Having 2nd thoughts

[Onelife 128]

I am scheduled for surgery on 10/15/15. However, I keep wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have lost and gained hundreds of pounds over my life. Part of me says just lose it and stay strong enough to keep it off this time. Then I will also not have the pain and side effects of surgery. Another part of me says I have never been able to keep the weight off before and if I lose weight and gain it back, I have lost that time. Maybe the sleeve will help me keep it off. I'm so conflicted in my mind. I need to lose 90 to 100 lbs. Did anyone else go through this? Thx.

[alejcerra 12]

I am scheduled for surgery on 10/15/15. However, I keep wondering if I am doing the right thing. I have lost and gained hundreds of pounds over my life. Part of me says just lose it and stay strong enough to keep it off this time. Then I will also not have the pain and side effects of surgery. Another part of me says I have never been able to keep the weight off before and if I lose weight and gain it back, I have lost that time. Maybe the sleeve will help me keep it off. I'm so conflicted in my mind. I need to lose 90 to 100 lbs. Did anyone else go through this? Thx.

I've debated WLS for 7 years...yes 7 years. Like you I have lost and gained and lost again and gained again. It's taken having 2 children to open my eyes to reconsider. I originally I went to be seen for what I thought was gallbladder pains, it turned out to be gallbladder and fatty liver disease bothering me, and my PCM suggested WLS. With WLS I can reverse the fatty liver on top of learning new healthy food and exercise habits that my children will grow up with and hopefully pass on to their children. It's worth it to have this tool. I think my only regret with getting it is waiting the 7 years!

[Halfagain 68]

Maybe a pros and cons list would help. I'm sure you have researched and have lots of knowledge on various weight loss processes or diets. I hope you find your certainty for your journey whichever path it takes.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

My advice...give it one last try to lose and maintain. You will either be wildly successful and not need WLS, or your doubts will disappear. I firmly believe that one of my success factors was knowing that I had tried everything and I damn well was gonna make this sleeve thing work!

[rusty780 9]

I am scheduled on Oct 5, and have been having these exact same thoughts. I know that I can keep on my pre op diet until I drop the weight, and keep it half of it off for a couple of years. The question I ask myself is what then, years of eating poorly again until I get back to where I am now? One perspective I have come to see is that this is really a long-term issue and not the short game.

It does not change all of the fears of surgery, the pain, or never enjoying a great feast at a fantastic restaurant. It is hard to decide to take action to this level. However, I know that not eating consistently throughout the day, and then binge eating at night has been a huge problem for me. Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes.

[Onelife 128]

@@rusty780 - good insight. "Nothing changes if nothing changes"

[Tweety40 52]

I'm in the early stages of all the preop stuff. My first nut appointment is tomorrow. I actually have to fast for 4 hours before for some kind of test that measures the amount calories you take in. I've never heard of this. My situation is a bit different see I have been though all this before. I had all the preop stuff, and the 2 weeks all liquid diet before surgery and all the phases of the food after. Not to mention the recovery after the surgery. I had the lap band before and had to have it removed. I had lost 100 + and I have gained it all back since I had it removed. So I know what I'm in store for and I really hated It all. I just need to keep in mind the results are worth it. I keep on thinking if I really want to do all this again. So I totally understand.

[pinkjaybird 17]

I did a list of pros and cons. It was really helpful. All of my cons were just excuses that I tell myself to justify why it is okay to eat the way I do. And then I realized the cons are just thinking errors that allow me to stay the same. I don't want that anymore.... Time for a change. 20 years of being overweight and not having energy to do anything. I'm over it. My next 20 are gonna be "living free"!!!

[Onelife 128]

Thx for all the replies. I am leaning towards going through with it as I do want to live the rest of my life free from this weight. I want to do all the things that I never had the nerve to do because I am overweight. Tired of sitting on the sidelines. If I don't do it now, I figure I am just losing time since I am already 50. I will definitely need to make up my mind by 9/29 as I am self pay and that is when my payment is due! I hate going into debt for this, but hate being obese more.

[rusty780 9]

I must say that I am have some more serious second thoughts, since my previous post on here. I do not see a lot of people on here after they decide not to have surgery, so I thought I would post this incase I decide not to have VSG at this time.

I have done most of the pre-op diet, and accepted the fear of complications, and the head hunger that will remain. But as the day comes closer I cannot help but feel completely unsure. Not in the sense that I am lost, but that I would be alright either way. I am actually happier with my life than I have ever been; but wanted to get my weight in check as it is affecting my BP. Like all of us I cannot sum up my entire existence in paragraph, but I am thinking about giving myself a year to reconsider the possibilities. I really don't want to do this surgery or myself the disservice of having it just because I can, but rather because it is appropriate and necessary.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I stand by my previous comment. I think it pays to be sure.

I spent about a year in anguish over the decision to revise to the sleeve. I was in emotional pain but I think i worked through some food issues during that time. I mean I actually faced the question if food or life & good health was more important to me. I picked a healthy life and needed the sleeve to help me achieve it.

[The Candidate 3,215]

I agree with @@CowgirlJane that you have to be sure. Really sure. And if that means giving dieting another try to put your doubts to rest, then do it. The surgery isn't going anywhere.

My "moment" came after my best weight loss success. I got down to 130 pounds, and I loved my body, my vitality, my renewed energy. I even kept it off, on my own, for over a year. But my daily routine consisted of two things, and two things only: not eating much and exercising until I nearly passed out. I gave it everything I had, but clearly it wasn't feasibly sustainable long term. And I felt entirely helpless and dejected as the pounds (plus more) slowly piled back on.

When I made the decision to have weight loss surgery I had zero doubts. None. Over the year it took me to complete the insurance requirements, I never once wavered in my surety that this was the right thing for me. When my surgery day finally arrived I was calm and confident that I was doing the right thing.

Don't do it until you are absolutely sure it is the right step for you too. For me, I can tell you that I've had zero regrets. Good luck!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Every time I see a post like this -- "Even if I don't have WLS and never lost weight, I'm a happy, healthy person" -- I think this:

Fat people always get even fatter, grow older, develop more and more comorbidities, become less mobile, find fewer opportunities of all kinds in their lives and, as a result, become less and less happy.

To all those fat, happy people out there who think their life will always be that way, know this: in two years, five years, ten years, the quality of your life will be lower than it is now.

[rusty780 9]

We all need to stop - let's tie our self-esteem to our weight. Put all possibilities and moments of happiness on hold until we are thin enough to deserve it.

[The Candidate 3,215]

It's very hard to be happy and fat when you are hurting from sunrise to sunset, and all of it can be relayed directly or indirectly to your excess weight. I've been fat nearly all my life and I did okay up through my forties. But once my fifties rolled around my body declared an all out war. It will happen eventually. It's just a matter of time. For me, being in constant pain wasn't an option.