To Tell or Not To Tell?

[ellie123 374]

Weight loss is such a personal journey...a hairball of the bliss of eating favorite foods, complex emotions, compulsions, defeating behaviors, shame, embarrassment, resentment, and the list goes on and on. No one wants to admit that they can't control what goes into their mouth. I'm coming up on my surgery Nov 2nd...and frankly, if I could, I would tell no one at all! Some of it is the former, but also, from having my lapband surgery, it added sooo much pressure, having people watch everything I ate, asking me how much weight I've lost each time I saw them, saying insensitive comments and remarks, etc...and then it was what they did not say, as I put the weight back on slowly but surely...I could almost hear what they were thinking while watching me eat. My mother falls into the category of people I don't want to tell. I love her dearly, but she's a stoic, non understanding person, who, when I had the lapband, called up each and every one of her thousands of friends to "in confidence" express her fears over my decision, and to ask their opinion. I was mortified at how many people knew, way before I was willing to share...

When I loose weight, folks will surely ask how, and I'm not sure how to circumvent lying. I don't want to be dishonest, but then again, I don't feel like I need to share my personal and medical choices with certain folks... I will need all my mental energy to focus on learning to use this tool to loose weight, rather than appease peoples curiosity and deal with their remarks and opinions.

So in short, just wondering, if you decided to tell or not to tell. And if not, how you coup with the inevitable questions that will come.

[simply.me.vsg 6]

I've decided not to tell anyone but close friends and family members as well. Luckily I've had stomach issues in the past that I can use to justify the weight loss. I don't feel like hearing anyone's thoughts or opinions about what I choose to do to lose weight.

[1212bella 4]

I have asked myself this question also. And have decided that I am only telling my other half and my older sister. Both I believe will be supportive. I am not telling my mother. My mother would stress me out. Try and talk me out of it. My mother has always been over weight. And doesn't think I need to loss weight. She would be on the phone and at my door every two minutes. And if I was having a off day she would be all "I told you you shouldn't of gone ahead with WLS! Like you I am also having a sleeve November 2nd.

I have come to the concision after thinking about it. That I don't want to answer a million and one question. Or be judged by other for my choice. I think it's a personal journey and like you said it's a tool. So when people ask how have you lost weight?

I will telling people i have cut down on my food intake and started to excise. I am not lying to anyone because I will be cutting down on my food intake and excising. I am just not telling the whole truth! It's just my choice not to tell people every aspect of my life.

[avocadoPAK 13]

I'm getting this done in one week. I told like 3-5 friends and most of all my family knows . But there's still a lot of friends I have that I don't know how to build the urge to discuss them my medical & personal stuff. I'm nervous to see how it's going to work out . Glad to see I'm not the only one that's going thru this

I just turned 21 how old are you guys ?

[CreatingTaylor 35]

@@avocadoPAK I am 21 as well. I have not told anyone besides my close family (although they aren't too fond of it) and my girlfriend (who is supportive and happy for me).

Being younger is tough because a lot of people think I have not thought this through or that I should just keep trying to lose weight naturally but I have been overweight since childhood. I'm so excited to get my sleeve but I will definitely be keeping it to myself.

[newmebithebypass 713]

I've only told 3 friends my hubby and my hubby side of the family I also told my dad and pcp but I've gotten nothing but support which is refreshing

[Dub 9,922]

I involved my family and sought advice from them.

I decided to tell the closer associates at work as they would certainly figure it out anyway.....that I'd gone out for hernia surgery and came back 3-4 weeks later much a great deal lighter.......weight loss continuing at a rate they've never seen anyone loose at......

It seemed silly to conjure up some type of cover story. Heck, that would most likely have even more questions being asked, "Oh, you are on a serious diet.......wow, you've lost 100 lbs and are losing 100 more ???.........wow, what are you eating.....how does it work.......etc......etc.......etc.".

Being upfront may just stop all the questions.....or many of them at least.

If they tell other folks, then so be it. I'm not doing this for social reasons but for my health.

Folks will either understand and support me or they won't.

I do know of 3 folks at work who struggle like I do and each has the financial means to do the same thing I did. Maybe they'll be the ones asking the lion's share of questions which I will gladly answer for them. They each could benefit hugely from weight loss.

[Yaberhoo 358]

Due to my own screw up, I ended up having to tell my sisters. My mother, my bosses, and two friends are the only ones who know. I choose to keep this a secret. How have you lost weight? Strictly controlled low carb/high Protein eating. Not a lie. I've started/increased my exercise. Not a lie.

I would advise you not to tell your mom until you are well on your way in weight loss and past a majority of any off days. She will have less to harp about if you are already down 60 or so pounds.

Not being fully truthful sucks, but if that is going to prevent unsupportive behavior, bring it on. You need to be surrounded by support, not criticism.

[LetItGo 73]

I am 51 and my sleeve gastrectomy should be scheduled in the next month. I have told my husband, my sister (who had the sleeve done 1 year ago) and my three physicians who had to clear me. I am telling my co-workers that I am having hiatal hernia repair because they will be suspicious of my diet and weight loss if I don't tell them something. I think I'm afraid to tell a lot of people in case it doesn't work...kind of like fear of the unknown. But after a year, if I've lost down to my goal, I may share on an individual basis mostly with those that I think might benefit from the surgery themselves.

[shellyd88 463]

You are in control of who knows what about you u are not obligated to disclose anything you can say a more healthy diet which is true low fat low carb low sugar etc you do not have to give ppl any reason to gossip it's not their darn business in the first place it's not lying to not inform ppl you had surgery now if you deny having surgery and say it's just diet that's a lie however you still have no obligation to tell anyone anything u don't want to tell its your life not theirs simply say I'm making some changes and leave at that I don't talk about it to ppl but if asked I say yes I had surgery I'm not ashamed of it and I do not care what what anyone thinks it's my body my health my mobility and my business if ppl want to get into negative crap with me I say I didn't ask for nor do I need or want your opinion thank you but then I'm a bitch like that when ppl get in my business lol

[ididit34 91]

I had a lapband that I recently had removed and I now getting the gastric sleeve. I didn't have problem telling my family members and a few close work associates about my new surgery. I have about two co-workers who've had the gastric bypass who openly discussed their surgery with me (both of which I was genuinely surprised had WLS). I know people talk, and I know a couple of co-workers that I didn't tell display a sort of desire to ask the question. Since I know people sometimes talk, I made a general statement that I don't ask people their numbers and I hope I don't have to be rude to anyone who ask me mines because I feel if you're rude enough to ask me questions about a matter I never personally discussed with you...then I'm rude enough to put you in your place.