Do you think Filipino Women make Good Wives?

[Carlene 12]

It is a myth that any particular culture, religion, race, etc of woman will treat you better - over the long haul - than another. These women (Filipino, Russian, etc) become Americanized VERY quickly and once they do, they can't leave that old subservient wife stuff behind them fast enough.

And if your intended is a lot younger/more attractive than you and you still think she isn't in it for the money, I'd like to talk to you about a bridge I have for sale.

Twenty five year old Barbie dolls do not fall in love with overweight, balding, middle-aged men unless there is a pay day in their future. Sorry, but that's the truth.

If you have several failed marriages in your past, you probably need to work on some issues. Just looking outside your ethnic group for a new relationship won't be the answer. Some counseling might be a good idea before you take that long walk down the aisle again. At any rate, it certainly wouldn't hurt.

Ever heard that song.....Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places?

[Lee4love1 0]

<p>Sorry-you're too late. I have spent the 125 a session(1 session a week) for 14 months. Plus I am not bald and will not be over-weight much longer. Still what makes you think I am just in it to get a better acting Woman. There are things we all want to do in life. I know there will be money involved. Because with any date there is--with any marriage there is. Our American culture is built around that. You can't sell me any bridges and nothing of that sort. I am intended to do what I want to do. The old myths are untrue too. But the thing that remains--two americans getting married have that now 50 to 55% divorce rate. The American-Filipino stats show the 10 to 20%. If that was me betting on something--I'd take that 15 to 20% loss rate anytime.. Last thing--Women who are married to Americanized Asian Women don't always get left behind. If that was true--why are soooo many Men with the same feelings as I do--still go on all of the tours to find a Woman un-american and end up with one. I have seen too many success stories and of course as I said earlier--know the success stories--up front and personal. Maybe somebody has been faking me out for sure then. Maybe the people I know all are liars each time I see them together...That would be black and white...Most of the American-Filipino couples have issues just like we all do. One couple in Particular got into our country for a professional Job. They are both Filipino. Funny story--The Husband of this Woman is Americanized. As soon as he go that way--he divorced her quick as you can say--go-! We have been friends for maybe 6 months now. This Woman has 3 sons and works like crazy. Two Jobs--16 hours a day and seems ot love american Men--particully Black Men. But has no time to date--since she is supporting 3 sons and one in college without a scholarship--so she is paying his entire college fund out of her pockets and her hard work. She is a preofessional Person too. It's a lot of examples of couples who make it. To give everyone the bad side of the story is not the way to go. Can't anyone give up the real good story sometimes? Even in my siyuation as a Army Veteran--I was given the bad stories of how I would be homeless and would be begging for food---because they don't take care of their own. I won't go into details--but I'll say this--many of the kids in my area think my kids have a wealthy dad. It's not true--but I am able to provide for the kids and I am not working...I am not homeless either.I am 23 months Post "Katrina" and I am starting re-buy many of the things I once had. I have been throgh much in this short 50 year life. So you think you and others can deter me or get me down...NO way--the Katrina tragety showed me the mannerisms of many people and many I didn'tlike. I don't even worry as much as I did back in 2005...

[Kat817 19]

Your rambling way of attacking what is being said to you, as well as the refusal to have a discussion of the matter, insisting YOU do no wrong, and all Americans, women in particular are gold diggers, does give one insight into the multiple failed marriages.

Marriage, whether the parties are of the same race or one is purple the other pink, require give and take. It is not a 50-50 proposition, some days one partner gives 100% while the other is doing all they can just to take it. Other days it will even out. In order for it to work this way a couple has to compromise and work things out. If you cannot have a civil conversation, without name calling on a board such as this----why would we be led to believe you have intentions of a loving, caring giving marriage....regardelss of her race, or yours. That is a non issue.

Have you thought of residing in her country to marry her? It sounds as though you are pretty fed up with Americans.

Kat

[Lee4love1 0]

Yes--I rambled--But I didn't say "ALL of the Women" are Gold diggers. I am speaking all about me and the choices I've made. I am into always trying new things in my life. I can say this--I am doing one of the hardest jobs now--taking care of my children on my own.

I can't afford to travel miles and miles to meet"allof the Women who are nice". I live in a small town--14,000 and soon to be bigger. What should I do? Start getting a baby sitter and look near and far for that magical Woman who brings me Joy?

Come on--let's get real. If the Woman is pink, purple and she catches my eye--I am going to go for it. Whatever you say--it won't fly....

[mrspruett 0]

Lee4love1- I don't think there is anything wrong with your finding a certain race physically appealing. That is no different than liking blondes more than redheads! I guess the same would go for a certain culture too. If a lady is raised in a culture where men are treated like kings, then she will probably treat you like a king. However, I agree with Carlene on this one, it will be short lived and she will become Americanized very soon. That is not to say that you and your lady cannot work through this adjustment period. It is just something that you should be prepared for......

I would also have to question the integrity of a woman who would use a man to gain entrance to another country. Make sure there are true feelings for each other in the equation and not just a mutual agreement of "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours". I would also be very careful with my bank account if I were you as I have heard there are a lot of con artists in these types of arrangements. Goodluck to you!

[Kat817 19]

Whatever you say--it won't fly....

Exactly my point----your way or no way. You are unwilling to hear or entertain anyones ideas or thoughts besides your own. No one I know, of any sex, or ethnic backgrounds likes being around people who are know it alls and are close minded. Yes, I said close minded. You can shut your mind to other things besides race!

Many of us have been or are single parents, and yes it is the hardest job you will ever do---it is also the most rewarding. There is no reason you should have to find a babysitter and travel far and wide to meet people---women included. You are currently working to lose weight, take your boys to the park...help coach a baseball team for them--it serves multi-purposes. It is good exercise for not just you but good lessons for your sons. You meet many new people. No the man you coach with may not be your type, but he knows other people...networking...it works for more than finding a job. Attending your childrens school functions will do the same thing---it puts you in contact with people.

I have no issue with your attraction to filipino women. I have an Uncle who married a Japanese woman he met as he volunteered at an English as a Second Language course. He was on disability following being hit by a car, being driven by one of the students at the high school he taught at. So he volunteered to teach this class, and 6 years later he married her. My point being, there are numerous ways you can volunteer. And by doing so it helps others, not just yourself. As a vicitm of Katrina---I am sure you realize the value of volunteers. And when you think about it, wouldn't you want to find a woman who would be like minded about helping others. Even if you don't find one for you, maybe seeing other women work to help others without regard to the thickness of their wallet, would help your outlook towards the gender in general.

But in my own opinion, you are going to have difficulty due to your attitude, not your bank account balance, nor the fact that you have 2 sons.

Kat

[Carlene 12]

So you think you and others can deter me or get me down...NO way--the Katrina tragety showed me the mannerisms of many people and many I didn'tlike.

I don't think anyone is trying to deter you. In fact, I don't believe anyone CAN. As you said yourself, you will do what you want to do. But remember that you did come here looking for input...."Do you think Filipino women make good wives"? Obviously, you were hoping we would be more encouraging, but that's the chance you take when you ask an honest question....people assume that you really want an honest answer.

I only know two men who married foreign women they met through an online marriage broker. One chose a very attractive, very young Russian woman and they lasted about 5 years. The other married a Filipino woman (also much younger than himself) and they are in the process of being divorced as we speak. They have been married about 4 years. Both of these men were disenchanted with American women, but the biggest problem (IMHO) was that these men have unrealistic expectations. I have yet to see a fat old man with a hottie half his age unless there was money involved - and I don't mean the price of dinner and a movie. But that's not to say that buying yourself a trophy wife (or girlfriend) is a bad thing. If it works for both of you, that's great. I think girls who trade creature comfort for affection probably earn every dime. And as for the guys.....well, they get exactly what they paid for - nothing more and nothing less - and I don't have much sympathy for them when the rose colored glasses finally come off. I think if you really wanted to know the true measure of these girls' feelings for you, you would pretend to be a poor, but honest and hard-working, single dad looking for his happy everafter. Tell them you live in the slums, but are hoping to hook up with someone who shares your strong work ethic and thrifty lifestyle. See how many love letters that line gets you, then come back and tell us it's not about the money.

[Lee4love1 0]

I learned an important lesson as a soldier back in the 70's and 80's. A Sargeant Major taught us young soldiers a class once about--"Prior Preparation Prevent Poor Performace'. It has stuck to me like glue--maybe 75 to 80% of my past 26 years. When I set my mind out to do something--I investigate it--I research it and ask for opinions--like I am doing here. Like the "Lap Band Surgery". I did much preparation before 2007. I wanted to know if it benefited me and my 2 sons. Then I found a place that accepted me. The same goes with a Woman who is of Foreign origin. I have talked to many many Filipino's, Chinese, Japanese and some girls of Thailand. I have not only used the internet--I have used my Cell phone, the email and regular Mail. During my weeks gone by--I communicate with a few of them ladies you;re speaking of. I am fully aware of how things change over a set period of time. My mind set is not--"My way or the high way".. It's all about the total freedom of what love offers. I have dated too many Women over the years to know that I can't be "bull-headed" or "Stubborn". A lady has to be a lady and she has a brain too. I want the Woman in my life to express her feelings, offer her opinions on all things that is centered around our lives. If I wanted a Woman who is very much--one sided. I am sorry yo say--I could stay right here and look for the first one who see's me dressed in nice clothes and see's the car I drive. Then I'll know the lady I'll have--money-$$$ signs she'd be dreaming.

I am well equipped with a Blue Cross/Blue Sheild Insurance--I have the family option--since I am a single Father. Adding a wife and a step son--not a big problem. Paying for my plane ticket--to inclue my 2 sons plane tickets is what I have to do. They will not be left anywhere. If I go to Africa, Veitnam, Japan and the Philippines--my boys will go with me. I know that prior to vcoming to the USA--Our government has set up standards that must be followed.She has to have a background check--a physical that is top notch---all paid by me. Then there is her plane ticket that I also will have to pay for. The in my research area's I have done and ever so often--I brief myself to see if anything has changed. I contacted an American Man who lives there. Of course he is in the business of finding us older Men younger Women. But besides talking to him--I am also a part of a website that teaches us Men the ways of the Philippines Culture. I have read the 35 to 40 web pages that take me deep into what they beleive in. I also know that many of the ladies will become americanized to a point. If you ask me--that is what I want her to do--be an american. Why would I want her hding inside scared of going places--with me. I take my kids places at least once a week. I am not talking about the candy store or to Walmart that is 3 miles from my house. We can be found in Memphis--which is about 30 miles away--or you can find us in Arkansas on any given weekend. Of course none of this is free. Last year--we took off on my encouragement to see a friend who lived in South Carolina--again--it was cash for the tank and other needful things. Months before that--I was in Long Island, New York--seeing my family for my Families Reunion. Yes--my kids were both with me. No, I did not stay at Moms house. I rented a hotel that cost me $85 per night--since NYC is quite expensive. Oh yes--I grew up in Brooklyn, New York until age 19. I went into the Army and did experience Germany, Panama, aris and a few other places of interest.

What you are saying of my having to put out money--is not too sad to think of. I had to put out money when my ex-wife needed things. Then I even put up with her spending $300, $500 or more and could not account for her spending spree's.

I also know there will be a long period of adjustment for this Woman who almost 28. The same was true when I was dating a German Woman. I didn't marry the Woman--but our lives were so close to the married types. Her problem was of trying to lock me in the house and she didn't want to leave unless she said so. This was my older Woman in my life--when I was age 35 and she was 47. Oh yes--this lady is not my only Foriegn Lady I'd had encounters with.

With my 13 years of military service and more than half being spend in overseas areas. I payed close attention to what I was doing. I was in a different mind set as all young Men are. I was into--let's get it now and go on with the next day. You've heard of the stories some of the guys may have shared...Oh I was a big part of that--but truly it wasn't right for any Man to treat any Woman like that. Lastly with this long letter. I changed a long time ago. I have people who barely talk to me over my choices. One particular is my dear Mom. She is not thinking of the Woman--per say. She is thinking of her prejudice feelings about anyone that is not "Black". Thank God she lives only 1300 miles away. If it comes down to it--she'll meet who ever I marry and we can always---do what??? Go back home. Is that enough to satisfy how I think and how I am preparing myself???

[lisah25 3]

My SIL is Filipino. She and my brother wrote to each other for about a year(she was in Hong Kong working as a maid and he was here in the states). They spent a week together in Hong Kong, then she came here and they were married 9 years ago.

And I don't think I've ever seen two people more wrong for each other. Their styles are totally different, they don't communicate expect for fighting, and they aren't partners at all. Which breaks my heart for my 5 YO niece.

Keep in mind if you are looking for what you think is a "traditional" Asian woman that the ones who want to leave and come here are less likely to be so.

Bottom line, we are all human. I think it's not the smartest thing to lump people together in groups based on things like country of origion. Getting to REALLY know each other before deciding to make a commitment is so much more important. My brother's problems aren't due to SIL's race, but to who they are as people. If they had a better relationship, it would be due to who they are, not their races.

[green 6]

I have known 2 guys, both white, who have married Filipinas and both of them have wonderful marriages. Both of these guys met and courted their wives here in Canada. I also know a Filipino-Canadian who is in his mid-50s who sent home for a young wife. She was in her early 20s. Well, that marriage didn't last long and it cost him a lot of money, too!

I have worked with a lot of Filipino men over the years and they have been a great bunch of guys to know and to work along side. Most of them are pretty relaxed, laid-back folks with a great sense of humour. They are also generous about sharing tools and job knowledge. I have also met a lot of Filipinas and they are just as nice. The cuisine is great although there are a couple of delicacies which might cause an American or Canadian to go into culture shock.

[Kat817 19]

Your original question was "Do you think Filipino Women make good wives?"

Yes, I think Filipino women, or Mexican, Brittish, Chinese, German, Vietnamese, and many other races of women can make good wives. On the same note though Filipino, Mexican, Brittish, Chinese, German, Vietnamese, and many other races of women can be horrid wives.....and the same goes for husbands, good and bad.

As Lisah pointed out, it is the PERSON not just the persons race to consider. Marriage is so much more, and buying one is a whole new can of worms....and anything involving a marriage broker reeks of that.

Kat

[Sunta 5]

I don't think a person's race in any way determines whether or not they would be a "good" spouse. I don't think the two are related. Imagine asking "do you think a Caucasian man would make a good husband?" How would anyone be able to answer? They would have to say "It depends on the man". Same thing with this question.

[Ariel 1]

It sounds like you have alot of resentment towards women. Perhaps you should seek therapy. All three failed marriages could not have been the womans fault. Don't rush into a 4th marriage until you are sure that you are truly in love with the woman.

[Kat817 19]

Whew!!!!! Sunta & Ariel---I am so glad you two understood what we have been trying to say!

This whole thread makes me think of the old saying about your Mind being like a Parachute, both work best when they are open....

Kat

[areellady 1]

Kat and others, I think that most people totally agree with what you are saying but aren't posting anything because of the most ridiculous replies that you are receiving after you post. CARRY ON TROOPS!!!