Feeling annoyed

[her1981 448]

My husband has been very supportive of my surgery and weight loss efforts, and I appreciate it. However, he still expects me to cook to foods he likes - which I don't mind, but he is not mindful of the time and energy it takes for me to cook them, and when I make enough to last him a couple days, he eats it all at one time. There are days when I end up cooking 2-3 different dinners to accommodate everyone's wants and needs... If I say anything about him eating so much, he gets an attitude. What do I do????

Rant over........

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

That is up to you. Do you want to cook so many different options? I would put a healthy meal on the table and sit to eat. If someone wants something else, they know where the kitchen is.

It is inconsiderate to expect you to do more work than necessary. It is never a bad idea for everyone to eat healthy.

Good luck and always feel free to rant!

[maggie409 765]

Before I had the surgery, the whole family sat down and had a talk (3 teens, me and my husband). They agreed that I would not have to cook for anyone until I was a few months out and I promised that I wouldn't make them eat like me unless they wanted to. It's my decision to have WLS for my body. Now that I am several months out, I cook for them. They don't ask me if I want what they have and I don't try and make them eat like I do. I just think it requires a compromise on both sides. And if you cook him enough for several days, don't tell him. Put the rest in the fridge and warm it up for him the next day.

[Djmohr 6,965]

Yup, I am with peach on this. Thankfully my hubby is a meat and veggies guy. I occasionally will add a starch for him but for the most part he needs to eat healthier anyway.

Plus, mine has to clean. This means he don't want me cooking multiple things that make him work harder.

That's the deal, I cook and he cleans up the mess.

Yes, I know that I am lucky!

[dhrguru 1,238]

My husband has been very supportive of my surgery and weight loss efforts, and I appreciate it. However, he still expects me to cook to foods he likes - which I don't mind, but he is not mindful of the time and energy it takes for me to cook them, and when I make enough to last him a couple days, he eats it all at one time. There are days when I end up cooking 2-3 different dinners to accommodate everyone's wants and needs... If I say anything about him eating so much, he gets an attitude. What do I do????

Rant over........

Freeze the leftovers right away. Initially it'll keep you cooking more often, but eventually you'll have a nice rotation of foods you can pull out the freezer for him then just fix your own meals.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I don't get it. Our family meals are a Protein, side like rice or potato, vegetables and salad. I skip the side but rest of family has some of everything and we are all happy. I am a few years out though.

[mskami77 295]

I'm with cowgirljane. I cook one meal for my family of 6. Protein, veggie and side. I make sure to feed my family healthy foods. Now, my husband is 6'7" & 420 pounds. He was not initially happy about my changes in meals choices but he's a big boy and can fix his own food if he doesn't appreciate my efforts. My children eat what cook...period. I'm almost 2 years out and I think my husband has fixed his own meal twice in that time. Healthy can be delicious too! Try new recipes and get your family on board. Stop working so hard. I'm sure they'd enjoy spending that extra time with you instead.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Wait a minute, you cook enough to last him a couple of days, but he eats it ALL in one sitting, and then cops an attitude when you say something ? Mmmmm, ive got something to say too...............tell him you're cooking and portioning out X amounts of food for X days, if he eats it all, no more until the scheduled cooking day ! As I used to tell my kids "This isn't Burger King, you don't get it your way ! Nuff' said !!

[jess9395 5,449]

I'm with the others here... Don't cook multiple choices unless you want to, they won't starve. My kids are teens now but it's always been eat what I make or you're on your own. Hubby too.

I make Protein and veggie, sometimes a starch sometimes another veggie, and then I just don't eat the starch. Or a one pot meal like stew or chilli and I maybe pick out the potatoes (so does my daughter, maybe I should just start making it without now that I think about it).

[her1981 448]

I'm still trying to find a balance to it all. I'm 3 months out. My daughter is 3, very picky and pretty much does not eat meat.

@@pink dahlia Sometimes it won't be in one sitting, but rather than eat it for dinner the next night, he'll eat it for Breakfast and lunch and then I have to cook again at dinner. Last night, I told him that I didn't care if he ate it all, but I wasn't cooking again.

Edited September 21, 2015 by her1981

[her1981 448]

Yup, I am with peach on this. Thankfully my hubby is a meat and veggies guy. I occasionally will add a starch for him but for the most part he needs to eat healthier anyway.

Plus, mine has to clean. This means he don't want me cooking multiple things that make him work harder.

That's the deal, I cook and he cleans up the mess.

Yes, I know that I am lucky!

Mine has to clean too!!! He will wash a million dishes if I cook what he wants. He just loves to eat!

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

If he doesn't cook, maybe this is your big chance to "teach a man to fish." Learning to fend for himself should be his end of this effort, and contributions are required from any spouse that is truly supportive. Having to constantly being around foods that aren't sleeve-appropriate will bring negative energy to you and ultimately sabotage your efforts. Don't let it happen. Eventually, however, I think he will be so proud of you that he will do anything he can to help you maintain it.

[PdxMan 4,292]

I am the cook in my house as well. When the kids were younger, I would cook multiple meals. But now they are just about out of elementary, I do the same thing as Peach. I cook a nutritionally balanced meal and sit down. If somebody doesn't want to eat it, I point to the fridge. If they are dead set against eating what I made and don't know what to make, I will sit and instruct while I eat.

It is their choice. I am not their slave. That type of enabling behavior will carry through to many aspects of our lives, not just the dinner table, and I'm not having any of that.