Big Secret

[ambrosia916 9]

So I haven't told anyone except my husband and a co-worker that I am going to have surgery. It's so hard not to be able to tell my friends and family but I know what they will say..... "You don't need that, just eat less" "you just need to exercise more". "Just be happy the way you are" "You're not THAT big". I don't want to hear any of it. They will try to talk me out of it. I feel like I'm living a big lie. I will have to tell them at some point but I think I will do it right before the surgery. Anyone else have similar situations?

[Djmohr 6,965]

I am totally with you! It is none of their business anyway and you don't need that added pressure.

I told my husband and children.

[cendella170 41]

I'm like you, I kept my circle very small of people I've told. I don't want to hear the same things; you're not that big, just eat less, yadda yadda yadda. Remember that you're doing this for you. It's not a lie, this is your life and you have the right to keep some things private. I plan on telling people if everything goes well and I am approved.

[Cervidae 2,389]

I have not told many people either. Now, 6 weeks post op and about 30 pounds down, if anyone in my life notices I tell them I've been exercising and being very careful with food. Which I was doing anyway before surgery, only now I'm actually losing weight. XD You have no responsibility to tell anyone you don't want to tell. It's no one's business besides yours and your significant other, and even then, it's WAY more about you. You do what you feel is the right thing and everyone else can either support you or learn to deal with the fact that it's not their body and not their choice. :-)

[Astrosgirl 96]

I believe it's your choice who you tell! I chose to tell my co workers and friends and of course I got the usual rhetoric.. Your not big enough..try this new diet.. This is surgery and it's extreme to go to that length just to lose weight.. Whatever. They all know I will do what I want and this decision is one that I made with the very best education and research.

Who cares what people think. Go us for changing our lives!! I wish I would have done it sooner, and I am not at all ashamed of the path I have chosen to take me there!

[Namaste6 82]

I too am planning on keeping my surgery quiet. Around 2 years ago, I had a cousin go through bariatric surgery; the majority of my family was unsupportive, made horrible comments about him behind his back saying "He took the easy way out" or "He didn't try anything" when he tried VERY hard.

Luckily, I moved to Hawaii with my husband within the past year, so I won't have to worry about seeing family and friends from the east coast more than twice a year really. I spoke to a woman at my support group who said she told people the first year that she was doing a strict diet with medical help and supervision including high Protein, low carb, and exercise plan (which is technically true...).

I am not ashamed of getting the surgery AT ALL. But I feel like once I tell someone other than my immediate family that from then on the only conversations we will ever have is "So, about that surgery...". I don't want to have the negativity or the snide remarks. We are all doing this to better our health and our lifestyle.

We should feel empowered by our decision to get surgery, not ashamed or have the feeling that we are being criticized/judged.

[PinkieD 27]

My life is an open book. I have told work, friends and family and have received nothing but support. I plan on using all of them post op as a huge support system. I feel very lucky.

[ImBringingLisaBack RNY 70]

I hear ya! Other than my husband and my children I already regret telling a couple of people. It's hard because I am an open book, but good grief if those closest to you don't get it!

Yes, I know I'll have to change my eating habits. Yep, I know I'll have some lose skin. Aha, I'll still have to work at it. Absolutely, I know if I'm not careful I can gain it all back. ugh!

WTH is wrong with people. Those closest to me KNOW how many times I've tried on my own. And they also know that my BIGGEST and number 1 concern is my health! (looong history of heart disease on my both sides of my family. My dad died of a massive heart attack at 61! And he was 100 lbs lighter and healthier than I am at 45!

If I could go back I would have only told my husband and my kids.

Hang in there, you KNOW you are doing the best thing for yourself and that's really all that matters.

[ambrosia916 9]

I hear ya! Other than my husband and my children I already regret telling a couple of people. It's hard because I am an open book, but good grief if those closest to you don't get it!

Yes, I know I'll have to change my eating habits. Yep, I know I'll have some lose skin. Aha, I'll still have to work at it. Absolutely, I know if I'm not careful I can gain it all back. ugh!

WTH is wrong with people. Those closest to me KNOW how many times I've tried on my own. And they also know that my BIGGEST and number 1 concern is my health! (looong history of heart disease on my both sides of my family. My dad died of a massive heart attack at 61! And he was 100 lbs lighter and healthier than I am at 45!

If I could go back I would have only told my husband and my kids.

Hang in there, you KNOW you are doing the best thing for yourself and that's really all that matters.

Sounds like we have a lot in common. My dad died in June of a heart attack. My mom lost her leg to Peripheral Artery Disease 3 years ago and had her first heart attack at 59. My family history with CVD is scarier than any surgery. I have 5 children and I want to live to see their children.

Where are you in the process??

[ImBringingLisaBack RNY 70]

It's so scary, isn't it? Thankfully we have this tool.

My surgeon's office submitted my file for approval to Cigna this week and I should have an answer on Monday! Can't wait!

How about you?

[ambrosia916 9]

I had my one on one with my surgeon today, I have 2 more dietitian appointments and should be ready in December. I have BS of CA and Cigna as secondary. I'm hoping all goes smoothly. I barely have a 40 BMI and no co-morbidities.