Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Feeling annoyed



Recommended Posts

My husband has been very supportive of my surgery and weight loss efforts, and I appreciate it. However, he still expects me to cook to foods he likes - which I don't mind, but he is not mindful of the time and energy it takes for me to cook them, and when I make enough to last him a couple days, he eats it all at one time. There are days when I end up cooking 2-3 different dinners to accommodate everyone's wants and needs... If I say anything about him eating so much, he gets an attitude. What do I do????

Rant over........

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That is up to you. Do you want to cook so many different options? I would put a healthy meal on the table and sit to eat. If someone wants something else, they know where the kitchen is.

It is inconsiderate to expect you to do more work than necessary. It is never a bad idea for everyone to eat healthy.

Good luck and always feel free to rant! ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before I had the surgery, the whole family sat down and had a talk (3 teens, me and my husband). They agreed that I would not have to cook for anyone until I was a few months out and I promised that I wouldn't make them eat like me unless they wanted to. It's my decision to have WLS for my body. Now that I am several months out, I cook for them. They don't ask me if I want what they have and I don't try and make them eat like I do. I just think it requires a compromise on both sides. And if you cook him enough for several days, don't tell him. Put the rest in the fridge and warm it up for him the next day.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yup, I am with peach on this. Thankfully my hubby is a meat and veggies guy. I occasionally will add a starch for him but for the most part he needs to eat healthier anyway.

Plus, mine has to clean. This means he don't want me cooking multiple things that make him work harder.

That's the deal, I cook and he cleans up the mess.

Yes, I know that I am lucky!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband has been very supportive of my surgery and weight loss efforts, and I appreciate it. However, he still expects me to cook to foods he likes - which I don't mind, but he is not mindful of the time and energy it takes for me to cook them, and when I make enough to last him a couple days, he eats it all at one time. There are days when I end up cooking 2-3 different dinners to accommodate everyone's wants and needs... If I say anything about him eating so much, he gets an attitude. What do I do????

Rant over........

Freeze the leftovers right away. Initially it'll keep you cooking more often, but eventually you'll have a nice rotation of foods you can pull out the freezer for him then just fix your own meals.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't get it. Our family meals are a Protein, side like rice or potato, vegetables and salad. I skip the side but rest of family has some of everything and we are all happy. I am a few years out though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm with cowgirljane. I cook one meal for my family of 6. Protein, veggie and side. I make sure to feed my family healthy foods. Now, my husband is 6'7" & 420 pounds. He was not initially happy about my changes in meals choices but he's a big boy and can fix his own food if he doesn't appreciate my efforts. My children eat what cook...period. I'm almost 2 years out and I think my husband has fixed his own meal twice in that time. Healthy can be delicious too! Try new recipes and get your family on board. Stop working so hard. I'm sure they'd enjoy spending that extra time with you instead.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wait a minute, you cook enough to last him a couple of days, but he eats it ALL in one sitting, and then cops an attitude when you say something ? Mmmmm, ive got something to say too...............tell him you're cooking and portioning out X amounts of food for X days, if he eats it all, no more until the scheduled cooking day ! As I used to tell my kids "This isn't Burger King, you don't get it your way ! Nuff' said !!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm with the others here... Don't cook multiple choices unless you want to, they won't starve. My kids are teens now but it's always been eat what I make or you're on your own. Hubby too.

I make Protein and veggie, sometimes a starch sometimes another veggie, and then I just don't eat the starch. Or a one pot meal like stew or chilli and I maybe pick out the potatoes (so does my daughter, maybe I should just start making it without now that I think about it).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm still trying to find a balance to it all. I'm 3 months out. My daughter is 3, very picky and pretty much does not eat meat.

@@pink dahlia Sometimes it won't be in one sitting, but rather than eat it for dinner the next night, he'll eat it for Breakfast and lunch and then I have to cook again at dinner. Last night, I told him that I didn't care if he ate it all, but I wasn't cooking again.

Edited by her1981

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yup, I am with peach on this. Thankfully my hubby is a meat and veggies guy. I occasionally will add a starch for him but for the most part he needs to eat healthier anyway.

Plus, mine has to clean. This means he don't want me cooking multiple things that make him work harder.

That's the deal, I cook and he cleans up the mess.

Yes, I know that I am lucky!

Mine has to clean too!!! He will wash a million dishes if I cook what he wants. He just loves to eat!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If he doesn't cook, maybe this is your big chance to "teach a man to fish." Learning to fend for himself should be his end of this effort, and contributions are required from any spouse that is truly supportive. Having to constantly being around foods that aren't sleeve-appropriate will bring negative energy to you and ultimately sabotage your efforts. Don't let it happen. Eventually, however, I think he will be so proud of you that he will do anything he can to help you maintain it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am the cook in my house as well. When the kids were younger, I would cook multiple meals. But now they are just about out of elementary, I do the same thing as Peach. I cook a nutritionally balanced meal and sit down. If somebody doesn't want to eat it, I point to the fridge. If they are dead set against eating what I made and don't know what to make, I will sit and instruct while I eat.

It is their choice. I am not their slave. That type of enabling behavior will carry through to many aspects of our lives, not just the dinner table, and I'm not having any of that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

      3. Selina333

        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×