Having second thoughts

[jessis 0]

Hey guys, I'm getting closer to this reality, and after a negative conversation with a family member I'm considering backing out on surgery. His concern is that I should be able to loose weight on my own. I have years of dieting, exercising, nutrition counseling, personal trainers, and diet pills to prove otherwise. I am 30 years old with a BMI of 36 and I have no children, but would like to one day. Here is a list of my fear/concern:
- bowel control problems
- vomiting
- weakness
- hair loss
- depression because you cannot eat
- can you drink alcohol (if you do)
- problems with loose skin
- visible scars
- will it interfere with social life?
- will it prevent me from being a mom one day
- when can I return to work? (Not a strenuous job)
Thank you in advance for any advice! This is such a big decision and I want it to be the right one!

Edited September 1, 2015 by jessis

[Graciesmom04 184]

I was told forever by my husband I could do it on my own. And I have...several times. I'd lost 50lbs, gain back 70. Lose 50 lbs, gain back 80...see my point? This is just a helper. I still work at you and you will too, but this helps you work at it. I didn't tell my family. I told my mom & hubby. No one else. I had sleeve done 1/28/15 and have finally reached my 100lb wt loss goal. I feel amazing. My depression, from being so big, is gone. At this stage, there are foods I just can't tolerate and I'm fine with that. There are a majority that I can...and I get full fast, but that's what helps.

Bowel control issues - I had IBS, so I was having horrible cramps and diarrhea 5 out of 7 days before surgery. Now....I've had maybe 3 episodes the entire summer.

Vomiting - I've had maybe 2 episodes...but they were my fault. Eating too fast and too much. You'll know when to stop.

Weakness? Right after surgery you will be weak, but that goes away relatively quickly.

hair loss - not everyone has it...I did and still do to an extent, although everyone says they don't notice. It goes away.

depression from not eating? At first I did have some..but that quickly goes away. You realize when you start losing the wt that it's all worth it and this is what you worked so hard for. Are there times now that I wished I could just sit and eat a steak with a salad and have a mixed drink and enjoy it? Yes....but I also like this me so much more that the trade off is worth it.

alcohol- I've been scared to have any. I did have about 8 oz of a margarita drink this weekend. It does not take much at all to kick in...one of the reasons I just don't drink. I know others have mentioned they have and done fine. I'm just not a big drinker.

Loose skin? Yes...but most can be covered and not noticed. My biggest is my arms...I look like a flappy chicken. The rest is all covered.

Social life? Hasnt' affected mine at all.

visible scars? Only if you show them your abdomen. I don't wear bikini's (you're all welcome) so I'm good.

prevent you from being a mommy? SHouldn't effect that one bit

Time off work? I had mine done on a Wed morning, was home Thurs and back to work the following Monday. It was tough, I was tired, but very doable....I am in a nonstrenuous job.

Hope this helps. Honestly, it's the best decision I've ever made. I had my doubts and fears beforehand, but I'm so glad I did it.

[Misha_Lynne 9]

Hi Jessis. None of my family agrees with my decision to have bariatric surgery for the same reason..."I think you can do it on your own". Now of I could emphasis the "I" in that statement I would, because they are basing this on their experiences, where as they have not lived through MY emotional frustration with trying many weight loss options, which include all you've listed. YES, this is a big decision, but YOU have to evaluate for yourself if YOU think YOU can loose and maintain a healthy weight without the surgery.

Your concerns list matches mine, but I've consciously made the decision to either confront the emotional concerns and accept the food related concerns. My health is what matters and all things in between I will work through.

Hope this helps and good luck :-)

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I have years of dieting, exercising, nutrition counseling, personal trainers, and diet pills to prove otherwise.

First off I want to say, you know the truth and you wrote it in the sentence above. This decision is between you and your medical providers, not family members who don't know jack about surgery.

- bowel control problems

I have had no bowel control problems
- vomiting

I haven't thrown up once since surgery 2+ years ago
- weakness

it took me a couple weeks to get through post-op weakness. Since then I am stronger than ever. Come join me in my weight-lifting workout and judge for yourself whether weight loss causes weakness
- hair loss

this is a temporary, cosmetic issue and there are lots of ways to deal with it
- depression because you cannot eat

Of course you can eat! You just can't eat as much and if you are smart, you will change the sorts of things you eat on a usual basis. food is still enjoyable, at least after you get through the first weeks of transition after surgery. If you are someone who uses food as an emotional crutch, I certainly recommend seeking therapy to go along with surgery, because yes, you will have to learn new coping and soothing mechanisms.
- can you drink alcohol (if you do)

I could if I wanted to, but I've never been a big drinker so this is moot for me.
- problems with loose skin

I have some loose skin, it doesn't cause me any problems that Spanx and somewhat modest clothing cannot solve.
- visible scars

I have no visible scars from vsg. My dermatologist had to get out her lighted magnifying glass to find them. Besides that, you can't go through life refusing to do things because you might get a scar. We all have scars. Are you going to decide not to have children because you might end up with a cesearian scar?
- will it interfere with social life?

Not unless your social life is centered on binge eating, in which case I would recommend re-evaluating and making some changes with respect to your social life, rather than forgoing surgery.
- will it prevent me from being a mom one day

No, it will help you be a mom. If you decide to get pregnant, losing weight makes it easier for you to get pregnant, stay pregnant, and safely deliver a healthy baby. Pregnancy only requires about an extra 300 calories per day for your fetus, and that is easily achieved even with a post-vsg stomach. If you decide to adopt, you can count on being a healthier and more active mom to your children. Seriously, research obesity and pregnancy and obesity and childbirth and you will see that losing weight is one of the very best things you can do on this front.
- when can I return to work? (Not a strenuous job)

Probably 1 - 3 weeks after surgery.

Good luck!

[MIMISAN 404]

I haven't had my surgery yet but like GraciesMom4 I can lose weight and gain it over and over again. I want the surgery to stop me from back sliding so easily.

In my opinion...If you don't want to make changes in your life and your not ready for change, don't have the surgery. Surgery is a last ditch effort to help you gain control over something you can't control.

I would rather be depressed because I can eat than depressed because I weigh 350 pounds, but that needs to be your choice because until your ready to change the part of your life style that makes you fat, you probably won't commit after surgery.

[MIMISAN 404]

I wanted to add that I also worry about hair loss and loose skin but I think you have a better chance of less loose skin because of your age. I am much older and I am sure I will look like a blood hound. I don't look forward to that but I will be healthier and that is my goal.

[shellyd88 463]

Oh my! Laughing @ MIMISAN too funny for the poster worried about scars (get ready I'm about to be sarcastic)girl we who have been so heavy have stretch marks bigger than the scars from the surgery will be oh and by the way I'm just over 6 months post op sleeve u can't even see them don't give it a thought it's not worth your worry concentrate on healthy eating excercise will help with skin I've never heard of ppl having trouble being a mother or becoming a mother after surgery it can only be an asset for your future parenting duties which trust me are exhausting for a fit person as for alcohol I'm 47 been there done that it's not that interesting to me anymore don't believe that u can't eat u can and u will at first it will be hard it takes getting used to it's an adjustment eventually as time goes on and u heal u will eat more normally again it will be up to u what u eat as it was before