I feel like I lost myself , became stuck up and shallow.

[gruiz27 218]

Anyone feel like I do I'm a new person lost 150 pounds from sleeve but I feel like I lost myself new personality but idk if I like I'm stuck up and shallow which is bad since I been at the other end.. I play with guys emotions and I love the attention I get but it's ring attention.

[Babbs 14,681]

Okay, then don't be stuck up and shallow?

You've transformed your outside considerably. You are gorgeous. But when I see someone with a shitty personality in a gorgeous package, it automatically makes me look at them as ugly.

Make your inside just as pretty as your outside. Beauty fades, but an awesome person who treats others with respect and dignity is forever

[TammyDTM 391]

You said, "I'm stuck up and shallow which is bad since I been at the other end.. I play with guys emotions and I love the attention I get"

It sounds like maybe men didn't give you the attention you wanted when you were heavy so now you are "paying them back" now that you are feeling yourself.

[gruiz27 218]

You said, "I'm stuck up and shallow which is bad since I been at the other end.. I play with guys emotions and I love the attention I get"

It sounds like maybe men didn't give you the attention you wanted when you were heavy so now you are "paying them back" now that you are feeling yourself.

I feel that's exactly what's happening.. I miss the fat girl that was outgoing didn't give a crap about anything especially guys I was all about friends now I'm stuck on finding a bf or hooking up and just moving on to the next I miss the old me. But I love all this attention never had it before. But I'm depressed because I'm not happy deep down even if it's all fun

[TammyDTM 391]

It sounds like you are going down a very destructive path. You might want to seek counseling.

If you continue as you are, one day you may find yourself still looking good, but very lonely.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Are you seeing a counselor or therapist? This is the kind of thinking a professional can help you with.

[KattattaK 45]

I have heard of this happening and I actually have frienda who have fallen victim to this. Be careful! Each and every one of them unfortunately have since gained their weight back. I feel this is due to not getting their minds right. The weight came off so quickly that the mind didn't have a chance to catch up. Karma sucks and is real and has bitten them in the ass. You dont want that to happen to you. Get real friends (if you don't already have any). They will help in trying y to keep you in check .Good thing you are able to recognize and own up to your shortcomings! All the best!

[Jovie62 135]

Just be good and forgive yourself.

[umo 86]

You need to commit to find out what is making you gravitate towards negative influences in your life. The weight you had piled on before and the new mean personality have a lot in common. Get this fixed in a medical setting, you are worth all good things. Wish you all the best in your journey as you find yourself

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Sounds to me like you're scared of something.

Sounds to me like you're working awfully hard to hurt others before they hurt you.

It is past time to seek counseling and find an even keel. Living only for yourself is just as unhealthy as living only for others. And it will eventually rebound on you -- you'll try to even the scales and wind up punishing yourself.

[bikrchk 1,313]

What @ VSGAnn2014 said! Having rejoined the dating pool in a new body in my late 40's after being obese my entire life, I can say the attention is both empowering and frightening. If you think you're headed into a bad space, you probably are. Get some help. Best of luck!

[cnxn4 7]

I felt the same way when I lost weight the first time around without surgery. I was shallow and thought I was better than any other woman out there at the time. And yes, I played guys like a fiddle. Over the years, my weight came back plus a hell of a lot more. That made me realize that when I had my surgery, I wouldn't do that. I guess that happens with age. I can't tell you to not enjoy yourself, because I did at the time.

[newlifenewsong 3]

I don't think you're stuck-up and shallow; you're just getting used to the new slimmer you and what it can do. My weight has been up and down a lot over the years, but I have found that whenever I was back at a slimmer size, I became a lot more conscious of men, dating, etc... It's like you need that confirmation that you *have* lost weight and that you *are* attractive, because you've spent such a long time being disappointed when you look at yourself in the mirror, that the only way to make your weight-loss real is to have someone else appreciate it. All that's going to happen is that you keep relying on that male gaze to define you, with the result that if something doesn't go as planned with someone, you're more likely to go back to using food as comfort and letting your weight creep back up (personal experience speaking here).

My advice? Go on a man-diet! Try spending a month consciously choosing not to go on a date or hooking up with anyone; if a cute guy asks you out, turn him down or make plans for a few weeks from now to give yourself time to get to know him through messages, or whatever.

And in that time, take yourself out on dates. Go try new things, maybe even things you don't think you'll like. Plan a nice dinner with the goal of only pleasing yourself. Get a full length mirror if you don't already have one and just spend a little time every day looking at your body and thinking about all the things that it is able to do now that you're lighter, and just take the time to appreciate yourself without someone else having to tell you your worth.

[stelsewhere 27]

I think that when you're the "fat girl" or the "fat friend" you feel invisible to men. In a way it's kind of a freedom that skinny girls don't have. Guys who talked to me were enjoying joking around and my personality, and I NEVER thought they were talking to me for my body.

Now that you have the body ... You're noticing the attention. I definitely think a therapist (I like CBT therapy) would help. I love my therapist!! I only go once a month or longer now, but it's nice to have.

As far as stringing guys along... Remember, like anything, just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD.

Take care of yourself girl. We are all rooting for you!

[tssiemer 85]

I agree with Jackpot. Have some fun with your outer beauty but be conscious of your inner self.

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