9 months out from VSG and so disappointed in myself! HELP!

[gabrielle2014 38]

Hi everyone - I haven't posted in a while but I thought I would turn back to the boards for help as I really need it.

I had VSG on December 16th. I had a heart attack shortly after on December 22nd but there was no blockage and i recovered quickly. In the first 5 months I lost 60 pounds and felt amazing. I started at 244 and got down to 180. But since May or June I have been bouncing around between 176 and 178. While I obviously can't go back to my old eating habits I'm still snacking and eating horribly at times. I have found the little ways I can 'cheat.' I keep telling myself I didn't go through all of this just to lose 67 pounds. I want to lose at least 20 more.

The surgery has changed my life in many great ways - my heart is doing really well - ankle pain is gone and I'm far more mobile. I started back at school in May and I am trying to change careers and I LOVE it. But it means that I'm in my car commuting 20 hours a week - working at my full time job 45 hours a week - and at school 13 hours a week. I'm so tired and stressed out. Though I know if I wanted to I could truly change my behaviors.

I have worked out maybe 6 times since surgery. I have a slight handicap that prevents me from walking long distances but I know I use that as an excuse.

I'm so upset and angry with myself for going back to some of my old ways and not working out. I'm angry I let myself have sugar and that I don't find the time to work out and lose these last 20 pounds.

I'm worried that I won't be able to get back on track and lose the rest of the weight and that even if I work out it won't make a difference.

No one needs to tough-love me bc I'm so upset with myself as it is.

Is there anyone else out there that is struggling as well? I feel like I'm the only WLS patient that has reverted back to old ways. I have an appointment with my nutritionist next week and with my nurse. I'm hoping that will help. I was hoping to find a support group but they meet on the same night as my class.

I could use some feedback about how to get myself back on track.

[AvaFern 3,516]

It really doesn't sound like you are doing that horribly. I started at 237 with surgery in September 2013 and by May I was at the same weight-ish that you are. I just could not get under 170. In June I started working out more and by August I had dropped to 157. It was only in April of 2015 that I actually hit goal. It's a process....you just have to keep on keepin' on, or so I tell myself, but moral of my story...you and I have similar stats and similar time frames and I eventually broke out of the same stall you are in. It just takes time and dilligence.

[UmmZ 4]

Hello,

I had my gastric sleeve surgery on December 19, 2014 so I am also 9 month post op. I have lost 70 pounds and I find that I am slipping back to my old ways as well. I have been through 3 very major life events since May and I am stress eating.

I am scared to death really because I do not want to go back to what I was before. I am sorry I really don't have any suggestions on how to get back on track. Do you need an online buddy?

I look forward to reading any suggestions that come with your post.

Regards,
UmmZ

[gabrielle2014 38]

Oh THANK YOU so much for saying that. The girls from my group are all at the 100 pound mark and still don't eat sugar or carbs. And I know that I'm not gaining - but I'm also not losing. But I think it is because of the way i'm eating - not getting my Protein - snacking on popcorn - eating small doses of chocolate - not working out - not having my Water. I'm just so disappointed with myself.

But your post gives me hope that I could break the pattern - that it isn't too late for me.

I think I got to a point where I felt so good and look so much better - I've just gotten lazy. But I need to regroup and remember why I did this and get myself back on track. Even after all these months. I have to believe I can do it.

I also need to join a cheap gym - I don't belong to one now and that is not good bc no matter how much I tell myself I will work out at home i Just never do.

THANK YOU!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Congratulations on all that you have accomplished. It sounds like you aren't giving yourself enough credit. Maybe read back over your post and reflect on how far you have come.

You obviously recognize that you need help to reach your goal and have reached out here as well as making appointments with professionals in your bariatric team. That is a very healthy and practical way to approach making a change.

I am not as far along in the process as you so all I can suggest in addition to the steps you have taken is to go back to basics. Focus on getting in all your Water and Protein and look for some ways to get some exercise.

One thing I did, years ago when I was working full-time and going to graduate school at night,

was to schedule time in the pool just like I was scheduling a class. You might even want to sign up for a fitness or dance class. Making that time commitment helps me because otherwise I can always find something else to do.

Best of luck and keep us posted.

And, Embrace the Stall!

[gabrielle2014 38]

Hello,

I had my gastric sleeve surgery on December 19, 2014 so I am also 9 month post op. I have lost 70 pounds and I find that I am slipping back to my old ways as well. I have been through 3 very major life events since May and I am stress eating.

I am scared to death really because I do not want to go back to what I was before. I am sorry I really don't have any suggestions on how to get back on track. Do you need an online buddy?

I look forward to reading any suggestions that come with your post.

Regards,

UmmZ

Oh UmmZ - I hadn't read this before I replied. I'm so sorry you've had alot of stress at all but maybe we can support each other a bit to get ourselves back on track? I know there is no miracle to doing it - we just have to start. Its the starting I have a hard time with because I'm so angry at myself.

[gabrielle2014 38]

Okay - clearly I don't know how to manage quotes - but my response was in the quote - LOL!

Oh UmmZ - I hadn't read this before I replied. I'm so sorry you've had alot of stress at all but maybe we can support each other a bit to get ourselves back on track? I know there is no miracle to doing it - we just have to start. Its the starting I have a hard time with because I'm so angry at myself.

[gabrielle2014 38]

Thanks Surfer. Man - I think just hearing that maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am is helping me already. I keep telling myself I haven't gained and so it can't be that bad but its just the stress eating and the snacking and not working out. But you're right - I need to schedule in the workouts and join a gym. I'd love to find a pool to swim in but I live on the cape and its hard to find.

Anyway - THANK YOU!

This is helping me quite a bit. Maybe its just letting go of the shame of it all that helps. Admitting it "out there."

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

It sounds to me like you are doing quite well in the weight loss department! For most of us, losing the last 20 or 40 pounds is a real bear! I feel like I had to do hand to hand combat with each of those last 40#!

I think you recognize, the real issue is maintenance. I have been in maintenance since Feb 2013 and frankly, it was pretty easy at first. Alot of what you read on these forums is people talking about how "easy" it is. What I experienced, and what I have noticed with other vets is that it gets harder after about 3 years post op. By year 5, many people have regained some of their weight. That is a statistical fact. It does not mean they are failures because they are still way better off than preop!

Like you, I wanted more. I don't want to be obese again. I don't need to be "skinny" but I want to be normal. It is all I ever wanted and now that I have it, I will fight like heck to maintain it. I will be 4 years post sleeve in December and still down about 150# from my starting weight, still in single digit clothes etc.

So, why do people have problems longer term? i don't think there is one answer, but what I can tell is you don't need to be "off program" by very much to start experiencing gains. A few extra glasses of wine a week, a few chips, eating bigger meals ( you know, like everyone else eats!), late night refridgerator raids, soda... whatever your nemesis is. I surely do not have the answer, but my own personal experiece is that facing bad habits in the first 12-18 months post op seems to give people the best chance. It is still the so called "honeymoon period".

Longer term, I have found that I have good hunger control, good feeling of restriction but ONLY if i follow my "rules". Protein first, eat small portions always, don't graze, stay hydrated etc. When I went down a track of eating "whatever" - my hunger went through the roof. This may not apply to everyone, but it is critcal for me.

Good luck - you can do this!

[lealor 127]

@@Inner Surfer Girl great advice!!! We are all human. First thing to change is to accept you have to make a change. Tomorrow is a new day. If we keep stuck in our mistakes, then we don't move foreward., I felt like that the past 2 years and kept getting fatter and fatter, guilt keeps us stuck... ( yes I am reading this myself for myself too) .:-)

[Chrystee 838]

Instead of beating yourself up and blaming yourself, make a plan. What exercise will you do on each day, and what will it be.. 3 times a day walk 10 minutes if you can.. Whatever you can do.. and get back on track.. Track your foods. You can do this.

[MrsSugarbabe 727]

You definitely are not alone!! I've been in a holding pattern for about 4 months now. Still working plan, exercising, and drinking as much Water as I can. I guess I'll be like some others who will have to fight tooth and nail to lose the last 40+ lbs.

[gabrielle2014 38]

Boy I cannot tell you how much this has helped me. Thank you all so much. I think I also need to connect more here and keep it more in my life. I became so excited to be more "normal" that I sort of don't follow threads and boards anymore but then I go home and I do have popcorn and I do have soda some mornings. And you know - I feel much worse because of it.

But I love the idea that I'm STILL in my honeymoon period - that it is not too late for me to really get into the good habits I need to. I know that I am so much more hungry and irritable when I snack and eat sugar. And so I need to get back into a place where I don't have those things. Keep these posts coming - this is helping me so much!! others too maybe. THANK YOU!

[Renkoss 420]

Just read through this whole post and I am just in the beginning of this journey. So, I haven't had surgery yet. I'm still going through the appointments and consults. However, this story grabbed my attention because this is one of my fears of having this surgery. I don't ever want to go back to old ways. I've already given up a lot of things because of being diabetic. The older I get, the more difficult the diabetes is to control. I take insulin and the insulin causes weight gain. I quit eating carbs and did really well with giving up carbs and sugar stuff. However about almost a year ago my blood sugar numbers started going all kind of whacky. I have not been able to get control back since. I quit smoking over 1-1/2 years ago because of the diabetes as well. I'm so tired of giving things up and nothing changing for the better. This story grabbed me because I don't want to have this dilemma after going through all the appointments, surgery, and the whole liquid to pureed to solid food diet following surgery.

I just want to be healthy. I think you are doing wonderful, but my only suggestion would be to quit buying popcorn and chocolate and keeping it available to eat. Keep only the healthy foods and put them in single serve sizes. I try to keep all bad food out of my house. If we host a party or picnic, I will have the foods here for that occasion, but at the end if someone doesn't take the leftovers, they get trashed. I cannot afford to have bad stuff hanging around the house, because if its there, I'll eat it.

Hope that helps. Good Luck!

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

Keep in mind you didn't start terribly heavy...so it would naturally be easier for you to arrive and linger at your first stall. But I think you've fared quite excellently.