Truly Life Changing

[Nessa0121 14]

Hey, I just had surgery this past Monday, September 28th. Since insurance didn't even have the tiniest bit of weight loss coverage surgery was self paid. Of course I expected ALL of this to be stressful for my husband and I but I had no idea that not even a week after surgery that we would be screaming at each other.

I'm beyond knowing how to feel. Am I in the wrong for wanting to be taken care of? I feel like he thinks now that I'm home everything just goes back to how it was and I should be taking care of him, the children, the dog plus all the house chores. How do I get him to understand that I hurt? That being around food is hard? I feel like I'm going to have to force myself to fake being "okay"

What do I do?

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@Nessa0121 - I am not married nor do I have children so I don't have great advice. I just wanted to encourage you though and say that the first week is really hard - not just psychically but emotionally - and that was while I was recovering alone. (My mom stayed with me a couple of nights and then I was on my own which I think might have been easier than being around others with food.) You are not wrong for wanting some help. Hopefully you can help him understand at the very least that you did just have major surgery and are recovering and just like it were knee or shoulder or hysterectomy, you would need a little help.

I am sure other moms / wives will chime in but I just wanted to say hang in there! HUGS!

[Nessa0121 14]

Thank you!

[Ashlegal 525]

How did he feel about you having surgery in the first place? Was there support through the process or was he resistant to the idea from the beginning?

You simply do what you can, when you can and take care of yourself.

Was he helpful before surgery? Was there a partnership that was built on love and respect? Or was it always his way or no way?

I am just trying to wrap my mind around having someone in my life that wouldn't understand that I just had LIFE ALTERING major surgery and expected nothing to change in our relationship.

Mind boggled.

[bellabloom 2,467]

You 100% should expect to be helped by your spouse until you are feeling better.

Sit him down as say- I need to rest, period. My expectation is that you will make this possible. I don't expect to be waited on hand and foot. But you need to see to the chores and children while I recover for the next week. Do it in whatever way you see fit, but do it. I'll be in my room.

You have to set standards for yourself and stick to your guns.