Banders #7

[Sharpie 3,306]

thanks liz. You understand how it is. Bill and I were a team. Doubt anyone could love me more than he did. He let me be me and never questioned anything I did. WE made major decisions together of course. I think it is possible to be okay with widowhood, I always knew I would be alone at some point, he was 13 years older than me. When I think I will just eat what I want, and to hell with this weight loss stuff.I remember He was my biggest fan and support, he was so proud I made the decision to have lapband surgery. he cheered me on daily. so, it is more difficult without his support but the memory of his beaming at me when I got to my goal will be with me forever.

[Julie norton 2,850]

Sharpie

I so get it. I feel like grief is not gonna be over.... We are gonna just learn to live a new way.

It still feels new and I'm unsure about how to decide things. Bill and I always just worked it out ...

Moving last week helped in some ways, yet so many decisions and so many memories to pack.

Don't want to hijack this thread.... Just know we are thinking of you and hoping your family can surround you.

And that you can catch your breath when the next wave of emotion comes.

[Sharpie 3,306]

thanks Julie , I am so grateful for the support I've gotten from you and Liz, I have my daughter and granddaughters close by so I am lucky. My daughter is still struggling with the loss of her Dad. She loved him so and was so close to him. I can't show her my sad side . She is finally able to talk about her Dad without breaking down. It all will take time and I know he would want us to live our lives as happy as we can. In the meantime I am still healthy and happy with my lapband.

[lisacaron 5,075]

Hi All,

I thought I would share today, because I'm back at the very starting point again. I went to the Dr. today for a follow up after being totally unfilled in the ER on Tuesday night. I was at the point where I couldn't even swallow never mind think about drinking Water.

I was dehydrated not terribly since I didn't wait more than the day to get to the ER. Since my Dr. was 'retired' I have seen another for fills and such but they don't have access to radiology etc. and would have sent me to the ER anyway so to cut out the middle man I just took myself there, where the practice is that did my surgery to begin with.

They removed all of the 4cc I had in my band which when you think of it in a 10cc band isn't very much at all, and much less than I have had in there before. For some reason though...since April when I had a bought of Pancreatisis my stoma has been swollen and very unfriendly depending on the day.

So today they a did a fluro and it shows that my stoma still has restriction even though the band is wide open. You can see how open the band is, but the inside of the stoma is swollen. Not sure what is causing this swelling and nausea so the next step is to see a GI Dr. to check the inside of my stomach and make sure there's not erosion or other gastric issues. I have the feeling it's a food allergy of some kind that is causing my stomach to swell up and make the opening so tight, but I don't know what that food is..so I'll have to go through the process and see if the Dr.'s can figure it out.

Right now I am totally unfilled and on a liquid diet for a week. I'm praying that I can keep to a good diet for the next 6-8 weeks while the band is empty and not gain any weight!!

The crazy thing is that I never really was losing weight like I expected to even on such a low calorie intake. The doctor told me this morning that's because I am not eating...OK I get that and yet in the same breath I don't get it. I'm going to commit to keeping the food diary in MFP so that the nutritionist can see it, but you know if there are magic foods out there that your supposed to eat to make you lose weight I haven't found them....so for now it's back to being on a "diet" I was never very good at that. Who has the time for weighing and measuring...I'd rather just not eat, but that's a no no or so I'm told.

For now it's liquids and later it will be portioning things out...and hoping to choose the right magic food to get my body to drop the weight it seems determined to hold on to for dear life. Eventually if they find nothing wrong I guess they will put Fluid back in the band...but that's at least 2 months away. It's only day 2 and shakes are already getting BORING....

[gowalking 10,790]

Oh Lisa...crap, crap, and more crap. I'm so sorry to hear of this Detour. I really hope that it can be resolved quickly and you can get back to 'normal'. What about Ken? Is he having any issues as well or no? Are you OK with the practice you have now that Geiss is retired? Any possibility of needing (or wanting) a revision to another type of surgery? I know how hard you work to be successful and I'd hate for something to mess that up.

[lisacaron 5,075]

@gowalking...this is long

Ken is doing really well. No issues for him, with the band anyway. He's still suffering from the after affects of his car accident last year with torn rotator cuffs in both arms and back issues but he's pulling through and doing PT.

I really hope they don't find anything when they do the upper endoscopy, but first to visit the GI Dr. and see what he has to say. I can't imagine what food it might be that would cause swelling like that but I guess it could be anything at this point.

If they don't find any damage internally to or from the band I would leave it and keep working with it. I'm sure many of the issues are digestive they were even before I was banded...to be honest I'm not sure what they can do about that. I've been to GI Dr.'s before and they don't really offer much in the way of diagnosis and treatment.

I have really been watching my intake since I had the pancreatitis seems any type of fat really sends my digestive system for a loop. It was making me really feel like I had food poisoning so now I pretty much steer clear of anything that looks even the slightest bit greasy. I knew it wasn't the band per se since I would get sick (nausea and sometimes have to vomit) an hour or more after eating. By then the food had already passed the band but would not pass much further and stomach pains would force me to want to get it out.

We went to a Met game a while back and had the sausage peppers and onions...no bread at all. Cut that bad boy up small and no problem eating it didn't get stuck but about an hour and a half later I got so ill...it was not pretty we had to leave the game and I had stomach pains all night. I couldn't eat for 3 days after that from the irritation...just stayed on liquids. So I won't even touch sausage...not even turkey sausage.

You would think I would have dropped lots of weight by now...living on cottage cheese, yogurt, and Protein Shakes oh yes an sugar free jello! I'm sure the ice cream I've been using as a crutch that keeps the weight on

I switched practices for a while...and now just went back to the practice my original surgeon was at because the hospital is close to my office and Tuesday night I just could not take it anymore. I had to do something, I was sitting at my desk working like crazy and choking on my own body fluids. It felt kind of what I imagine drowning might feel like.

I just texted my husband who was at work and drove myself to the ER. They did send one of the PA's from the Bariatric group down to see me in the ER and take the Fluid out thank goodness because if they didn't I was about to grab a needle and do it myself I was that miserable!!

The thing that I don't love about the group is that most of the Dr.'s and PA's that are there are all "new" to bariatrics. They are practicing in the field just over a year. Some of their surgeons as well, most of them were general surgeons and now working in Bariatrics. Not necessarily because that's what they want to do, but because that is where the hospital assigned them. I don't really like that. The director of the practice is one of the original bariatric Dr.'s that worked with my surgeon...but she's very difficult to get appointments with. They mostly give band patients to the PA, and they do ask you if you are interested in a revision. Not the first time I have heard this...and with all the discomfort I have been in I have said to Ken more than once I want to rip this thing out!!! BUT why fix what's not broken...? and to do a revision they remove the band surgically the same way it went in pretty much and then you heal for 6-9 months and need to be re-approved for the revised surgery...and then go through all the pre-op testing hoops again...so yeah I'm all for if it's not broken don't fix it only to rewire my insides...which are already driving me insane? No thanks.

The one good thing is that this PA has worked in gastroenterology before working in bariatrics...so when I explained all the issues I've been having he didn't look at me like I had 6 heads. So I'm hopeful that they will figure out what's going on with me...and I can get back on track again. Maybe they have a magic pill now that they didn't have back then to keep the flair ups and swelling down and allow me to eat the way I need to for the band to work. I go to see that GI Dr. July 7th. So for now...it's Protein shakes, cottage cheese, Jello, and yogurt. Maybe next week I'll try some soft foods...and go through the phases again till I find out what the heck is going on in there.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

((Hugs )) to Lisa.

Next time somebody even implies that WLS is the easy way out, I'm gonna strangle 'em.

JustWatchMe

[gowalking 10,790]

Keep me posted on what the tests say, OK?

[Julie norton 2,850]

Lisacaron

Wishing the best for you and your digestive issues... Sounds like you have been through a lot lately and I am here to commiserate with you! I'm really hoping an empty band helps you figure out your allergies and stoma issues.

I like how tough you are about keeping your band. Lots of others are not so strong, I think, as you are.

I am fiercely protective of my band.... Even have it almost deflated now. I don't want irritation to flare up.... And like you, I'm not up to starting over.

Hoping you also see results on your scale... You rightly should... Sometimes our bodies have a mind of their own.

Jules

[Julie norton 2,850]

Yep. It's me... The thread- killer....

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Lol Julie! Ok I'll post. I haven't seen my surgeon's office (NP) since September 2015. Back then the NP and I decided I would get my food cleaned up and see if that brought some restriction instead of getting another tiny fill. Well it sure did. Here's my dilemma. I'm doing great. I only get stuck if I eat too fast or don't chew well. It does happen about once a week. Since I saw her last, I've lost about 24 pounds. I have great restriction. I really don't "need" an appointment but I feel like I should go and just get checked with the fluoro. Especially since I'll be losing my excellent insurance soon with the divorce finalizing in the next couple of months, and after that, visits will be out of pocket since the doctor is not in the new insurance's network. So, I should go, right? Feels weird because it's like tempting fate.

JustWatchMe

[gowalking 10,790]

OK...I'll post as well. Don't want Julie to feel like a thread killer..

I went with my friend to Dress Barn on Sunday. Haven't been there in years. I bought an adorable black and white skirt with a white top with lace cap sleeves and a lace blue and white skirt with a matching blue cami that I can wear with a white bolero type of coverup that I have at home. I look freakin' cute at work today in the flouncy black and white number. This is so much better than overeating.

[Sharpie 3,306]

Okay guys I hate to do this but I am so overwhelmed today I don't know how to cope. You all know I lost my husband in October, then my brother in February. Since then I have lost my baby sister (65 years old ) due to complications of diabetes and my niece who was only 53 due to complications of having a stent put in her leg (they nicked her aortic artery). I am just so sad. I have drank, ate sweets and everything else I can think of. I have a mild sedative but only take it at night because I am still trying to go to exercise classes 3 days a week. I have so much fear that I might be next. how does this happen ? I really am so tired of funerals and loss and on top of that I have to worry about my own health and I am scared to death l will re-gain my weight. my blood pressure is up and I feel like I can't shake this off. I went to my PA today and asked her to re-new my RX for depression. I have always been the strong person in our family and have done fairly well with my husbands loss because he was so sick towards the end I wanted him to be out of pain. I cannot tell you how much I am furious with God right now. I am not looking for a religious lecture just venting.

[gowalking 10,790]

Oh lord...I'm so so sorry. I have no words. I don't know how to cope with constant loss like this. I don't blame you for being angry. It's a very normal reaction in my opinion. I don't want to say to you to just do what you feel like doing food wise. We have to keep on top of how we eat and drink..especially when we are under great stress and I can't imagine anything more stressful than this. Just don't fill yourself with guilt. What's done is done. Follow your plan right now. Yes...keep exercising. It's good for you. If you need meds...take them for now. I wish I could give you more than a virtual hug right now. Post in this thread every day if you need to...multiple times if necessary. Alot of the original group are gone but there are still a few of us around and someone will be here for you. Liz.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Sharpie, all I can do is tell you you are loved here on these boards and I am SO sorry you are in such pain. It's NOT fair. It sucks and it is overwhelming. But what I do know about you is that you have a strong life force and you give strength to others all the time. As Liz said, keep the food under control but don't let guilt mess with your head. You have been and are going through more in a few months than most people do over a period of years. Stay connected here and everywhere that you have support. ((((Hugs))))

JustWatchMe