Brain is talking back ...

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

So here's my issue ... Since surgery ... we only take itty bitty bites and we chew it to disintegration ... But my brain sometimes wants to take that huge bite that I used to ... half chew it ... and swallow it pretty much whole ... Brain wants to take big huge gulps over and over and over till the drink is almost gone ... Brain and I aren't getting along too well right this minute ...

I don't do what Brain wants ... because I'm scared of how it will affect me and my tummy ... I'm a rule follower by nature and find it very upsetting that I'm having to deal with Brain right now ... Brain can bite me ...

Last night at dinner as I'm eating my baby bites and full after 5 ... Hubby is eating like normal and I studied him for a while ... not realizing that I'm feeling jealousy toward him for eating like a "normal" person ... To me that was normal anyway ...

I started to cry .... missing the old days ... missing the pig out sessions ... missing the freedom to do what I always did ...

Don't get me wrong ... I'm so blessed to have had the surgery ... for many reasons ... and I will stay the path ... I KNOW that about myself ...

But I was having a moment and it upset me ... and I wanted to vent ... and see if anyone else feels like this sometimes too?

[jane13 2,256]

@@MrsKarenC2008 Funny you mentioned this - that's how I over ate twice, only a mouthful or so but enough to cause discomfort for about an hour. I watch my husband eat and I don't actually miss the pig out sessions. I am still a newbie in this WLS world and to avoid the discomfort I have to be mindful of quantity of food/drink.

I am right there with you in this battle against the bulge!

Edited September 1, 2015 by jane13

[kranky813 477]

I am still on liquids but I fear that this will happen to me. I enjoy taking big bites. I like to chew 2 times and swallow. I like to have the full feeling in my belly. You certainly aren't alone I just haven't gotten to food yet.

I sit and think about what eating will be like for me once I am able to eat regular foods again. I think about eating something good and then get a little depressed thinking that I will be able to have 4 bites of it while my husband and family will be able to eat a plate full. I know that this is the best for me and hopefully I will be able to change the way that my family eats by setting a good example but it's sometimes depressing.

Hang in there, it can only get better. Besides, as the weight falls off you aren't going to care anymore

[Niki15 198]

I had a moment like that at a resturant with my husband I had 3 shrimp and I was done while I waited for him to finish his meal ..I teared up and said going out to eat is not gun anymore I am 4 weeks out so still cant have all foods yet ..He just told me to remeber the end result and how healthy and happy I will be once I am skinny .. Glad he supports and helps me remember the big picture..

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@@kranky813 @@Niki15 @@jane13

Thanks girls ... knowing this is such a huge life change ... and that it not only affects our physical selves ... along with our mental selves ... some people just don't "get" it ...

But I knew that I could count on my fellow sleevers to know exactly what I was talking about and what I was feeling ...

[IncredibleShrinkingMan 437]

I learned my lesson pretty quickly. I was having my go-to Protein source (raw tuna) on Friday, and for the most part chewing until it was mush, but I slipped and swallowed a pretty big chunk whole, and that chunk included some of the connective tissue (unchewable). I had the worst choking sensation ever for about two hours and drove to the front of two emergency rooms. I know there are other foods that will be coming back into my diet in the next few weeks that I often didn't give one chew, and I will remember this episode and acknowledge that those days are over. My longing for certain types of meals is completely dwarfed by watching myself stop and move away from a quarter-eaten plate of food. You couldn't hold a gun to my head and ask me to do that pre-op.

[TJBintheOC 104]

I feel exactly like you. But, I just let my brain do its thing. I tell my husband all the things I want for dinner. A burger, pizza, egg rolls, bread, grilled cheese, chips...and we laugh and I eat my 3-5 bites and I'm full. Some days I do feel sorry for myself, but then I see the pounds melting off and I'm ecstatic. Really just shows me I would have never gotten my eating under control. I think my brain will always work that way. Maybe in time my brain will catch up to my stomach. I still make big portions. I forget...I'm only going to be able to take 3 bites of this. I gave in a few times just to see what would happen. Took a "regular" bite of a burger and 2 big bites of pizza. Threw up and felt terrible for an hour. Great lesson. The pros far outweigh the cons. Was just thinking about Thanksgiving and how I'll be able to have one bite of everything. That's ok. Being thin and healthy is for more rewarding. I think we're all in the same boat when it comes to our brains. Good luck. ❤️❤️

[TealSister 296]

@@MrsKarenC2008 I am 100% with you about missing food. Life is so much better without the gorging sessions, but something about it was very satisfying (until the guilt etc kicked in). Just need to keep focusing on the positives

[jane13 2,256]

@@kranky813 @@TJBintheOC @@Niki15 - I don't miss the food as much as I need to remember to chew thoroughly and only eat 20 minutes and then stop, period. I find that if hubby and I are out to eat (which we do a lot) I put my food on my smaller plate - we order and I get his "add-ons" - and to avoid watching him still eat I push my food around and sit my fork down. That also prevents any accidental overeating. Hubby admitted to me about a month or so ago that he felt bad that he was eating a lot more food and felt uncomfortable about eating infront of me. I was upset that he hadn't mentioned it. I told him that I am not hungry and if he THINKS I am he is wrong. I have take home everytime we go out. I think by stretching out my time eating it doesn't seem as obvious to him how much I am eating. by the way - he has lost about 15lbs since my pre-op!

[Niki15 198]

From now on I am ordering a side otem only at least I will be the cheap daye lol

[MrsKarenC2008 622]

@@Niki15 @ @@TJBintheOC @@jane13

You guys make me wanna have a slumber party ! It's amazing how much we all are alike and feel the same way ... I'm so glad ! Well, I mean ... I'm glad that people understand !

You all are right ... there will be moments ... there will be wants ... I'm just too chicken to give into them right now .. but I'm sure later I will ... there will come a day ...

Thank you all for listening and offering your own story of struggle and survival and hope!

I appreciate you all !

[kranky813 477]

That is awesome that he is being so supportive of you! My hubby and I laughed because before surgery we said that when we go out to eat after surgery we will take turns ordering and just share. It will be less expensive and I will not be able to eat an entire meal so it's also wasteful. I'm excited because it will also get both of us to experience things that we wouldn't normally eat

Now I just have to get to regular food.... Clear liquids suck!!

[Babbs 14,681]

Here's the thing....there's going to come a time when food becomes more fuel than pleasure (honestly, as it should be). I'm not saying you can never enjoy food again, because what little we get should at least be somewhat enjoyable, but we can't have it the center of our universe anymore. That's what got us fat in the first place.

I now enjoy the company I'm with when I go out to eat, or take a vacation, or go to a party, instead of it being all about how much food I can stuff my face with. I don't miss that at all. The temporary feeling of pleasure you get from eating what you want and how much you want. Then you deal with the constant guilt. Then repeat. I had my moments like you all, but eventually came to realize that I enjoy being in control of what and how much I'm putting into my mouth. I also enjoy my size 6 clothes.

You guys will get there, too!

[Reason to Believe 77]

I now enjoy the company I'm with when I go out to eat, or take a vacation, or go to a party, instead of it being all about how much food I can stuff my face with. I don't miss that at all.

You guys will get there, too!

Babbs, that is something I am really looking forward to.