In need of some tough love and inspiring comments :)

[tfarr 270]

Hi there

I am 10 months Post op and I have derailed big time. I've pretty much given up on all the reasons I got sleeved to begin with. I have stopped exercising and eat sweets constantly. Emotional eating is awful, I need to be stronger but just give in.

I'm failing at a fast rate and have little control.

If there's some good advise to wake me up it is appreciated and welcome.

Tough or not, I need it!

❤️

[Onelife 128]

Maybe go back on the liquid pre-op diet for a week to reset your eating????

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

need to be stronger - failing at fast rate - have little control.

@@tfarr

i'n not good at tough love, but here goes

if you were next to me

i would knock your block off!!!

what's going on??

you lost 80 lbs!!

that's great

i know you regained some

don't throw the baby out with the bath water!!

you know why you got the sleeve

improved health

less medication

knees feeling better too??

improved appearance too

ability to live a longer life

happiness for reasons above

and feeling better about yourself

sorry you have fallen off track

TEMPORARILY gone back to old/bad habits

lots of sweets

what are you thinking??!!

i know you can and will get back on the right road to success

have 3 Protein shakes a day (nothing else)

for about 3 days up to a week

drink lllllots of Water alll day

at least 64 oz

doing the above will give you a jump start to loosing some weight at a faster time

then go back to the beginning

eat proper portions (measure(

don't drink with meals, don't eat for 30 - 45 minutes after you eat, Protein first, chew slowly etc etc

do you stiil have a NUT, or could you get one??

scream for help anytime

that's what we're here for

support, answers, info, experiences, opinions

after 10 months you should know all the rules

but if you have a question/reminder about something

ask away

do you have any support?

can you talk to hubby/SO, neighbor, friends etc

ask if they can "be there" for you to talk with

have as much confidence in yourself, that i have in you

good luck

kathy

[Djmohr 6,965]

Here's the deal, you know exactly what you are or are not doing that is impacting you at this point.

The big question is why? Maybe if you can answer that, you can stop doing it?!

Once you figure that out, do a reset. You obviously know exactly what you need to do to be successful. You have done this, you lost over 80lbs and came so very close to your goal. They are called lifestyle changes for a reason. You have to be committed to them or you will go right back to the yo yo diets from before. They are not healthy.

You cannot get to goal and say ok, I have arrived, I am happy with where I am at so I guess I can stop eating healthy and eat the way I used to.

I think you already know all of this so, pull up your boot straps and get yourself busy!

How is this for tough love?! I wish you all the best and I absolutely know you can do this because you have done it before. Only time will tell if you are committed to actually changing your life to make it permanent. You have taken the first steps and recognized the issues and have asked for help. That my dear is progress! Now take the next steps.

[JosieAppleHead 74]

You have come to far to turn back now. you are 20lbs from losing 100lbs thats major. Why are you sabotaging yourself?

tfarr, you have a beautiful baby in the pic with you who is cheering for you to be her role model and in her eyes you are the best and whats crazy is you know you are worth this, you know you deserve this and you know you can do this. Why are you afraid of your own success?

Pull up those boot straps throw out all of that junk food and do this cause it will make you feel good about yourself and good about life and good about your health. HEY LADY, YOU ARE WORTH IT! The only thing between you and losing this weight to your goal is YOU!

Now big huge hug and lets look at this as one meal messed up back to plan.

Edited October 4, 2015 by JosieAppleHead

[bluedawn28 9]

I'm not one for tough love. Personally, I'm struggling day 9 post-op liquid diet has me loopy. Back to you - your not perfect you slipped. Your 10 months in you've proven you are strong. Take your moment and move on. You know better then anyone else, what your trigger is and how you can conquer it. You inspire others with your honesty. ????

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

What's going on with you?

When did this start?

What do you think is at the heart of these changes in your eating / behaviors?

[BLERDgirl 6,417]

You say you're an emotional eater. Have you thought of anything you can do instead of eating sweets? Have you come up with a plan to get back to exercising?

That's life; planning, evaluating and adjusting. I slip up but I start each day anew and plan how to be successful. I look at each day, each week and make plans to eat healthy and to get to the gym. If I need to make work around plans I do so.

[LivingFree! 478]

@@tfarr, This is your time to recommit to yourself and take personal responsibility for the rest of your WLS life. It happens to a lot of us around 10 months when the "honeymoon" period is over. We all pretty much lose weight those first months no matter how carefully (or not) we follow our programs.

Time to have a very hard but realistic chat with yourself. Have you made your BEST effort to truly permanently change your old eating habits since your surgery, (i.e., drastically limiting refined, processed food) and learned to eat clean, natural, unprocessed foods (lean Protein, fresh fruits, veggies)? If this has not become as routine to you as brushing your teeth these past 10 months, this would be a good place to start.

There is more and more scientific data being published that the more refined, processed carbs (like sweets) we eat, the more the pleasure center in our brains is triggered to the point that it becomes out of our conscious control to stop eating the junk. The GREAT news is that when we feed our bodies the good stuff, our cravings for the junk diminishes. Our bodies WANT the healthy food and stop the ravenous need for junk.

But don't just totally deprive yourself of your "sweets." There are so many friendly bari-friendly substitute recipes for the sweets you are eating that are currently derailing you. FIND THEM and wean yourself off of the junk that is sabotaging you.

Get to that point where YOU control your food and stop having it control you. The power is in your hands! You have so much power--it's sitting there waiting for you...IT IS NEVER TOO LATE!

[del112 62]

After all you have been through with recovering from surgery, all the pain, sacrifice , adjustments, nausea??!!! Come on ! Pull yourself up! We are all in this together but you must do your part!!!

[fabnsab 19]

Start going to regular therapy to help you handle the emotional aspects.

After I had my daughter I lost 96 lbs. as soon as I started feeling great, I slipped and ended up gaining 110 back. I ran my butt to therapy to figure out why I sabotage.

It's not a quick fix but it sure helps you understand. It didn't help me lose weight, personally, but it showed me things about myself I needed to know.

Good luck!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

If you aren't doing what you need to do, you don't have to figure it all out before you do something about it.

I would suggest you go back to basics. Are you getting in all of your Water and Protein every day? If not, then start there. If you aren't or don't know, then why not?

Why not make an appointment with your NUT to check in? Why not make an appointment with a counselor or therapist? Is there a local bariatric support group you could attend? You don't have to do this alone.

In the meantime, write down everything you have accomplished since you started this process and why you wanted to have surgery in the first place.

Best of luck and keep us posted on how you are doing.

[tfarr 270]

Thank you all so, so, so much for your responses. I do know

A couple reasons why I emotional eat.

When my two children are to much for me to handle I eat. I cant leave or call someone to come and let me go for a walk.

Another thinking is , when I was at my first nut visit after my phase 5 was cleared I asked her how many calories I should have at that time with my sleeve. She said no more that 800. When I know I was getting way more, like 1100. I was still losing. I have an active lifestyle as far as work, my kiddos, ect. My surgeon said " as long As is good nutritious food, Protein first then veggies don't worry"

But, after my nut said 800, I ultimately felt like a failure. It has been chiseled in my mind ever since. I can't shake the notion of failure since that time. No matter what they tell me, it's that one time I can't shake

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I don't have any specific advice re "I eat when the kids are too much for me to handle." However, I do think a good cognitive behavioral therapist could help you identify some DIFFERENT ways to respond to that situation.

And I do think that cognitive behavioral therapy would be good for you, since you already know that your NUT's 800 calories and no more comments generated some very negative feelings about yourself that you haven't shaken yet.

800 calories, no more, huh?

Maybe you'd like to know that eating 800 calories a day and no more is NOT how I lost my weight.

My bariatric P.A. told me this instead:

After four months, of eating 800 calories/day (which is pretty much all I could eat in those early days post-op), she said: "I want you to get up to 1,000 calories/day before you're six months post-op. And then I want you to get up to 1,200 calories/day before you're at eight months post-op. That way, you will avoid teaching your body how to survive on so few calories you'll have a hard time maintaining your weight long-term."

So I did. And by the time 8.5 months post-op rolled around, I'd hit my weight goal of 150 pounds. In the last five months I've gone on to lose another 10 pounds and am now holding steady at 140 pounds.

And I now eat an average of 1,700 calories/day. On rare days, I eat only 1,200 calories or go up to 3,000 calories (only twice). But mostly it's 1600-1800 calories.

However, please know that most of those calories (while I was losing and now that I'm maintaining) come from highly nutritious foods -- 80-100 grams of Protein (from animal, dairy, plant sources), at least 5 colored veggies and fruits, whole grains (like whole wheat, quinoa, brown rice), 21-30 grams of Fiber, and at or under the recommended sodium levels, etc.

I try to walk or exercise daily. I don't have small kids, but my lifestyle is much more active than it once was. I drink 64 ounces of Water and other liquids daily.

So why not ditch that stinkin' thinkin' you have been stuck in and recommit yourself to doing all the things you know you need to do.

I will add that since I've been in maintenance I do have some treats (wine and dark chocolate, mostly). But those were very, very rare when I was still losing. Since you're not at maintenance yet and want to lose more weight, I would clean the cabinets and get rid of all the things that tempt you.

One final bit of advice: The eating we do after WLS is not just to lose weight -- it's to rebuild our health and sustain our physical and mental energy for a lifetime of normal weight and good health. Be good to your body and your mind. Give them both the nutrition they are craving. You know you want this. You can do this. Just do it.

[Ilovecats1985 100]

I suggest speaking with your bariatric team and seeing about finding a counselor to help you figure out what's triggered the eating and help you get back on track.