Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

2 nights ago I figured it was time to bite the bullet and tell my 7 year old that I am going away for 5 days without him.

He cried and cried and cried when I told him mommy is going on a mini vacation with Nana.

I didnt tell him about the surgery, and wont until I get home. I still have some time to figure that part out.

Only family member that knows (besides my Ryan) Nana (my ex-mother in law out of all people) who is coming with me and has been a major support this whole journey.

I haven't even told my own mother.

I tried reassuring my son that Nan and me weren't going anywhere fun. There wasn't going to be any amusement rides or beaches. It was strictly a vacation for mommy and Nana to spend some time together as she has been sick and in the hospital recovering from lung complications. He still wasn't happy.

What got him okay with the idea was when I told him that I took the whole day off work on Tuesday to take him to his first day of grade 2. I would pick him up at lunch, and pick him up after school. He got shocked and laughed at me when I asked if I could take "Lambie" his favorite stuffie (since birth) with me so I would really be without him. He told me I was silly. To think I could take Lambie away from him was blastomy !!!

It broke my heart to see him so upset.

I took him on a Mommy and Me vacation 2 weeks ago, where we spend 3 days at the waterpark in the hotel, ordering room service and shopping till we dropped. That still didnt make him okay with anything.

Luckily I leave at 5am for the airport when he will still be alseep. Not sure how my hus-friend will the tears when my son wakes up and I am not there. Our bond has been so air tight that being away from each other throws the whole universe off course.

As much as I want the surgery, THIS part is what I have been dreading. The 5 days in TJ cant come and go fast enough.

..ii.ll.aa..

(means I love Alex double time)

How did you tell your kids that you were going away for a few days without them? & without breaking their tiny hearts.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I still have a very close relationship with my ex mother in law. She's been very supportive of me through this journey as well. She will be keeping my kids while I'm in the hospital and she will taking them back and forth to school for me while I can't drive. I told my kids yesterday, grandma and grandpa had picked them up for school for me while I was meeting with my surgeon. After my appointment I went over to pick them and discuss my surgery date and all with my ex in laws. I told the kids they would be staying a couple of days at grandmas house. They were excited. I told them I was gonna be having a surgery to make me feel better. My daughter who is 7 has had 3 surgeries and she's also a type 1 diabetic, she spent a week in ICU when she was diagnosed with diabetes. She was worried me liking the hospital food, lol! I told her not to worry bc I would be having special food. She was ok after that. My son is 9, he didn't have much to say other than how excited he was to stay at grandmas for longer than a night. I do plan on facetiming with them or at least calling them after surgery so they know I'm ok.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just a thought that you maybe should have chosen a different word than vacation. If he equates vacation to fun and all he can think about is having fun. Maybe try and talk to him again and tell him that it's not really a vacation but an important business type trip. I don't know what term to use but if vacation upsets him then tell him its something important. Just a thought. My daughter is 9 and she knows I am having surgery. She is very supportive of what i am doing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Remmy75 @

Thank you both for your words. It made me feel a lot better.

I never even thought about telling him it was a work thing.

I think either way, he would have had the same reaction.

I think I will ask Grandma (the other ex mother in law) if my son can spend the night there one day next weekend. He is putty in your hands when you bring up Grandma's

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi hey whatever helps him feel better and kinda distract him from the vacation he isn't going on maybe if it's possible bring him a "surprise " when u come home if there's a special something he enjoys a small toy or book or maybe u can put a little gift box together before u go with some new things he can play with coloring books he draw you a picture everyday or play dough he can make something to show you he can take a photo and email it to you if somebody can help him do that or little cars stuff from the dollar store or a DVDs all kids typically love getting things maybe u can arrange for this little gift box to arrive after you leave like the day after your surgery when your not groggy and he can talk to you for a few mins even if u just stash it in a closet and address it to him someone can help him open it if he is little he likely won't notice there's no postage on it hope this helps I'm not a parent but I've taken care of many children I've had them cry when I'm gone away I've done these little things at times so they don't think I've forgotten them nothing like a tiny tear stained face to make u feel guilty lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

i dont have any kids but ive baby sat my neices and nephews when mommy and daddy went on vacation they were ok the smallist one had a rough morning because she wanted mommy to take her to the potty. she was in the middle of potty training but other than that she was good

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • cryoder22

      Day 1 of pre-op liquid diet (3 weeks) and I'm having a hard time already. I feel hungry and just want to eat. I got the protein and supplements recommend by my program and having a hard time getting 1 down. My doctor / nutritionist has me on the following:
      1 protein shake (bariatric advantage chocolate) with 8 oz of fat free milk 1 snack = 1 unjury protein shake (root beer) 1 protein shake (bariatric advantage orange cream) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein bar 1 protein shake (bariatric advantace orange cream or chocolate) 1 snack = 1 unjury protein soup (chicken) 3 servings of sugar free jello and popsicles throughout the day. 64 oz of water (I have flavor packets). Hot tea and coffee with splenda has been approved as well. Does anyone recommend anything for the next 3 weeks?
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        All I can tell you is that for me, it got easier after the first week. The hunger pains got less intense and I kind of got used to it and gave up torturing myself by thinking about food. But if you can, get anything tempting out of the house and avoid being around people who are eating. I sent my kids to my parents' house for two weeks so I wouldn't have to prepare meals I couldn't eat. After surgery, the hunger was totally gone.

    • buildabetteranna

      I have my final approval from my insurance, only thing holding up things is one last x-ray needed, which I have scheduled for the fourth of next month, which is my birthday.

      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BetterLeah

      Woohoo! I have 7 more days till surgery, So far I am already down a total of 20lbs since I started this journey. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Well done! I'm 9 days away from surgery! Keep us updated!

    • Ladiva04

      Hello,
      I had my surgery on the 25th of June of this year. Starting off at 117 kilos.😒
      · 1 reply
      1. NeonRaven8919

        Congrats on the surgery!

    • Sandra Austin Tx

      I’m 6 days post op as of today. I had the gastric bypass 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×