Stupid things people say when they find out you've had surgery....

[LolaSerena 12]

Shelly, I can so relate! My mother fat shames me all the time and tells me that I've let her down and she's disappointed in me bc of my weight.

I'm at the point where I want to have this surgery, and lose the weight and never see my own mother again!

She's actually told me before that she doesn't want to see me until I'm thin.

It's really bad. I've only gone to see her once this year (Mother's Day )

She keeps trying to give me incentives.. A whole new wardrobe.. If I lose weight..

She's very wealthy and I get an inheritance from my Father who passed away 6 years ago.. But my mother holds all the cards. She has threatened me several times to not give me the money if I don't lose weight. (My home situation is such that getting a job making less than my inheritance gives is not an option for me)

I was at my lowest weight last year

(40 pounds less than I am right now)

And my mom still fat shamed me bc I hadn't got to my perfect weight yet after all these years.. She bettered me in front of a friend.

I've forgiven her bc she asked me to.

But then it seems she hurts me again.

This last time of fat shaming was a week ago.

Sorry for rambling

Wow Heidi your mom sounds like a horrible *****. My mom has offered me money, a new wardrobe, so has my father, they even included one of my brothers in the "if you lose weight you get crap wagon". Sorry you're having to go through all that shit.

I guess I would just get a job and my own money and tell her to stick dad's money where the sun don't shine. You can later use a lawyer to get the money if you are the sole survivor of you are still wanting it. But darn I can't even imagine.

Much success in your journey!

LS

[caesar93 7]

Lola,

Check this out. My sister and I got in an argument two days ago and she told me that I was worthless because I couldn't lose weight on my own and had to have surgery. I was mad and told her at least I had the right mind to change my life for the better. Her and I have struggled with our weight throughout or lives and I think she is probably mad that I went through with surgery. I have no regrets having surgery. It was the best decision of my life. Isn't it sad how family can be.

Martin

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[CNOEL3 117]

"Everyone I know has gained all the weight back, so you will too, plus, you won't ever be able to have kids again, and I want more grandchildren!" -My mother in law.

"Just eat less, and exercise more, you've always been lazy." -My mother

"Ummm, I'm losing my Drinking Buddy???!???" - Best Friend

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[LolaSerena 12]

Lola,

Check this out. My sister and I got in an argument two days ago and she told me that I was worthless because I couldn't lose weight on my own and had to have surgery. I was mad and told her at least I had the right mind to change my life for the better. Her and I have struggled with our weight throughout or lives and I think she is probably mad that I went through with surgery. I have no regrets having surgery. It was the best decision of my life. Isn't it sad how family can be.

Martin

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Hey Martin,

Yeah, if family were more supportive and understanding that it is a disease and not something where we wanted to be this way then it would be easier. maybe your sis will see the light now that you've done it.

Much success in your journey!

LS

[audaciousmarie 161]

...and go!!!!!

Does your stomach grow back?

You're going to gain the weight back plus some!

I know a few people that are bigger now than before they started.

It just never ends!

Hoe about my all time favorite "You didnt need to do that..you weren't that big".

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[Daisee68 2,493]

Here is a new one I got - "Did you mean to get this thin?" Um... yes? Seriously not that thin. I am 5'10" and wear a size 12 and Large tops. Not like I am a size 0 or something - AND so what if I was? Sigh... Backhanded compliment maybe? I also still do not love "I didn't recognize you". I know they mean well but it makes me uncomfortable...

[ciaobella707 5]

Omg!!! Lol, reading what some people say is hilarious. Otherwise it's sad and hurtful.

People have really only said that they were scared for me. I had to explain. Their has been no wls deaths hospital (so far). My friend is a bill coder at the same hospital and she said that my surgeon is one of the best. I'm in good hands.

Thank you...my dad and step mom were genuinely concerned when I first told them because my step mom's friend died a couple years after having wls...well, she chose to eat junk all the time instead of what she should and had health issues anyway...once I told them what to really expect and how I would take care of myself they were totally on board...most people just don't know much about it to know what to say

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[Elle09 157]

After surgery I had a family member ask me, "How does your diet work."

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[Hayleymillay 26]

Why do uninformed people always have an opinion?

I have only told three people that I am having the surgery because I don't want to hear this crap. I have to admit that I am afraid any weight loss will be cause for scutiny and I know I will have to field questions. Not looking forward to it.

[Hayleymillay 26]

Why do uninformed people always have an opinion?

I have only told three people that I am having the surgery because I don't want to hear this crap. I have to admit that I am afraid any weight loss will be cause for scutiny and I know I will have to field questions. Not looking forward to it.

[ChrisInc2 56]

My personal favorite.....You really didn't look like you needed to lose that much weight. REALLY??? Were you blind?

Just got told that!! Exact words : you're not fat enough for Bariatric surgery!

Well apparently my dr thinks so!

Lol I've been told that so many times surgery this Tuesday to me I'm fat and the issues that i have is my greatest reason. I want to live a nice life so they can get over it. I have to grands to raise lost my 27 year old daughter 2 years ago.

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[linah 92]

Shelly, I can so relate! My mother fat shames me all the time and tells me that I've let her down and she's disappointed in me bc of my weight.

I'm at the point where I want to have this surgery, and lose the weight and never see my own mother again!

She's actually told me before that she doesn't want to see me until I'm thin.

It's really bad. I've only gone to see her once this year (Mother's Day )

She keeps trying to give me incentives.. A whole new wardrobe.. If I lose weight..

She's very wealthy and I get an inheritance from my Father who passed away 6 years ago.. But my mother holds all the cards. She has threatened me several times to not give me the money if I don't lose weight. (My home situation is such that getting a job making less than my inheritance gives is not an option for me)

I was at my lowest weight last year

(40 pounds less than I am right now)

And my mom still fat shamed me bc I hadn't got to my perfect weight yet after all these years.. She bettered me in front of a friend.

I've forgiven her bc she asked me to.

But then it seems she hurts me again.

This last time of fat shaming was a week ago.

Sorry for rambling

I am so sorry, I had a similar situation with my mom but nowhere near as bad as what you are describing. She did make me feel though that no matter what I did, as long as I was fat it just wasn't good enough. To give you some background, my mom was very slim (5'3 feet and 45 kgs) before she had kids, then she ballooned. I grew up watching my mom, who was an amazing cook, put wonderful food for her family while she opened a can of tuna, added some lemon, and ate only that. She was constantly on a diet throughout my childhood and looked unhappy for most of the time. She lost about 10 kgs, then did not lose anything else no matter what she tried (pretty much the same as most of us). I know she loved me but her issues made it such that she had a hard time accepting the reality of my weight, this was more about her than about me. In your case, I don't know your mom, but she seems a very shallow and small minded person. I also suspect she gets a kick out of feeling "superior" to you. That is my impression from what you have written, however, you are more aware of your own situation. Refusing you your inheritance is not helpful or useful, it is just a way for her to keep control over your situation while maintaining her sense of superiority. I also suspect that after you lose the weight she will find something else to nitpick about. When someone feels badly about themselves, there are only two options to feel better, do something to improve yourself, or tear someone down so you feel better in comparison. Your mom seems like type 2, again this would be her own issue and have nothing to do with you.. If you feel I am wrong, them I am truly sorry for commenting regarding your mom, if you feel there is some truth in what I am saying, then accept that her issues are not yours, do what you need to make yourself happy, have her sign a contract that if you get to certain weight she has to hand over your inheritance, and live for yourself not allowing her to use you as her crutch to feel superior and in control. Good luck and best wishes.

[GSleeve822 394]

"Oh so you cheated.."

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[wolfylove 25]

Love this post.

[laney 172]

I had the same experience with a friend. Saying you can do it on your own. You are not that heavy. Just be happy with who you are. I am happy and I am a good person but my heaviest was 291. I am now experiencing health issues that is why after 2 yrs I decided to do the surgery. I learned not to say anything to anyone else but family after all her comments. Unless, you are walking in our shoes people do not understand, but feel they have a right to make hurtful comments.

I congratulate all of us for becoming a healthier you!!!!!

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