To tell or not to tell

[LVGhostgirl 84]

I have never told anyone! To me it is my business only.

[mskami77 295]

When I decided to have rny, I worked in patient safety and risk management in a hospital daily with doctors, nurses, pharmacists and dieticians on a personal level. I reported to a VP that had gastric bypass way back when and was somewhat against me doing it. I'm an open book and I like to hear opinions. Then I do my own research and say screw everyone I'll make my own decisions. I had several medically educated people try to talk me out of it but they all supported me in the end. Even after I moved across country they still check on me and lift me up when needed. Be true to you no matter what and those around you will come around. If it's not your nature to stand up for yourself then find at least 3 or 4 people you can trust to support you through the process.

[Yaberhoo 358]

I have only told my mom, one friend who will be travelling with me for my surgery, and my two bosses (the owners). I am pretty much the only employee at work so I needed to be straight with the owners so they could prepare for me being gone, and although I intend to go right back to work a week later, I may need flexibility if it's too much for me. They are nearly as excited as I am and I'm so lucky to have that support at work.

I have not told my sisters because they tend to be judgmental and I am not positive that they would support me. I keep flipping back and forth about telling my sisters or close friends, but as someone said above, you can't untell the secret. So I'm keeping my mouth shut. I would just like to start dropping the weight and shock everyone.

[cookies_queen 74]

It's not that I care what anyone thinks. People who know me would be shocked I didn't say anything I an open book. My weight gains and losses have been an emotional struggle not just physical. I really want to do this with our anyone in my head other than me. If that makes sense. My boys are 15&19 they know and are excited for me. My boyfriend is as well. It's not that I want to do it alone it's that I need to do this for me. I finally need to make something just about me.

[downsizingdiva 459]

I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT THE WORD "DECEPTIVE" BEING USED WHEN WE'RE TALKING ABOUT KEEPING IT A SECRET. IT IS NOT DECEPTIVE UNLESS YOU LIE. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHAT IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU DONE! I SAY LOW CARB AND STRICT Portion Control. THIS IS TOTALLY THE TRUTH AS I NEVER EVER EVER CHEAT AND I EAT ON A STRICT SCHEDULE. I COULD EASILY EAT THINGS THAT ARE UNACCEPTABLE AND I COULD EASILY EASILY OVER EAT BY EATING SLIDERS OR EATING WAY MORE OFTEN THAN I DO.

ANYWAY, IT'S GOOD TO HEAR YOU'RE KEEPING IT A SECRET. IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND LATER ON DOWN THE ROAD THEN FINE. BUT TRUST ME YOU DON'T NEED THE HEADACHE BEFORE AND AFTER SURGERY.

[SalOdyssey 441]

I told everyone. Hell I even created a public Facebook page about my journey. The support, love, messages and comments have been nothing shy of AWESOME!!! Family is super supportive, people in my community who I've talked to have been supportive. People from all over the world have been supportive. Next to no hateful/hurtful comments.

I don't mind the questions. I answer them open and freely.

I was shocked frankly at how supportive my friends and family were and are. Some have even said I've inspired them to tackle their weight or things they've neglected. That alone besides losing the weight myself, has been super rewarding. I never thought I'd inspire people in the sense that I have. It's truly a humbling feeling.

[LoseItKacy 347]

I told everyone. Hell I even created a public Facebook page about my journey. The support, love, messages and comments have been nothing shy of AWESOME!!! Family is super supportive, people in my community who I've talked to have been supportive. People from all over the world have been supportive. Next to no hateful/hurtful comments.

I don't mind the questions. I answer them open and freely.

I was shocked frankly at how supportive my friends and family were and are. Some have even said I've inspired them to tackle their weight or things they've neglected. That alone besides losing the weight myself, has been super rewarding. I never thought I'd inspire people in the sense that I have. It's truly a humbling feeling.

I chose the same path. Honestly, I've had more backlash by other wls patients for not keeping my story a secret than I've EVER had from ANYONE for putting it all out there. Yes, I've had some negative comments but for every negative remark I've had about 5x the support. If I never gave people the opportunity to support me I would probably have no one at this point. The few people I initially planned on telling weren't nearly as supportive as the people I NEVER expected to support me. My family is coming around (I'm the only one in my family with a weight problem so it's hard for them to understand)

But I'm making the right decision for me. I want people to know that what I'm doing is a VALID form of weight loss and hopefully I can inspire someone who feels like there are no options for them like one person did for me. The only reason I am even here right now is because one person put their story out there and it happened to show up on my Facebook wall. Telling my story is my way of paying it forward!

[SalOdyssey 441]

I told everyone. Hell I even created a public Facebook page about my journey. The support, love, messages and comments have been nothing shy of AWESOME!!! Family is super supportive, people in my community who I've talked to have been supportive. People from all over the world have been supportive. Next to no hateful/hurtful comments.

I don't mind the questions. I answer them open and freely.

I was shocked frankly at how supportive my friends and family were and are. Some have even said I've inspired them to tackle their weight or things they've neglected. That alone besides losing the weight myself, has been super rewarding. I never thought I'd inspire people in the sense that I have. It's truly a humbling feeling.

I chose the same path. Honestly, I've had more backlash by other wls patients for not keeping my story a secret than I've EVER had from ANYONE for putting it all out there. Yes, I've had some negative comments but for every negative remark I've had about 5x the support. If I never gave people the opportunity to support me I would probably have no one at this point. The few people I initially planned on telling weren't nearly as supportive as the people I NEVER expected to support me. My family is coming around (I'm the only one in my family with a weight problem so it's hard for them to understand)

But I'm making the right decision for me. I want people to know that what I'm doing is a VALID form of weight loss and hopefully I can inspire someone who feels like there are no options for them like one person did for me. The only reason I am even here right now is because one person put their story out there and it happened to show up on my Facebook wall. Telling my story is my way of paying it forward!

Other WLS patient shamed you? WTH!?!?!? You'd think they'd be the most understanding. My philosophy is shame away. Why? I use it as fuel on the days where my ass doesn't want to get out of bed or hit the pool. I see those very few comments and say **** that and hit the pool twice as hard. I've always been the, knock me down 9 times, and I'll get up 10 times.

My mom is supportive but nervous. I'm her oldest son, and dad passed in the late 1990's. So she worries, but she wants me to get healthy and live again.

You keep kicking ass!! Take it one day at a time, and the haters... Well they can pound sand!

[LoseItKacy 347]

I told everyone. Hell I even created a public Facebook page about my journey. The support, love, messages and comments have been nothing shy of AWESOME!!! Family is super supportive, people in my community who I've talked to have been supportive. People from all over the world have been supportive. Next to no hateful/hurtful comments.

I don't mind the questions. I answer them open and freely.

I was shocked frankly at how supportive my friends and family were and are. Some have even said I've inspired them to tackle their weight or things they've neglected. That alone besides losing the weight myself, has been super rewarding. I never thought I'd inspire people in the sense that I have. It's truly a humbling feeling.

I chose the same path. Honestly, I've had more backlash by other wls patients for not keeping my story a secret than I've EVER had from ANYONE for putting it all out there. Yes, I've had some negative comments but for every negative remark I've had about 5x the support. If I never gave people the opportunity to support me I would probably have no one at this point. The few people I initially planned on telling weren't nearly as supportive as the people I NEVER expected to support me. My family is coming around (I'm the only one in my family with a weight problem so it's hard for them to understand)

But I'm making the right decision for me. I want people to know that what I'm doing is a VALID form of weight loss and hopefully I can inspire someone who feels like there are no options for them like one person did for me. The only reason I am even here right now is because one person put their story out there and it happened to show up on my Facebook wall. Telling my story is my way of paying it forward!

Other WLS patient shamed you? WTH!?!?!? You'd think they'd be the most understanding. My philosophy is shame away. Why? I use it as fuel on the days where my ass doesn't want to get out of bed or hit the pool. I see those very few comments and say **** that and hit the pool twice as hard. I've always been the, knock me down 9 times, and I'll get up 10 times.

My mom is supportive but nervous. I'm her oldest son, and dad passed in the late 1990's. So she worries, but she wants me to get healthy and live again.

You keep kicking ass!! Take it one day at a time, and the haters... Well they can pound sand!

Yup I've been told that I'm "asking for attention" and looking for "drama". I've also heard that I am "wrong" for throwing my personal business out there. That this is too much of a private manor to be discussing with others. (Which I totally understand but it's my choice?) Bunch of stuff.

I get frustrated a lot when I accept and respect people's decision to keep their surgery a secret but I can't get the same respect back when it comes to being public with my story.

I have a YouTube channel, it's on my Facebook, and I'm on tons of bariatric websites/forums. I am not hiding it from anyone.

I specifically wanted to be open about my story because things I went through to get me to this point in my life. No regrets. I can't wait for my surgery! Less than 5 days away!

[sparkles1971 47]

I didn't tell for the same reasons. But none of my inlaws know either for the same reason of judgement and saying it's the easy way out! We all know otherwise!!

[ski66 44]

I agree

[curvybritt 53]

I have told a select few of my friends at the office, and they have all been very supportive.

I have yet to have the surgery, but I have no problem telling people if they ask (once I start losing weight), and if they're negative or disapproving I know they weren't my real friends in the first place.

[cookarue 233]

For me, it's that I have so much of a self insecurity that I don't want to put myself out there to be judged. I don't like people giving me negative feedback, I don't like to be told I'm wrong, and I usually take things personally. I'm a major introvert. I hear all the time about how someone got WLS, and I don't even know the person. It's like sometimes that makes a person forever THE bypass girl, and not just who you are as a person. I've told my mom, my sister, and my husband - and have asked for tight lips from them. If I didn't need their support, I probably wouldn't have even told them.

On the other hand, if nobody was public about it, I'd never know the benefits or disadvantages of having WLS. So, I'm very thankful for all the you tubers - bloggers - instagram people - putting themselves out there. It has really inspired me.

Being public or open about it, however, just isn't for me. It just puts me in a position of anxiety to even think of what comments would be made to me or behind my back. I've always been "the fat girl", I don't want to become "the WLS girl"...

[SalOdyssey 441]

I told everyone. Hell I even created a public Facebook page about my journey. The support, love, messages and comments have been nothing shy of AWESOME!!! Family is super supportive, people in my community who I've talked to have been supportive. People from all over the world have been supportive. Next to no hateful/hurtful comments.

I don't mind the questions. I answer them open and freely.

I was shocked frankly at how supportive my friends and family were and are. Some have even said I've inspired them to tackle their weight or things they've neglected. That alone besides losing the weight myself, has been super rewarding. I never thought I'd inspire people in the sense that I have. It's truly a humbling feeling.

I chose the same path. Honestly, I've had more backlash by other wls patients for not keeping my story a secret than I've EVER had from ANYONE for putting it all out there. Yes, I've had some negative comments but for every negative remark I've had about 5x the support. If I never gave people the opportunity to support me I would probably have no one at this point. The few people I initially planned on telling weren't nearly as supportive as the people I NEVER expected to support me. My family is coming around (I'm the only one in my family with a weight problem so it's hard for them to understand)

But I'm making the right decision for me. I want people to know that what I'm doing is a VALID form of weight loss and hopefully I can inspire someone who feels like there are no options for them like one person did for me. The only reason I am even here right now is because one person put their story out there and it happened to show up on my Facebook wall. Telling my story is my way of paying it forward!

Other WLS patient shamed you? WTH!?!?!? You'd think they'd be the most understanding. My philosophy is shame away. Why? I use it as fuel on the days where my ass doesn't want to get out of bed or hit the pool. I see those very few comments and say **** that and hit the pool twice as hard. I've always been the, knock me down 9 times, and I'll get up 10 times.

My mom is supportive but nervous. I'm her oldest son, and dad passed in the late 1990's. So she worries, but she wants me to get healthy and live again.

You keep kicking ass!! Take it one day at a time, and the haters... Well they can pound sand!

Yup I've been told that I'm "asking for attention" and looking for "drama". I've also heard that I am "wrong" for throwing my personal business out there. That this is too much of a private manor to be discussing with others. (Which I totally understand but it's my choice?) Bunch of stuff.

I get frustrated a lot when I accept and respect people's decision to keep their surgery a secret but I can't get the same respect back when it comes to being public with my story.

I have a YouTube channel, it's on my Facebook, and I'm on tons of bariatric websites/forums. I am not hiding it from anyone.

I specifically wanted to be open about my story because things I went through to get me to this point in my life. No regrets. I can't wait for my surgery! Less than 5 days away!

When I went fully public about it outside of my private Facebook page, the only attention I thought of mostly is how much am I going to have to deal with the haters and the uninformed. My biggest reason to go public was in the hope that I can stop someone else from getting to the point I got to and make a course correction before its too late or to inspire others to tackle whatever they needed to tackle in their lives.

It has nothing to do with drama or asking for attention. And not for nothing I get the attention when I'm out in public and say or do nothing, like hey look at fat ass over there, or look at that fat f***. Facebook has been way more polite and civil than the uniformed idiots I encounter in public.

[SalOdyssey 441]

For me, it's that I have so much of a self insecurity that I don't want to put myself out there to be judged. I don't like people giving me negative feedback, I don't like to be told I'm wrong, and I usually take things personally. I'm a major introvert. I hear all the time about how someone got WLS, and I don't even know the person. It's like sometimes that makes a person forever THE bypass girl, and not just who you are as a person. I've told my mom, my sister, and my husband - and have asked for tight lips from them. If I didn't need their support, I probably wouldn't have even told them.

On the other hand, if nobody was public about it, I'd never know the benefits or disadvantages of having WLS. So, I'm very thankful for all the you tubers - bloggers - instagram people - putting themselves out there. It has really inspired me.

Being public or open about it, however, just isn't for me. It just puts me in a position of anxiety to even think of what comments would be made to me or behind my back. I've always been "the fat girl", I don't want to become "the WLS girl"...

I respect that. Going public or staying private is a personal matter and to each their own. There is nothing wrong with either method.

I've always been open like a book to a point, so I was okay with going public, but not everyone is that comfortable in doing so. Best of luck to you!!