They seemed sane...Dating horror stories

[RILEYSMOM22 344]

So, yesterday, I began to chat with a guy on a dating site. He fits all of my criteria. His second message asks "What's your figure like?" My response was to tell him that it's changing....surgery, etc. And that I have had 5 children, and finally "curvy" is my best description. He proceeds to ask again.... I am thinking he wants my bra size...
I entertained a whole bunch of his other very personal, sexual questions. Then decided enough is enough and told him I wasn't comfortable discussing these things with someone I don't know. Conversation abruptly ended. This is typical of my online dating experiences.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I completely understand your hesitation to discuss so I send pix. Clothed in normal attire but they can get the gist if my looks and body. I have seen many guys who describe themselves as fit or average who are quite overweight. I put myself as average but it is a crap shoot what that means to people.

I also send current photos...pet peeve of mine!

So, yesterday, I began to chat with a guy on a dating site. He fits all of my criteria. His second message asks "What's your figure like?" My response was to tell him that it's changing....surgery, etc. And that I have had 5 children, and finally "curvy" is my best description. He proceeds to ask again.... I am thinking he wants my bra size...

I entertained a whole bunch of his other very personal, sexual questions. Then decided enough is enough and told him I wasn't comfortable discussing these things with someone I don't know. Conversation abruptly ended. This is typical of my online dating experiences.

[bellabloom 2,467]

I've got one that gives me the chuckles now, but horrified me at the time. The story has a long setup, but it has a payoff.

This was back when I first moved to Ohio from Solitude, IN. Needless to say I was a country boy out of place in Dayton, OH. I was in college at the time and working as a manager at a Blockbuster video. (That should tell you how long ago it was!) I rode a bicycle 6 miles one way, 6 days a week, and weight lifted for about 1.5 hours a day. I had no social life since I was so new to the area. Not to be narcissistic, but I was a damn good looking 220lbs. At Blockbuster, It was common for people to rent a tape (yes, a VHS tape) at one location and drop it off at another. So every shift, you would go through the drop box and weed out the other location tapes and call the location to let them know to come pick them up.

I established a rapport with a woman (Karen) at the nearest store and we would flirt outrageously over the next few months. One evening, she told me that she and and an employee (Todd) were going out after they closed and would I be interested in joining them?

Sure, why not!

Now, as I mentioned before, I was a young man from the country. Not worldly in any way. Bigotry and prejudices were rampant in that area, so everyone I ever saw was pretty much just like me. So forgive an ignorant young man for the next part.

They swung by my store to pick me up and we went to a bar called 1470's. Dance music was playing and there was a huge crowd outside. As we get out of the car and start walking towards the bar, this 6 foot... thing... walks in front of me in a black lace clingy "dress" with red hooker heels, long blonde hair and a 5 o'clock shadow and hairy arms. I stopped in my tracks.

I lean over to Todd, full of fear, "Todd... did you bring me to a *derogatory name for homosexual* bar?!" (Remember, young and ignorant at the time. I am no longer like this.)

Todd looks at me with one eyebrow cocked like Mr. Spock, "Duuuhhh.... I'm gay."

Now I lean over to Karen, "Karen! Did you bring me to a *derogatory name for homosexual* bar?!!"

Karen looks shocked, "Aren't you gay???"

My mouth drops and I hit a high pitched frantic voice, "No I'm not gay! I'm from Indiana!!" As if that would explain anything and everything all at once.

Needless to say, I set out to prove to my companions that I am indeed hetero by not only flirting outrageously with Karen, but I stepped up my game and we ended up making out. Passionately. That should let everyone know that I am indeed a raging hetero and obviously insecure young man. Karen however loved every minute of it. After we left the bar, we talked a bit, she apologized for not telling me it was a gay night club and also for thinking I was gay as well. (Evidently, every male that worked for Blockbuster in the area was gay. shows how astute I was at the time.) She did however say she would love to go out on a real date.

The next weekend we do a pretty generic date. We didn't do coffee since we had been talking for months and also had already kissed. We had a casual dinner, saw some forgettable movie, and then went to a bar for a drink and conversation. This is where she tells me how she had a great time the weekend before and now that it is done, it is actually pretty funny. She asks about my plans for the future, what my family is like; she tells me about her family, how she wants kids, how her father and I will get along famously, and her mother will love having me for a son-in-law, and how cute our babies will be, we should have a May wedding since June is so cliche, but it will have to be two Mays from now since her husband still lives in her house...

At this time, all blood has drained from my face. My heart was thundering in my chest. She wasn't joking. I mean, there was no hint of a jest. Her smile now appeared to be a rictus that would be at home on a crazy clown or maybe the Joker.

Oh, and she was my ride home.

How in the heck to I get out of this?! I couldn't just anger her and make her mad me, I had seen Fatal Attraction. I know where that leads. I had to drag this out over days. Forgetting to call her back, taking her husbands' side in whatever disagreements they were having... anything to make her see that I was not the one. It worked eventually, but the scars of that experience will last me a lifetime.

Funniest post ever! Poor thing

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

@@BigViffer when I was 17 I was a waitress at a diner type place. They hired a tall, athletic guy my age as a dishwasher and all the older ladies lusted after him. (He was irresistibly cute, sweet, tall, and sexy but very shy.) The dirty ole ladies encouraged me to go after him and we became great friends. I wanted more....but country bumpkin in the 1980s.....clueless. When no making out showed up after a few months one of the older ladies declared him as gay. I feel shame that i didn't appreciate him more as a person - it is one of those..wish I had a do-over because I was appalled by the idea of his homosexuality and yet he was the kindest male I knew at that time. And, he was hot. If I had the chance to have a pal like that today, I'd be all over it.

I am so grateful that most of us now accept gays as equals and I pray my God doesn't judge me too hard for my bigotry.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@CowgirlJane - don't be too hard on your self, it was the 1980's, we locked up people for life because they had a joint, bands wore spandex, women used aquanet, and everyone still smoked...in public

Obviously a decade without quality control...but the music was good

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

@@bellabloom - compulsive spitting problem? That can't be a short take, I want to hear more about that (I think)

I had a work colleague who cleared his throat every 15 seconds. It drove me bananas. I finally asked him if he had a medical problem or if it was just a habit. I never got a good answer and it never stopped.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Inner Surfer Girl -ahem, well be glad you didn't go out...ahem...out to dinner with Mr. Phlegm.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I've learned not to spend too much time on the telephone with people. I used to think that's a good way to start, and sometimes it is. You can determine that you don't even want a coffee date with the person. Most of the time, it's a waste of time.

I spent a couple of weeks talking quite a bit on the phone with someone who lives near my son, 4 hours away. I guess he thought since we talked on the phone, we already knew each other. We met at the mall, and it was Christmas time.We walked around and I bought a few things. We sat down at the food court and he asked if I was done shopping. I thanked him for being patient while I shopped in stores I didn't have at home. Then I told him I would understand if he wanted to meet later cause I would be in town for a few days. He said he didn't do all the shopping for nothing. We WERE going back to his house to have sex, weren't we? He was also pretty upset that he wasted all that time on the phone, too.

Then there was the guy who had a hat on in his pictures and smiled without showing his teeth. We met for lunch, and I wondered how he was going to eat lunch when he had no teeth. He was also completely bald which would have been fine. I asked him why his profile stated he had black hair. He said he used to have hair when he was younger.

I can't believe I am still even willing to go out on a first meet/greet again!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Oregondaisy - sigh, well when you do the math you realize half of all males are below average.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

I was inexperienced at dating when I entered college. My equally inexperienced roommate and I read the campus newspaper and saw an ad for what was then called "computer dating". This was 1979. Between the two of us, I was the troublemaker and convinced her that this was a good idea. So, we wrote to the address, and a few days later we each received a long questionnaire in the mail.

We were scared but excited. We spent a lot of time filling out the answers. Then we took the plunge and mailed them off.

A few days after that, our phone rang in the dorm room. Lo and behold, we had been matched to two young gentlemen who also attended U of I. Let's call them Dave and Joe. Joe was interested in a date with my roommate Mary, and Dave was interested in a date with me. How about a double date?

So we went. We met them at a local bar. Here we were, two 18-year-old girls with almost zero dating experience.

Joe was super shy and barely opened his mouth the entire evening. Just like my roommate Mary. Dave was a chatterbox, and I tried to keep up with him. A few beers in, and everybody relaxed a little bit. So much so, that Dave decided to make a small confession.

Turns out that the computer dating service that we mailed our questionnaire to was simply Dave and Joe. Two computer science students looking for dates. Mary and I were the first ones to reply, and their business was off and running.

We all got a good laugh out of that. I actually enjoyed myself, and they were both gentlemen, and acted like they would call again.

Although Mary said she enjoyed herself, she said she probably wouldn't go out with them again. Joe was way too quiet, and paired up with Mary, they barely spoke to each other.

A few days later, our dorm room phone rang. Mary answered it. "Oh hi, Dave! Nice of you to call!"

I was so excited. Way too loudly I shouted, "I'll be right there!"

But, alas. Dave was not calling for me. He was more interested in Mary. Boy, did I put my foot in my mouth! Dave asked Mary out. I can't remember if she actually went out with him or not. I think she did, but it didn't lead to anything.

So that's my exciting dating story!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Now, those are two guys I truly admire!

I bet they're billionaires now.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@JustWatchMe - That is a great story

[bellabloom 2,467]

I've got a doozy!!

Oh man.

Met this guy online. Really liked him. We went to the movies and had a great time.

He keeps texting me about various health problems he has though... And I'm thinking... Weird? Anyway I mention I have trouble with digestion. He asks me for Details so I say something vague.

He then goes- "so what your saying is you were a fatty and had your stomach stapled?"

I freeze. I'm thinking, omg how does he know! So I reply that yes, that's pretty much it.

And he's in shock. I guess he was kidding! Haha right?

So I explain most people are very shocked when I tell them because I'm so little now. They can't picture me overweight.

He replies "are they shocked by how small you are or by the inevitable revealing of your skin folds?"

I cried for 20 minutes and blocked his phone number.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

@@bellabloom Oh no! That's horrible! I am so sorry you had to deal with that.

[RILEYSMOM22 344]

@@bellabloom

Awww, sweetie.... that is horrible.

I have dated a few guys lately. Went out a couple times with each of them. They vanish when I tell them about my surgery. The last one was a physician. I told him before we went out. Second date ended with him telling me what insurance usually covers for skin removal, etc. ( I knew this already). Then, he also vanished. So....to tell or not to tell???