Has anyone lost a loved one recently?

[inkie 30]

My Dad died at the end of July after a long battle with cancer. He never approved of me having wls mainly because he thought it was too drastic. While he was ill myself & my Mum discussed wls & she agreed to help me after he passed away, she knew how I much I wanted & needed help.

Mum has expressed that she is a little worried that my wls (Novemeberish) will be too soon after his death & I may not have worked things through. I have always resorted to comfort eating, so I think she's worried how I will cope when I can't do this anymore.

Has anyone had the surgery soon after losing a loved one, how did it effect things?

Edited September 29, 2015 by inkie

[TealSister 296]

My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer in January 2014 - it was the most horrendous thing I have ever witnessed. I started the WLS process in August of 2014. My dad didn't want me to tell mom about it, but she overheard me say "surgery" so I told her and she smiled. She passed away on December 12, 2014 and I had surgery on 3/26/15. I know she has been with me every step of the way.

Have you been through counseling at all? Everyone goes through the grieving process differently, so it's hard to say when will be the "right" time. Just make sure you have a support system in place.

For me, after helplessly watching my mom being ravaged by cancer, the opportunity to control something in life has been very therapeutic. I have many, many struggles still but the quality of life is so much better now.

Best wishes and sorry for your loss.

[inkie 30]

My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 brain cancer in January 2014 - it was the most horrendous thing I have ever witnessed. I started the WLS process in August of 2014. My dad didn't want me to tell mom about it, but she overheard me say "surgery" so I told her and she smiled. She passed away on December 12, 2014 and I had surgery on 3/26/15. I know she has been with me every step of the way.

Have you been through counseling at all? Everyone goes through the grieving process differently, so it's hard to say when will be the "right" time. Just make sure you have a support system in place.

For me, after helplessly watching my mom being ravaged by cancer, the opportunity to control something in life has been very therapeutic. I have many, many struggles still but the quality of life is so much better now.

Best wishes and sorry for your loss.

Thanks so much for replying Teal.. I'm so sorry about your Mum. I agree, watching someone die from Cancer is just the worst experience I've ever encountered.

I bet you're really glad she found out & approved, I'm sure she'd want the absolute best for you, I'm sure that's what my Dad would have wanted but the idea of surgery scared him.

I've had one session of counselling, my doctor was worried because I wasn't outwardly grieving, I shed the odd tear, but not bawled my eyes out. Maybe it's because he was ill for such a long time (a year that I knew about but 2 years all in all) maybe I came to terms with it & realised it was the best outcome. We had a strange relationship, he only told me he loved me just before he died, he never showed any emotion towards me really. Maybe I get that from him too. I was told that I was grieving in my own way & it was all perfectly natural but if I need anyone to talk to I can ring them anytime, so that's nice to know

I think you're right about control, I'm pleased to think that I can finally control this part of my life, overeating is (was) such a massive part of my life. Time to start living other parts of my life with gusto!