[jess9395 5,449]

I express my opinions but usually in a "this works for me" way, not a "this is what you should do" way. I also listen to what works for others, take some and leave the rest.

I think the question "how invested are you in heathy weight loss" doesn't quite represent the discussion happening here, but that's OK.

I consider myself quite invested in health--healthy weight loss, physical fitness (I run 20+ miles a week and do yoga 3-4 times a week), nutritious unprocessed foods. But I am also about balance, moderation and not setting myself up for failure.

I eat "clean" for the most part 80% of the time or better, but this morning after my half marathon I had a donut! I also ate (and still eat) Wendy's chili early out--I couldn't eat lettuce early out so that wasn't an option. I have a few things I do regularly that don't count as "clean" and I don't avoid GMO food or eat organic, but I do include only healthy whole grains and avoid white sugar, white carbs, etc. I don't eat chemically fake low fat/sugar free/fat free, except in my Greek yogurt on occasion.

So I don't know where that puts me in your scheme of things, but I guess what I think is its not an all or nothing for many of us. I can't get in to that all or nothing thinking, it's not something that works well for me personally long term. Because if it's not ALL I'm a failure and so it must be NOTHING and I give up. That's something I learned in therapy for many areas of my life not just food.< /p>

So... That's where I'm at. Take what you want and leave the rest!

[skinnyrita 188]

Hi Jess9395,

It sounds like you are KillingIt with your running and eating program! Congrats in the successful changes you are making. I'm sorry the discussion topic was misleading, but I truly wanted to know what people are doing, changes they are making that benefit their health aft surgery and at the same time wondering what their experience has been on BP. Moderation in all things is a healthy perspective. I think we all have little departures from our program and to me, that is normal and necessary. I'm no model of perfection and I envy your ability to eat one donut! Krispy Cream and I had a close personal relationship and had to break up because it is like Kryptonite for me????.

I am one of those people who research a lot and have been concerned about GMOs since realizing they were banned in other many other countries. That led me to try to get them out of my diet as much as possible. Anyway, if the choice was Wendy's I have to have a junior burger without the bun. It's gonna happen eventually.

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

Like you, I think many healthy decisions are personal and dearly held. I'm glad you've had a good experience way here. Way to go Vegan! I'd be interested in knowing more about how to do a Vegan approach

I'm vegetarian not vegan. It's not really hard. I eat a lot of greek yogurt, cheese, nuts, Beans and dark green leafy veg. I also supplement with unflavored whey isolate.< /p>

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@skinnyrita ... I don't recall your posts about nutrition or any responses to your posts ... but here is how I think about online forums like this one:

They are open to anyone who wants to express their opinions.

There are many different opinions about how to lose weight, maintain weight, and become healthy post-WLS. And most participants here are pretty inclined to say what they think.

If they agree with you, they'll say so. If they don't, they'll say something else.

And if (?) you were complaining because everyone who responds to your posts doesn't agree with you and say so, that's very surely what will continue to happen because ... it's a message board. And that's what we do on message boards: Express our opinions.

Someone's earlier advice was perfect: Express your own opinions. And don't get bent out of shape when others do the same.

[jess9395 5,449]

Hi Jess9395,

It sounds like you are KillingIt with your running and eating program! Congrats in the successful changes you are making. I'm sorry the discussion topic was misleading, but I truly wanted to know what people are doing, changes they are making that benefit their health aft surgery and at the same time wondering what their experience has been on BP. Moderation in all things is a healthy perspective. I think we all have little departures from our program and to me, that is normal and necessary. I'm no model of perfection and I envy your ability to eat one donut! Krispy Cream and I had a close personal relationship and had to break up because it is like Kryptonite for me????.

I am one of those people who research a lot and have been concerned about GMOs since realizing they were banned in other many other countries. That led me to try to get them out of my diet as much as possible. Anyway, if the choice was Wendy's I have to have a junior burger without the bun. It's gonna happen eventually.

Yes I can do one donut, but don't let me near a bag of chips or a box of cheese it's. We all have our trigger foods! That's why I phrase things as "what works for me."

I've researched GMO's as well and don't find them nearly as scary (we have been genetically modifying food as far back as Gregor Mendel and his peas) as some other things I avoid. Again, we each make our choices.

So, I definitely support people making healthy eating choices, but I don't consider a few less healthy habits problematic either. I also drink coffee daily and don't consider that a slip or a bad choice or a sign of not commuting to healthy eating and weight loss.

[laguerr13 993]

Totally agree Jess, I was on vacation in a small town on the coastline with my wife last weekend to Celebrate our anniversary and her birthday, I took a bite of her dessert on two occasions with no problems and not craving more, but not to be a hypocrite I was a little disappointed that she had a Dos XX the first nite, and a Margarita the second and the whole my mouth was watering, so I have things I absolutely will not go near, the worst being any kind of Energy Drink......

[Sophie74656 1,572]

Personally I have nothing against those who are anti processed food or GMOs...as long as they don't try to push it on me. You do your thing I'll do mind

I eat a lot of canned or frozen food and I'm loosing weight fine. Sine June I've lost about 90 lbs

Whatever works for you is great

[skinnyrita 188]

Thanks everyone for your comments today!

[Sojourner 2,446]

I've been on this site for about 5 months since having VSG in May 2015. I'm glad to say that I'm almost at goal but I have also been trying to make sure the food decisions I make are the most health conscious ones, trying to eliminate processed foods, GMOs, sugar and beginning to really notice a difference in the way I feel and think. Sometimes I seriously am concerned about the recommendations given by individual members which don't seem to have any consideration of the health factor, most are about the same type of approach that has failed in the past for many of us.

One of the challenges of having this mindset is that some members on this site feels very " married" to their approach, especially if it seems to be " working." If I say anything remote,y controversial as far as my opinion, some very subtle and not so subtle comments are generally posted shortly thereafter. Is this really support? Do others feel that they get shot down when they ask a question? Do some here feel entitled to " inform" newcomers about the " best" way to take care of a problem, for instance, a stall? I've had both good and bad experiences here on BP, but I love having the forum and that is why I am inquiring.

Has anybody out there felt that they couldn't say what they wanted to say because it would be attacked by the more Senior members, pertaining to beliefs about health and weight loss?Please share your experiences.

This is an excellent topic to explore...and the points you and some OP's touched on seem to be

Spot on with accuracy. The primary reason so many of the veterans of a few years back are no longer on this site is because there was such angry backlash dished out by some of the members who asked for help or questions, and then would receive angry, sometimes laced with profanity, responses back.

I agree with the majority of what has been posted, and I also make choices to discard thoughts or ideas which I see as not good for me and my approach to weight loss. Black and white, all or nothing thinking is unhealthy and inaccurate. And it has led to some anger on this site.

I always let other posters that this is what has worked for me, other's mileage may vary. We are so individual, no two will have the same experiences through their journey. Understanding that will go far to avoid some of the verbal strife I have read.

I have shaken my head at some of what I have read on here through the years, and moved on. I would hope that others would have the same courtesy. We are basically here for the same reasons...successful and healthy weight loss.

Best wishes to everyone to reach their goals...

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

I, myself, h ave gotten many angry comments, some name calling and some downright nasty messages. When I disagree with someone, I always qualify with an "I statement". I don't tell someone what to do unless I am advising they ask their surgeon or nutritionist.

I always preface my comments with "For me..." or "what I do is..." It doesn't always work though because for those who get so upset, I believe they are posting to get permission to do what they want to do anyway.

There are a lot of you that I really pay close attention to what you say because you have your acts together and some I just shake my head and carry on. Those who speak the unfiltered truth are heroes lol They keep it real and don't hold back any punches.

I am not at my goal weight but I have lost 94 pounds so far and I did my research before having my surgery. I am a pretty smart cookie and have learned more about nutrition through self-teaching than I ever knew my whole life.

The experience here isn't always the most pleasant but that is only 10% of the time. The ones who have such meltdowns are the ones who screw up the averages for success in my opinion. Those I am learning to not try to help as they don't want my help.

Now, for me, I try to eat fresh, non-processed food but of course I am not telling anyone else that is the way they have to do it. However, trying to eat the same as you did before surgery just less of it is insanity. For those in maintenance phases, who are successful, I am sure you are continuing your healthy eating habits you developed while getting to goal weight. Yes, I have had Wendy's chili. I just no longer add the double cheeseburger, large fries and top it off with a large soda or frosty. If I eat the whole small chili my sleeve hurts, so I don't.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

I, myself, h ave gotten many angry comments, some name calling and some downright nasty messages. When I disagree with someone, I always qualify with an "I statement". I don't tell someone what to do unless I am advising they ask their surgeon or nutritionist.

I always preface my comments with "For me..." or "what I do is..." It doesn't always work though because for those who get so upset, I believe they are posting to get permission to do what they want to do anyway.

You've gotten name calling and nasty messages ? Seriously ? For what ? Having a polite different opinion or idea than someone else ? Geesh ! I thought we were all adults here who could share, agree, disagree etc about WLS and everything that goes with it. Name calling has no place here, if someone disagrees with a post, politely disagree, state your own opinion and move on ! Rant over. And by the way Shrinking Peach, congrats on the weight loss so far !! Way to go ! And for thoses with Constipation issues, if you cant get enough Fiber in, drink a cup or 2 of Coconut Water. It will fix your problem in a day ! Good luck to all !!

There are a lot of you that I really pay close attention to what you say because you have your acts together and some I just shake my head and carry on. Those who speak the unfiltered truth are heroes lol They keep it real and don't hold back any punches.

I am not at my goal weight but I have lost 94 pounds so far and I did my research before having my surgery. I am a pretty smart cookie and have learned more about nutrition through self-teaching than I ever knew my whole life.

The experience here isn't always the most pleasant but that is only 10% of the time. The ones who have such meltdowns are the ones who screw up the averages for success in my opinion. Those I am learning to not try to help as they don't want my help.

Now, for me, I try to eat fresh, non-processed food but of course I am not telling anyone else that is the way they have to do it. However, trying to eat the same as you did before surgery just less of it is insanity. For those in maintenance phases, who are successful, I am sure you are continuing your healthy eating habits you developed while getting to goal weight. Yes, I have had Wendy's chili. I just no longer add the double cheeseburger, large fries and top it off with a large soda or frosty. If I eat the whole small chili my sleeve hurts, so I don't.

[Sophie74656 1,572]

that is the nature of the internet. It is for the most part anonymous so it's very easy to get into arguments