RNY 10/8; My Husband Supportive, But Worries About Complication Post Surgery

[doggiedaddy 304]

My husband has been completely supportive of my decision to have RNY. He has been so supportive that he has been online researching RNY so he can be prepared for the changes that both me and my family will experience… Unfortunately, he has become very worried about the post surgery complications that can occur and I do not know how to calm his fears… I myself am pretty nervous.

We are mostly understanding of the usual arguments for and against WLS… he gets that WLS will greatly improve many of my current and future ailments attributed to being obese. The root of his worries lie with the "not uncommon(?)" complications such as ulcers, perforations, leaks, clots, staple-line failure… oh my, just listing all this stuff is stressing me out!

Are the horror stories one can find online something that should not be dismissed lightly or are all of these serious complications truly worrisome… By having RNY surgery (10/8), am I just trading off current health problems for a few other, possibly more serious, health problems?

Thank you for your response… the support and time freely dispersed on this website by so many of you is truly amazing and much appreciated.

[linz32 11]

Hi Irishaggie!

My husband was very worrisome as well. He even asked me the day before if I was sure I wanted to still have surgery. -.-

I work with 5 girls who all have had the WLS. Some of them had complications, some did not. To be honest, the ones with complications were only having a hard time because they did not follow the rules as their doctor had said. Not saying that if you abide by the rules you won't have any trouble, just saying that you are more likely to have complications if you stray from what the surgeon has told you like no sugar, no fats, Clear liquids first week out, etc.

My risks for other health problems and complications were far greater if i did not have the surgery. What pushed me was not because I was overweight and unhappy with how I looked, but because i wanted to be there for my family. I knew my husband would love me no matter what, so the least I can do is try to gain a few more years with him.

I think you are making the right decision. I personally had surgery almost one week ago. I won't lie, I am sore... But my future is what i am aiming for. Good luck to you!

[James Marusek 5,244]

Health-wise I have experienced only a vast improvement in my overall health since my RNY surgery 28 months ago.

[toasty 371]

In any surgical procedure, there can be complications. WLS is no different. But as in most surgeries, the chance of serious complications is relatively low. This is certainly something you should discuss with your doctor, who can give you much better information about them.

That said, most WLS patients are extremely happy with their decision. You will see some people on this forum talking about pain or other issues post-op, but for most these issues are during the healing stage a month or two post-op. Real, long term issues are relatively uncommon.

From my perspective, the benefits far outweigh the risk. If you don't get the surgery, what is the risk of you developing high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, sleep apnea, etc.? What is your likely life expectancy if you remain obese? What about quality of life? In fact, when thinking about the risks, don't just consider the risks of having the surgery, consider the risks of NOT having the surgery too.

[Amylou 206]

Complications are real...they are...but I think a patients attitude going into surgery can vastly improve the complication slippery slope.

You cannot control everything about this procedure. Be patient with yourself. Follow the doctor's orders down to the letter. Do not do what they tell you not to do. Walk. Drink Water. Drink Water. Drink water. Walk some more. Nap. Most importantly, think positively. If something feels horribly wrong, then get it checked out but seriously, this is major surgery. You're going to hurt. Life is going to be different afterwards. But SOOOO much better.

[doggiedaddy 304]

Thank you all… one minute I'm so exited and positive and the next I feel like a crazy fool who started down this path on a crazy whim… I'm finishing my second day of all liquid diet and my mind and body feel very off right now… hope this edge is gone soon!

[beachgal2935 596]

@@irishaggie Everyone has given you wonderful advice. Sometimes our minds like to mess with us. My husband and 19 year old son have been 100% supportive pre and post surgery. You're very blessed in that department. I had days where I questioned myself as well but once I got my surgery date it was on! I don't think I could have been more prepared or excited once my 2 week liquid diet arrived. My NUT laughs at me to this day. Said she'd never seen anyone have more fun on their liquid diet! Keep a positive attitude and preparation is key. My liquid diet consisted of 5 Optifast shakes per day and any non-caloric beverages. That was it. I bought a Nutribullet, some flavored liquid Stevias, Tazo chai teas and coffee. I love Starbucks so I made my versions of pumpkin spice frappuccinos, English toffee lattes, hot chocolate and root beer floats, just to name a few. I'm 5 months post-op and down 77 lbs. I'm off all diabetic, high blood pressure and cholesterol meds. This is the BEST thing I've ever done for myself. You will do just fine if you follow the rules. I can't say that enough. At almost 54 years old, I feel better now than when I was 24!!! We're here to support you in whatever way we can

[The Candidate 3,215]

There's always a chance of complications. Every type of surgery carries risks. My bypass was complication free and well worth everything I had to go through to have it. Each individual has to weigh the pros and cons and make the decision for themselves whether the pros outweigh the possible and sometimes unforeseen cons. I think if you decide to proceed though, you or your husband won't be disappointed.

Good luck!

[60&goin4it 931]

@@irishaggie, we have the same day for our new beginning!!! I will be thinking about you! I too am a little scared but know that this too will pass. Wonderful people on here to share their experience with us & help guide us. We will feel so much better once we heal!!!! We will be celebrating our Oct. 8th 1 year anniversary next year very glad we did this!!!!