To Tell or Not To Tell...

[KtKt 0]

Are you all very OPEN with family, friends, neighbors, co-workers about your LB decision? Just curious... I'm afraid to say too much to anyone... what if (((I))) fail?

Did you just wait until people started noticing your weight loss? Explain it when you have an office luncheon? Avoid social gnoshing with friends?

I think that's what it boils down to... the fear of failing at this... After a lifetime of failing at one weight loss attempt after another... (I do have a positive attitude about this... but you all know that nagging voice... don't you?)

katie:ranger:

[Band Chick 3]

Check out this poll: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/keeping-secret-31977/

I am only telling closest friends and family. It's hard enough explaining it to some of them.

[citygirlnks 0]

It's all a matter of how comfortable you are telling someone. For me, I've only told my boyfriend and my imediate family members. It was really difficult facing the fact that I am unhappy with my weight and failing all other weight loss programs and I found it hard to verbally disclose my unhappiness. It was difficult enough telling my family and my boyfriend. I am glad they are supportive but it's not something I feel I'd be comfortable telling my friends or coworkers, to me, it's just so personal.

[TerriDoodle 6]

Just remember: Once you tell, you can't UN-tell!

[KtKt 0]

argh! Sorry to post this here... There is so much to READ, I totally missed the existing thread... I'll use the search feature before starting anything new again! Sorry...

and thanks for your comments... I think I'll just make decisions as I go....

HUGZ!!!

kt

[Lorsbander 1]

It is hard to keep it secret. I am the kind of person who needs to feel supported by my friends and family, so I had to tell them what I was planning. Most were very supportive, while others were not. Most people do not understand what the band is, or they think it is the same as bypass. You have to educate them. My mom and dad are not happy with my decision. I just got approved yesterday, so now it is really gonna happen. I need to educate them, and I think they are also scared about me undergoing surgery.

When I start losing weight I know people who I have not told are gonna be curious. There is one thing I know for sure about myself- I am not a good liar. If someone asks me how I lost the weight, I am gonna tell them I was banded. It's the truth- plus what if they find out through the grapevine that I lied to them. That would make me look bad. I am proud that I am going to be banded. I feel it is a very honorable decision. We all know it is not the easy way out. It is just a tool, and we do the rest.

To tell or not to tell- it's up to you, but they all usually find out in the end, one way or another. Whether you tell them or they hear from someone else.

[peggy1011 0]

I felt it to be more comfortable telling my family, friends and coworkers. I didnt want to deal with the explaining of why i was out of work, and why i am now eating the way i am. I've found everyone to be supportive as well as curious. They all remark on my progress, and encourage me.

[wanna_b_thin 0]

I'm not wanting to tell people except my husband and parents.Is that bad? I just feel completely uncomfortable and I haven't even had the surgery yet.

[Band Chick 3]

I'm not wanting to tell people except my husband and parents.Is that bad? I just feel completely uncomfortable and I haven't even had the surgery yet.

No. That's not bad. It's your own personal business. I can think of lots of things people keep private. Can you imagine if all skinny people, for example, had to wear a T-shirt that displayed their problems the way our fat does for us? "I'm an alcoholic", "I lost my rent money gambling", "I had a testical removed" People keep their personal information private. Just because you're used to everyone knowing your business doesn't mean you have to tell them

[daizee 0]

I totally agree with BandChick! I was banded last Nov and am a slow loser. So glad that I swore my husband to secrecy and everyone isn't watching everything I do or do not eat. I am so glad that I didn't tell anyone but I think it's great if someone feels that they need to. It is a very personal decision.

[Lorien 0]

I was really nervious about telling my Mom. She's had a weight problem her entire life too. I sat down and to tell her, and after I hymmed-and-hawwed and finally got it out, and said, "I think it's great, and if I was your age I'd have it too!"

LOL Yea - go Mom. Can't beat that for a support-group.

As far as everyone else - I'm not saying a word!!

I know someone at work who had bypass and whenever I see her eat, that's what I think about. Then I feel bad, because I know what she goes through with her weight, but I can't help it - that's what I remember.

I don't want that reaction from people when they see me, so I'm going to keep it private.

My Step-Mom and Mother on the other-hand have each told all their friends about it, so they all know! Oh well - I'll only have to deal with it when I'm visiting.

[QueenB 0]

I have decided not to tell anyone but my family. I think it is really how comfortable you feel. I just do not want anyone to be constantly judging me and have "expectations" of how much or little I have lost.

I am just going to tell people that I have started to watch what I eat and exercise more once I start losing. (if they ask that is).

I get banded on August 7 and start Optifast Pre Op Diet on Tuesday.

Best of Luck to you whatever you decide!

[andreerichards1 4]

I have told so many people about the band its all i have been researching and talking about for the past year but now that my day is coming what if i don't lose any weight wow wont i look stupid, and broke.

[StrawberryGrl 0]

As it is I'm a bit of a private person myself. Well privaite in the manner of I only told my close family and friends/co-workers, of course I had to let my upper managment of my job know. Besides that I haven't said much of anything to anyone. Personally it's not because of fear of failure but fear of being put down by those who don't approve. I didn't even tell my Mom until I had already went to the seminar and made a appointment with the surgeon! I think everyone has there own way of letting people know. I consider myself lucky, everyone I've chosen to tell has been very supportive and willing to learn.

[mariaxoxo4u 0]

Hi,

I'm waiting for a band date and also thought about who to tell.

I love all the different views here - we all feel so different! It's great and it is so VERY personal. I'm like an open book (sometimes I give way too much info) so I've told quite a few people and for the most part, MOST people were supportive. My Mom has been begging me to get this done for years. So, she's already prepared to get me from the hospital, babysit etc... I'm really grateful. But, I have a friend who is awaiting a band date and absolutely does not want to tell anybody and I respect my friend's decision.

Maria