How SAD is this?

[magicalwoman 190]

I had my surgery on September 9, 2015.

I lost about 17 pounds on my presurgery diet, and about 13 since surgery. I'm averaging about a pound or so a day. I'm happy.

My goal weight would be about 160 or so. I DO NOT want to be a twig!

So this is what a popular website says about my goal weight: (depressing)

Your Body Mass Index (BMI) is 27.5 Kg/m². This means your weight is within the Overweight range.

Your current BMI is greater than the recommended range of 18.5 to 24.9.
To be within the right range for your height, your ideal weight should be between 108 lbs and 145 lbs. Being overweight increases your risk of developing coronary heart disease, as well as other health conditions such as diabetes. Keeping to a healthy weight will help you control your blood pressure and cholesterol levels. You lose weight if the amount of energy coming into your body is less than what is being used up by your body. Aim to exercise more and eat a healthy balanced diet. For individualised medical and dietary advice consult your GP and Dietitian.

We are so appauled when girls are anorexic or bulimic, yet instead of encouraging good eating, healthy eating and good exercise, we still promote the STUPID BMI which turns us into twigs.

Why are we doing this? I guess after my long, long journey I will remain over weight!

[Babbs 14,681]

Yeah, it's pretty much a well known fact that the BMI chart is flawed. It doesn't take into consideration several factors; Muscle mass, bone density, fat distribution etc....

That being said, I chose a goal weight sorta based on it just as a general marker. I've also been this weight before, and knew I felt pretty good at it. At 5'5" and 147 pounds, (high "normal" range of BMI) I hardly consider myself a "twig" either. I look and feel very healthy.

[AvaFern 3,516]

I can appreciate that the BMI chart is problematic because it doesn't take into account a lot of things, however I am right in the middle of my suggested weight and I am by no means a twig. If you are happy at 160, then more power to you, but someone who is my height (5'3) and weighs 125 is not anorexic, bullimic or a twig and there are plenty of people at the low range in the 110 region who simply have a body type that is very small. I am not a really small girl and yet I fit into extra small clothing, which really makes me wonder...how do Asians dress themselves? Our society has gotten to a point where people can be just as rude to small people as they are to big people, and I don't tend to find either extreme acceptable. I used to roll my eyes when a friend of mine who is exactly the same height and weight as I am now complained about having a fat day or cellulite and yet there are plenty of days where I feel a little bloaty and my butt looks like cottage cheese. Just because I weigh within the required BMI does not mean that I am too small and I honestly wouldn't mind weighing about 5 pounds less because I prefer to be smaller. We all have different understanding of what it means to look good at our own size and the only person who has the right to judge us, is us.

So, while I don't tend to get offended by comments posted online because I don't think that in the vast majority of circumstances offense is the intended objective, keep in mind it is just as rude to call a woman who is at a healthy weight (as defined by BMI) a twig as it is to call someone who is over the BMI overweight, or fat. I do not know a single woman who wakes up every single day and feels like she is hot. Every single one of us has insecurities, so I believe that if you are thin, if you are average, or if you are fat, it's up to you to be happy in your own skin, not to judge someone else as being anorexic, bullimic, or a pig, simply because of your own preconceptions. Men and society are mean enough to women...there is no need for us to be mean to each other.

[del112 62]

@magical woman. I understand your position, where you are coming from and what you wanted to convey by or through your post.

[Beachsprite 118]

I get both sides of this, I don't see myself getting down to a normal BMi - the lower end of overweight I can see myself at as i've been that before so my goal weight is there.

I think on the other hand our perception of what is skinny and other words sued is skewed, those are mostly normal body types and as we've gotton bigger as nations our view of normal is distorted from what it's been for the human race for thousands of year,

BMI only really doesn't work for those with extremely dense bones (youy need a DEXA scan to find this out) And those with large muscle mass. Me and my husband had DEXA scans done - i always thought i had big hips etc but once i saw the body mass i saw i had a tiny skelton, with a bit of muscle and a hell of a lot of fat!!!!

My husband on the other hand is Polynesian and has massive muscle mass without working out much and bone density that was literally off the of the hospital's chart - hence BMI would not work for him but would be more applicable for me.

Yet I've been overweight so long I just can't imagine myself within those ranges - but who knows!

[magicalwoman 190]

Great conversation! Y'all have no idea how much I appreciate the view points, it really makes you take a look at your comments or how you describe a certain situation.

I meant NO offense at all. Women and men are beautiful creatures and we each hold such power, wisdom, warmth and spirit.

I hope everyone knows that I simply meant that the BMI scale is certainly tainted.

Large or small, tall or short, we all love and deserve love in return.

Blessings to each of you.

[bellabloom 2,467]

I find this a little offensive. I'm a twig and I love it!! What's wrong with wanting to be skinny? I'm healthy and have so much energy.

It's really a personal decision. What a person should weigh to be healthy is based on studies that show at what point weight becomes a factor in poor health and health risks. All the BMI is saying is that to be out of that risky zone, this is what you should weigh.

It's not a looks thing. It's a health thing.

And if your doing the surgery for the best health you can have, I would think this would be a concern to you.

That said, it's widely discussed and known that BMI can be off because it's really about percentage of body fat. You can have low body fat and still be a high BMI. But because of your low body fat, you aren't risking health dangers. You are out of range, but no, your not actually overweight.

Then again, with a low body fat, you may end up looking like a "twig". Although I seriously doubt at the upper end of that range you will come even close to looking too skinny.

What I'm trying to say is put your health first. And there is every chance you will gain weight back in the further so it may be a big mistake to stop before you have reached a healthy weight.

Edited September 29, 2015 by bellabloom

[magicalwoman 190]

I find this a little offensive. I'm a twig and I love it!! What's wrong with wanting to be skinny? I'm healthy and have so much energy.

It's really a personal decision. What a person should weigh to be healthy is based on studies that show at what point weight becomes a factor in poor health and health risks. All the BMI is saying is that to be out of that risky zone, this is what you should weigh.

It's not a looks thing. It's a health thing.

And if your doing the surgery for the best health you can have, I would think this would be a concern to you.

That said, it's widely discussed and known that BMI can be off because it's really about percentage of body fat. You can have low body fat and still be a high BMI. But because of your low body fat, you aren't risking health dangers. You are out of range, but no, your not actually overweight.

Then again, with a low body fat, you may end up looking like a "twig". Although I seriously doubt at the upper end of that range you will come even close to looking too skinny.

What I'm trying to say is put your health first. And there is every chance you will gain weight back in the further so it may be a big mistake to stop before you have reached a healthy weight.

This WAS NOT meant to be offensive. If someome chooses to be a size 2, 3, 4, etc and this makes them happpy...MORE POWER to them, that is their choice. What I said is I DO NOT CHOOSE to be a twig.............or should I say that small. If you do then I applaud you for that. Offensive is when someone takes your words and twists them to make it sound offensive.

In our world today we put way too much emphasis on being a size and not enough on being a happy person.

This is why these young girls purge and end up in severe health trouble. Then we ask why. Shouldn't we be proactive?

Happy travels to you. I hope you find happiness and acceptance of varying viewpoints.

Blessings.

[bellabloom 2,467]

"We are so appauled when girls are anorexic or bulimic, yet instead of encouraging good eating, healthy eating and good exercise, we still promote the STUPID BMI which turns us into twigs."

The part that bothered me was this: equating being a twig with being anorexic or bulimic. And I just HAVE To disagree with you. The BMI, at the higher ranges for ones height, does not twig status make! At 145 for my height, I would not be a twig!! Far from it. I would, on the other hand, be healthy.

I think the BMI serves it purpose of giving people a goal for health. It's been backed up by medical science and while there are exceptions (rare) we as weight loss patients got into this for our health and should abide by our doctors orders and strive to be within a healthy weight range, looks aside.

Now, I'm not trying to be mean or unsupportive. I hear your feelings on the subject and I respect your wanting to look fuller figured than the BMI range would allow. Ultimately of course it's your decision for yourself. I don't think you were trying to be offensive- but I hope you can see how your tone in the post could hurt little twig me.

"In our world today we put way too much emphasis on being a size and not enough on being a happy person."

I just find this to be a difficult statement for this forum. After all, we are all here because we let our weight get out of control and that stole some if not all of our happiness! Most of us could not live healthy, happy, full lives with our weight out of hand. Being within a healthy weight range is part of achieving more happiness through our health. So yes- being a size matters. A healthy size! Within a range our doctors recommend.

Edited September 30, 2015 by bellabloom

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Interesting and worthwhile topic and discussion.

My original weight goal was 150 pounds -- at 5'5". That was just a hair above "normal" on the BMI scale.

So I reached my 150 pound goal. And then 149. And over the last 5 months, although I was eating a lot of food (1700 calories/day), I kept losing slowly. I now weigh just a hair under 140 pounds.

I never thought I'd lose these last 10 pounds. But I have to say that I feel SO much better at 140 than I did at 150. I'm really surprised. For instance, the difference in how my knees feel is amazing. I have terrible osteoarthritis and was headed for a double knee replacement surgery over a year ago. Now my docs say, "Forget about the surgery. You don't need it!"

I can walk so fast! And so far! Without pain. I haven't take any NSAIDs since June 2014.

I'm wearing sizes 8 and 6, which I never imagined would fit me. And as we all know, sizes 6 and 8 are a lot bigger than they were 30-40 years ago.

Shockingly, I don't feel like "a twig." I thought I would. But I think that's because I hadn't been this weight in so long. When your "slimmest" weight in decades has been 165 (my situation), it's hard to imagine that 140 is healthy or sustainable.

Please understand I'm speaking for myself -- and not for others.

Because of my age (I'm almost 70) I'm not interested in weighing 130 or even 135. I need a little more weight to keep my face "fluffed out."

For now, 140 is just fine.

[Babbs 14,681]

I'm going to play devils advocate here.

I do see what the OP is saying. In the 18 months I've been on this forum, I've seen many people who are just starting out with the surgery proclaiming how all they want is to become a healthy weight, then turn it into a "How skinny can I get" contest the closer they get to goal. Frankly, it's disturbing. They go from one eating disorder to another on the spectrum. Heck, I'm a little guilty of it. I see people the same height weighing less than me and think "Well, if they can get down to x, then why can't I?"

Some of us almost get addicted to losing weight. I've been in weight loss mode for well over a year, and it's a hard habit to break. But I'm not afraid to eat, and I don't go off the rails over normal weight flucations my body does. I'm not obsessed with being as thin as I can get. If I lose the 5-7 pound bounce I want, so be it. If I don't, I'm at a healthy, sustainable weight I'm happy with. I'm afraid that if I go too low, it won't be realistically sustainable. And I refuse to live like that.

[bellabloom 2,467]

I'm going to play devils advocate here.

I do see what the OP is saying. In the 18 months I've been on this forum, I've seen many people who are just starting out with the surgery proclaiming how all they want is to become a healthy weight, then turn it into a "How skinny can I get" contest the closer they get to goal. Frankly, it's disturbing. They go from one eating disorder to another on the spectrum. Heck, I'm a little guilty of it. I see people the same height weighing less than me and think "Well, if they can get down to x, then why can't I?"

Some of us almost get addicted to losing weight. I've been in weight loss mode for well over a year, and it's a hard habit to break. But I'm not afraid to eat, and I don't go off the rails over normal weight flucations my body does. I'm not obsessed with being as thin as I can get. If I lose the 5-7 pound bounce I want, so be it. If I don't, I'm at a healthy, sustainable weight I'm happy with. I'm afraid that if I go too low, it won't be realistically sustainable. And I refuse to live like that.

You're right of course Babbs. It's not healthy to push the limits on how thin one can get! Dropping BELOW the BMI chart lowest weight is no Bueno!! I myself, as I'm sure you know, am working on maintainence and letting go of wanting to continue to lose.

But this isn't the discussion we are having. The OP isn't talking about not wanting to be at the low end of the BMI table. She's saying she doesn't want to be within the BMI table at all. She wants to weigh above the recommended weight for her height, to remain overweight by medical standards. Because she feels that even at the high end of the BMI table, people look like "twigs". She is saying she believes the BMI table to be wrong and to encourage extreme weightloss and a body type that is too skinny.

I disagree with that, I believe the BMI table to be correct because it's founded in medical science and rooted in health.

If the Op wants to remain medically overweight, even after this surgery- that's her decision. But I do not agree that the rest of the posters on here are misguided to want to fall into a healthy weight range based on the BMI table.

The BMI table is an excellent guideline for our health and since our goal is health, beyond aesthetics, we should desire to fall within the range recommended to us.

Edited September 30, 2015 by bellabloom

[Babbs 14,681]

@@bellabloom

All good points!

[jess9395 5,449]

There's a lot of research saying a better measure of weight for health predictors is this:

http://www.shapefit.com/calculators/waist-to-height-ratio-calculator.html

Because it is focused more on Viceral fat which is the least healthy (fat around our organs) and less skewed by a very high or low body fat percentage, which as has been said the BMI is (don't even get me started on that--in CA our HS students must pass a physical fitness test and how fast they are required to run a mile is based on BMI, the higher it is the faster they have to run--OK for those with a high BMI due to muscle, nigh impossible for the overweight/obese!)

I often say I was born in the wrong time--when I was fat it was fat shaming, now that I wear a 2/4 it's skinny shaming society is focused on. Megan Trainor's "All About that Base" celebrates her curves while slamming the "skinny bitches." Layne Bryant's "No Angels" campaign slamms the Victoria Secret models. I know the original poster meant no offense, but you can get a little sensitive when society is full of those messages.

Like VSGAnn above I lost way past where I thought I would! I aimed for 160-65ish because that's the most recent place I felt good. Honestly my body had other ideas and it was truly hard to stop until I got to 135 and my body found a balance there. It's honestly hard for me to gain or lose away from that new set point now so sometimes we aren't in control. And like VSGAnn I am amazed, I feel so much better at 135 than I did at 165. I feel stronger more agile and flexible and just comfortable in my body in a way I never did before. Ever. My exercise plan is a big part of that (I run 20-30 miles a week and do yoga 3-4x a week which has given me an 18% body fat).

So to the OP, you may be surprised. You may not know where "there" is till you get "there" and you may not be a twig. I sure as heck am not a twig at 135 and a size 2/4. I have curves (32DDD) and muscles and a butt. I am stronger than ever before.

But yeah there can be that cross addiction to losing weight. I had a period of time where I did wanna see "how low can I go?" Thought it would be interesting to see what being in the 120's was like.

It's sure an interesting process and we all go through different journeys. Let's remember that and be supportive of people who wind up a size 2 and those who wind up a size 12 as long as they are happy and healthy.

[bikrchk 1,313]

Ditto what @@AvaFern said. I am right in the middle of my suggested healthy weight range and I am by no means a twig too! I wear a 4 or 6 jeans, 6-10 dress depending on how its cut and weigh around 145 pounds at 5'6". This is what healthy looks like. I'd never seen it before, and it took some getting used to, but I'm used to it now and wouldn't trade my good health for anything! The flaws in BMI calculation really come to light with highly muscular males as they tend to weigh a lot for their height. For the average female I think it's a decent tool.