Negative people.....

[Ilovecats1985 100]

I'm sure I'm not alone in this but there are a few very negative people in my life. I haven't told many people about my upcoming surgery. Just people who will be needed in helping me out during recovery. My husband, best friend, and ex in laws (we are still very close) have been incredibly supportive and are really rooting for my success. The day told about the surgery My ex mother in law told me she is very nervous for me but she understands, she wants to feel better, and she will be there for anything I may need her for. That was the only concern any of my supporters have mentioned.

I told my current mother in law and sister in law bc I will need them to help with my husbands kids mostly during the no driving phase post-op. My two will be with grandma, I thought my husbands kids would be here the week of surgery but it's actually the week they are with their mother. My sister in law lives next door and we help each other out a lot. So my mother in law just flat out told me "it's a stupid idea and I will be miserable." My sister in law has had the same tune. My mother in law joined weight watchers 2 months ago to try to prove to me you can lose weight without surgery. Well in her two months she's lost 6 pounds congrats to her. I did weight watchers years ago and lost 60 pounds then went on to lose another 40 with just smaller portions and exercise. A year ago I started gaining the weight back and have been dieting and exercising like crazy but have only been about to lose a total of 20 pounds.

On Saturday at my sons birthday party she decided she was gonna announce it to the room full of guests that I am having weight loss surgery and how she's lost weight just by doing weight watchers. I was furious to say the least. I told her when she got to point of being tired of being overweight, having all these illnesses I have, and regular diet and exercise isn't helping the weight come off then maybe she would understand where I am coming from. But I did expect anyone to understand where I am coming from bc they haven't walked in my shoes. She had the nerve to tell me I was being rude. My husband and ex in laws were pissed off at what she did and my husband pulled her aside told her she wrong and extremely rude. And should she continue to behave like this she would no longer be invited to our family get togethers. The next day my sister in law called me asking about the diet I've been on and the right amounts of Protein and such bc she wanted to lose weight with her mom so they could both prove to me I am doing it the wrong way. Only weak people have the surgery. I just hung up on her and have ignored both of their texts and phone calls since Sunday.

How do yall deal with these types of people?

[imsoglad56 402]

I'm fortunate in that no one in my life has acted this way. But I'll be honest, I wouldn't deal with it. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I'd happly listen to them if they had concerns, but anyone who treats me with that level of disrepect would quickly be removed as an active part of my life.

[KeepCalm 223]

Its funny - the two major people I thought would support me are totally against it... and one actually tried to stop me from going to my Nutritionist appointment. I told him that after all the things I've done for him to help him out - when I needed him he wasn't there - so see ya, there's the door - I don't want to talk to you anymore. Granted there is A LOT more history behind that story, but the gist was he tried to use my surgery as a reason not to pay me back - because I don't 'need' the surgery and its a stupid idea.

the other is my roommate - so long as we don't talk about it... its fine - we'll see what happens when I have the actual surgery. But he said too - that he doesn't believe I need the surgery - that I just need to work harder at exercising and watching what I ate. However, while I don't eat really bad stuff for me - I've noticed since I'm not filled anymore I'm eating A LOT, and I need the restriction in my mind because I don't feel strong enough to make myself say stop. Once I get used to having the restriction again... well hopefully soon!

Good thing is once I've made up my mind to do something - I do it no amount of negativity will stop me because I know I'm doing what's right for me.

My biggest supporter is my co-worker she's been really awesome with helping me do everything and research stuff.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Wow. Just wow.

So - I really didn't tell people before I had the surgery. Since I was going to a family party just 4 days post op, i felt like I needed to tell them something, so I sent an email POST OP asking for their support or silence since the deed was done I didn't need any Monday morning quarterbacking.

They respected that, I got alot of support from most people, and silence from a few. About 1-2 years post op, one of the silent brothers told me that I really changed HIS mind about WLS as he thought it was horrible, everybody failed, couldn't eat normally and always regained all their weight. He has told me more than once he is SO HAPPY FOR ME for finally being able to control my weight post sleeve and he can see very well that I eat all types of food, enjoy BBQs and other food based events like a normal person - I just eat small.

If someone had betrayed me like this woman did - essentially public humuliation over a very personal situation/decision, she would not be welcome in my life anymore. I hope you are a better person than i am because I just would have to cut the toxic people out along with that 80% of my stomach - ha!

[shellyd88 463]

Haha by doing exactly what you did hang up ignore your unavailable etc etc etc to me this nasty stuff is the same as forcing your religious or political beliefs down ppls throats and trying to shame you in front of others and announcing your personal business absolutely unacceptable and just plain ignorant and rude girl just wave bye....

[newmebithebypass 713]

Wow that is horrible how she treated you. I would have lost my mind. Thankfully I have nothing but support from my in-laws and they know that I am doing this to be a better wife to their son

[jlouise23 10]

My mother in law has been a total disappointment as well. I'm 14 days away from having the sleeve done. I have met all my insurance requirements and the 5% weight loss and then some. She had the nurve to tell me that there was no way I had lost the 5% just by looking at me. She knows how hard I have been working on everything the last 6 months.