Do you think Filipino Women make Good Wives?

[Lee4love1 0]

As I've gotten older and went through some rocky marriages. Yes--I said that with a plural-(3). I am not ashamed and will not give excuses. It was my fault for making choices.

But as I've lived my kife, I've always had a few feelings of dating or marrying an Asian Woman. I know that some people are so up in arms over some of us Men--looking outside of the USA for a wife. But with our divorce rate high and higher in some remote areas. Like the military, Police officers and I could go on.

Yet--I've had some really good talks with a few friends I've met online. Now--I am making long distant phone calls and I do get them back--trust me.

I guess--I want to try something new and exciting. At least I hope it can be exciting. Yes--I've heard this and I've heard that. There is even a new law on the books to slow down the Women from coming to marry us.

I have found out that many of the Women are very good family people. They are somewhat nicer to the husbands. Please don't watch TV--the old movies are not accurate as you think.

I know--many think the Women will do anything Man asks her to do--to include what a Lot of us place as an importtant area--"SEX". Oh well--sometimes that can be true--but isn't it love we want?? Give me your opinion...

:biggrin1::help:

[Jachut 487]

The only good wife is one who wants to marry you. Not one you buy or seek through an agency.

I wouldnt look twice at a mixed race marriage but really, exploiting someone who only wants you as a ticket to a better life is not really a recipe for happiness.

And what is a good wife anyway? If you want obedient, meek and mild then you probably have to do without friendship, love and equality.

[Lee4love1 0]

You are sooo wrong. If keep updated on your laws. A Law about that very thing went into effect "March 16th-2006". In the first month--Over 10,000 marriages were turned down for Visa's to the USA. Many of the Men are sooo upset--oh well. If I have to pay for a wife--then my thought of getting one is over. The law now prohibits that.You're investigated--asked when did you meet--where did you meet? Did you pay for an address and more...That is why so many marriages are turned down. The bill was written into law by Lady Congresswomen--who knew a lot of Men were doing just that. So with this--thought. I am not a business Man or a rich Man. PLus--I know a lot of Filipino Women who live in the states. I was speaking about both subjects. So why would I have to buy a lady who lives 2 miles away?

OK--lets go the marriage and dating ritual here...We meet a Woman--we take her on a date--who pays?

We go on many dates--who pays?

We buy the ring--who pays??

It's about a big lump sum of cash placed on the Man....so let's not lose focus here.

What about a Man who is making--maybe $85,000 a year--but he meets this Woman who only a secretary earning -19,000 to maybe $25,000. Would she be less fortunate and would be trying to make a better life--if she married this Man?

Come on

Come on---get real

[jewel 0]

Hi,

I am married to a Filippino man and I know many Filippino women, many in the states. It's a wonderful community to be involved in. Some areas have more active groups than others.

I have seen situations when men brought women over for marriage that didn't work out. Filippinos can be just as odd as any one else.

My advice is to become acquainted with as many people in this area as possible and active in their social gatherings. Take it slow. You need to build a friendship and get to know someone before you go any further.

Filippinos are generally hard working, intelligent, loving, stable people. You can't go wrong getting to know as many as you can.

Jewel

Dr. Ortiz 9/13/06

218/c163/g145

[Kat817 19]

I think the advice to meet as many people as possible is wise---to limit yourself to one race, or one eye color, or one vocation, is limiting to BOTH of you.

Personally, I too felt that the financial burden was especially heavy on my DH back when we began dating. He ask me out---so yes he paid for the first date. Then we got creative, went on cheap dates, we rented movies, and I cooked dinner---he was in college, and working, we were both raising children...it was a second marriage for each of us. We connected on a level it was something we could discuss---if I could not discuss that with him, did I really have any hope of a serious relationship working???? I thought not. However---we just had a celebration for my parents 50th Anniversary, and both couples that stood up with them as attendents at their wedding were able to come back and do the same for the vow renewal. There were 3 couples, who struggled, through hard times, and all 3 made it to their 50th Anniversaries. I would be willing to bet, that in the 1950's the men paid for it all. I know through the years, my Mom worked while my Dad re entered college, and we struggled financially---and by that time they worked as a team, but prior to the marriage, I am sure that Dad paid for it all. Times have changed.

The law very well may have changed---but if you find a woman of Filippino background or whatever, and nurture the relationship, prior to hauling her back to the US of A to marry her---then those questions will not be an issue. Marrying someone from another country is not illegal---marrying them simply to gain them citizenship is---as it should be. The law not only protects innocent young girls from being sold into these relationships, it protects you as well.

YOU ask "isn't it love we want?" YOU need to answer that question---what is love to YOU. Is "love" - your spouse doing everything your way? Is "love" - your spouse being at your beck and call? What makes you feel loved? How do you intend on making this woman feel loved? Love is not something you buy---or something you just make happen in my opinion.

When you love someone, you want the very best for them---so you need to make sure you are the very best.

Sounds to me like maybe you need to take a little time, enjoy talking with these women, and or any others, and learn to find out who you are, and what would make you feel loved, so you can in turn make the woman you marry next feel the same.

Just my opinion!

Kat

[Lee4love1 0]

Really...I've answered that question over and over again to myself. I know what Love is. Plus ot the other person--I am not limiting myself to any one race. I am an ex-Army soldier and I've dated--Black, White, Asian and Hispanic Women. I set my eyes out in the world without limiting my heart. If I meet some one of a different race than Asian--why not get aquainted?

I asked this question because of the very same small minded comments on some person saying I am "Buying" the Woman. Like I said before--we're still going strong with that same tradition here in the USA. If I could take a survey on some of the Women I've met from the time I was grown at age 19 until age 50 I am today--I would be rich with so much cash if I could collect $1,000 a person who wondered---"what was my salary" or "where did I work? I even wore my Postal Uniform a time ago--It was a dollar night in a club--when I used to go. I had the uniform on--but I had a new one--without the words that said-"Post Office". I tried to make conversation--the first thing I got---that I was a factory worker and she was not interested. I even used to play mind games--when a Lady asked me where I worked...I'd say--either 7-11 or Stop n Go. I got some of the strangest looks and responses. My point is this--no matter where go in America--we're confronted with $$$ issue. We have the same type of people here trying to get ahead--with another persons sweat or 'wallet". Trust me--I never intended this to be all Women. But with the ones I've encountered--the $$ signs in many eyes point to that conclusion.

What's wrong with wanting a certain type of Woman? Here's a secret...I worked with a quite a few Filipino Men and Women. I ate lunch with them, worked side by side with them. Most of them were just as you said--hard working. Now on the other hand--I got made fun of when I worked hard by my own peers. I am a Black Man and some of my so called peers cracked Jokes and made fun of me--because I voluntered for many over-time hours. "Man you're killing yourself"..."Why do you need to work 7 days a week? So with that in mind--I know how I am now. I am no longer working at the Post Office as a mail-handler. But I am fully aware of how people work--especially the Filipino People. I want a Woman who don't mind working hard like me. Before I go--I am a single Father of 2 boys--ages 11 and 9. Do you think taking care of them is easy work? I am an early retiree due a back condition. But--who knew--my new 7 year occupation has me still working hard at many things? Plus--I don't have that luxury of a ex-wife or Mom who gets them every other weekend. That has never happened in the past 7 years and I am afraid--it will not happen.

Getting married to a different race---it's totally my choice...

[Jachut 487]

Forgive me but unless I'm stupid, your initial post is saying quite clearly that you have not met someone and nurtured a relationship with her, fallen in love and wish to marry.

Wanting companionship and help to raise your kids is not wrong, but thinking you can just obtain it like a commodity is. You cannot seriously expect any modern woman on this board to not be offended by what you said in that initial post, it's exploitation of poorer races and cultures and you'll be used equally in return by women who want to escape their circumstances. You simply are not describing a healthy, egalitarian relationship.

If you meet someone Asian and fall in love and marry for love, that's fantastic. Even if you go there looking specifically for that, I wouldnt blame you. But it really does rub many people up the wrong way to hear someone say "I'm lonely, life is pretty hard, the kids are hard work and I dont get the respect i deserve from my peers, think I"ll go and pick me up a nice subservient Asian wife". That's what it sounds like. If its not, then I apologise.

This isnt about mixed race marriages at all, I'd hope nobody has a problem with that these days. Its about a relationship based on the wrong things.

I dont keep up with US law by the way, I dont even live in America. But the law doesnt have much to do with a relationship based on love anyway does it?

I'm sorry but just found the original post highly offensive.

[Lee4love1 0]

Let me clearify myself...I have communications with a Woman daily. We talk by phone, by email, by IM...I have a $ bill each month to prove that. No Woman is going to Just marry me--just because I come into their country and ask them. I may have not said anything about the nuturing part--but I am not going to go into many details. I am not a stupid Man nor am I slow. As I've said...I know plenty of the Asian people and I do talk to the Woman I am thinking of marrying. It's not written in stone that this is going to happen. It's been 5 months and I still am not sure. But the good thoughts are there. She is a single Mom--like I am a single Dad..she has 1 son--I have 2 sons. She works as a school teacher in her nation of the Philippines. So I am not thinking of marrying a lady who lives on one of the 1200 islands where there no electricity or proper shelter and she live in a straw shack--sorry--wrong version of Man who you've got me mixed up with. It's the same thing when I was in Germany for 6 long years. I had a Girlfriend--but again--I got the many questions asked of me by my dear Mom. "Are you going to marry her? "What do you know about her? and more---like I am getting here. During that time--I was seeing the Woman 3 to 4 times a week and I knew about all of her ways. It's a difference in cultures with the Germans--Just as the Filipinos. I have studied many things about the culture. There are soooo many sites to explain that--which I am on 2. It's a board---like this one for American Men to learn a lot about what the Women are about. I've read about the many pitfalls, the good and the bad things any western man can encounter. Then with me knowing a few here in the good old US of A. I am not walking with blinders on thinking I am getting someone or something better than I already have here. Meaning--women of interest. Being a Black Man in America--there are so many secrets many people are not aware of and I will not discuss them on this board..Let's just say--I am not blind. PLus to get deeper--I have done my homework..The thougght didn't just pop in my brain like yesterday--I decided to voice it today though. I guess--no matter what I do--it'll be maginified. When I dated a white Woman--OI got big flack--when I dated a Hispanic--I got flack--when I married my wife--OH My Lord--big time--because I am almost 20 years older---thank God we are now divorced...I have been alone for a few years--again...I listen sometimes to people who think I need to get married or date a certain someone. I've decided--if I can't have who I want--I'll fly solo:heh:

[Lee4love1 0]

OH yes...I forgot to say...."Isn't this America?

Are we not intitled to do what we want as long as it's "Legal". Aren't we intitled to our opinions--as long as we are "Free"?

So if I offended any Women--guess what--I am free to date who I want...We've built so many walls that we now call--Excuses--we've lost touch of Love and our reality.

Sometimes---a few Women would say--He's too short, too fat, too bald, job pays too less for my lifestyle.

Then you call it exploitation when a Woman wants to be with me?

What about some of the ladies in our own nation who exploit the Men just because they have a decent Jon and benefits? My dear--I have been there and done that.

Look at my example...we are always having issues with a certain class of people here in America. If a corperate executive marries a Mexican maid--he is talked about and ridiculed. If Bill Gates had of married a lower class person--he would have got it from his peers will maybe. But he married a Woman on the success track from within his Microsoft company. From what his life story says--she was not a Millionaire or a Billionaire...I am just an Ex-Soldier who's been to many places in our world--all thanks to the US Army. I can say without a doubt--I've never had any problems with any group of people or races--except right here in "our nation". Oh yes..If I was to leave Brooklyn and date a Woman from Queens, NY back when I was living in Brooklyn, NY. I would have been beaten to a pulp. Because--I was a race that wasn't excepted- You have to dig deep--think. Don't think because many races co-mingle--we are exploiting people. Lastly--I do want to have companionship to be with me and help me raise my children--is that so bad???

[Jachut 487]

If you've got a relationship with her then I apologise unreservedly. That's wonderful for you. In that sort of situation I defy anyone to tell you that you cant marry her.

You just didnt make it sound at ALL like that in your original post. You really made it sound like you wanted to "buy" a wife. And to be fair - I did point out that in that situation YOU would be exploited as much as her.

Marrying someone from anothe race/culture/country, I have no problem in the world with that. Buying a wife, I do. And you did sound like that's what you were saying. If you've found someone you truly want to marry who also wants to marry you, then that's absolutely wonderful. It doesnt matter at all where she comes from or where you come from.

[Lee4love1 0]

This is entirely true of what I meant to say. But with the new laws the USA has enacted as of March 16th-2006. No site that offers the mail order wives will be processed. I think I pointed out a report I read on the INS and the Philippines Embassy. Over 10,000 marriages were rejected all due the "Buying' of the Women. They even reject marriages if the Woman speaks no English. She has to know you had a divorce or an outside child and many things the INS asks. If the Man has had 2 Women he applied to marry and they didn't work out. The third application is put on a 24 month waiting list. Because there is a strong possibility the Man has no real intentions to do right. Many men promise this and that--especially to a Women who earns no more than 2500($54) to 9,000 Pesos($195). Just divide this by now 46 and see how many dollars you get? This is the average pay each of them make per month. The Pesos rate for the dollar has dipped to 45-46 for each american dollar. yes--Of course many Women want to come to America. I sure would if I was in Africa or there.

My friend--Yvonne says she wants to work to help her Mom some. I said--she could send $100 to $150 a month--that would do wonders in a nation of what I just told you of the average salary a month. I don't disagree with her. If she can obtain a job as a teacher here--I will not object to her sending her Mom cash. Funny thing--we have a shortage of teachers and Nurse now. So much a few VA hospitals are closing their doors as of 2010. Biloxi, MIssissippi is scheduled to do that if they can't get the right number to work there. Again--the US has a recruiting plan for Jobs--which some people are not fully aware of. I found a web that US controls on recruitment of Foriegn workers. Nurses, teacher and other professional careers. Do you know that there are not many takers? Many of the Nursing Jobs can't be filled by us and by outsiders..Like China, Korea, Japan and the Philippines. The many Women who are coming here--some come through that program. I know of 5 who came here like that and brought the husband and the kids. Too many Nurses work in NYC who come from all of the nations. The US government now give Men with Foriegn wives many breaks...If you knew what kind of breaks we get--your will be truly disgusted. i will let you investigate that. When you do--get back with me. Oh yes..I am going to make you aware of the new law--"Lady Congress-Women" passed in march 2006.

[Lee4love1 0]

IMBRA---International Marriage Broker Regulation Act .Just put IMBRA in the search and you'll be shocked....Also VAWA...Violence Against Women Act...all of this says--who we Men can talk to--who we can marry and more when dealing with Women of other nations..The newest Properganda makes all men get a Criminal Backgorund check before getting married to any Foreign Woman. Because we American Men would be prone to Violence. Especially Women of other nations.

Imagine if you had to get a Criminal Background check before you could marry a Man in the USA?

[o2bthin 0]

You want a maid, nanny and sex slave. You don't want a wife. Own it and stop making excuses. Bleeeech!

[Jachut 487]

Well I'm glad I'm not the only one who read it that way.

[Lee4love1 0]

So...what do you think I do each day for my kids??? Cry because I have to cook? Cry because I have to clean? Sorry--wrong Man for the wrong movie--- I cook, clean, wash, mop and more. I wouldn't need a wife to do that. In fact--I'd love to seeing my two boys eating--cooked meals. Not the boxed meals, not the microwaved meals. Meals I cook and prepare from scratch. I don't need a sex slave or a cook or a maid...Most of all--I can cook very well. In fact--I love to cook--because I started to learn at age 12. Guess who taught me?? My Dear Mom. She made me wash the families clothes-because I was the oldest-made me learn to cook and told me--there would be days like this. She even mentioned about you ladies--who would speak out of turn and not have the faintess of what you were talking about. I used to dislike cooking when I was a teenager--because the Guys would pick at me--But you ladies ought to know--It's not the case today. You have read something that is not there. But then again--you people have old beleifs that are so outdated. In fact--let me call you what you are--a dinosaur--exinct and outdated--that's what you are. If I am soooo off base--Why do my own Mom call me--Mr Nice Guy. She told me...that is why you don't have a wife--you're just too nice to Women--cooking and all that--let her do it-But then again--now I know who she was talking about---you ladies--(My Mom is old of course). If I wanted a sex slave--all I have to do is get me one of the Women right here in America. In fact--I know of a few ladies here--just like you who could do the same thing. Why do I need to fly 8,000 miles away? Oh by the way--I've been a single Dad for 7 years and I love doing what I do and enjoy it. I do for my sons everyday and love it. I wouldn't have fought in court to keep my sons with me. I could did what most Men did--give up without a fight. But I knew the Woman I had with their Mom and said..No d** way...I also make sure they are in school daily--my wake up time--5:15 am. I am not tired at all. In fact--if you met me--you would not think I am lazy with the schedule I keep...Yes I have had my time of being lazy0-but depressed--but weren't we all that way at one time or another. My Depression was not with a Woman in mind. It was the Military injuries I have that seemed to kick me in the butt--hard. Again--stop it with the BS--you're starting to make me earl(sick)--That is the old belief by many of the jealous Women here in America. You think all men are lazy lazy--I am not that type....So very Sad, very sad--that is why so many Women--Young Women act like they've worked 16 hours and only had to prepare a 45 minute meal. Many are going to have all of our sons--looking like skeletons--if they have to depend on them cooking. That's why my son can cook now--6 different dishes--at 11 yrs old--with a bit of help from me. Yet he's learned from who?? His Dad, that's who. But then again--you two Women have not met a Real Man lately--have YOU???

I guess you are now living inside of my head....funny--very funny...By the way---

I ask you to look at the IMBRA to see what the Congresswomen have inacted to prevent some of the abuses that the Men who go there and put upon a few Women. It's a law that seems unconstitional. But they passed it without a problem. I was wrong before--I said 10,000 marriages were stopped--but in fact--50,000 were stopped in it's tracks. Now all of the Men get criminal background checks and more.--instead you don't read it. You tried reach me with words that was to destroy my motivation---but trust me--nothing has been done to stop me. My friend who I talk with each day from the Philippines. I have let her know all too many times--she is not coming here to be my maid or my sex slave. I want a Woman whoi can think on her own. Even though she teaches in her land--she was taught to do all of the things I am doing for my 2 boys. Sorry ladies--I can't look at myself in the mirror if I am a Man like that. My Mom didn't teach me that and for sure--My step Dad laid that out to me--day 1. Laziness is not in my Vocabulary....But as I recall---headaches was the number symptom for women who didn't want to have sex with their husbands. I see if like this...If I do 1/2 of all the work---well most likely--3/4's of it--because I am at home daily. You would never have a need to complain that your head hurts--would you?:notagree