Newly sleeved and nearly single

[SimplyMsE 1]

I had my surgery 8/17/15. I have loss 9 lbs in just 1 week. I am amazed but have had trouble with my partner supporting my decision to have surgery. She didn't want me to have it and has never truly embraced the process. How can I make her see that my choice had nothing to do with her but choosing my life instead?

[Miss Mac 6,262]

Well, she can't undo your surgery, so she may as well go along for the ride. That said, it is no secret that bariatric surgery will expose the raw dynamics of your relationships with friend, family, companions and co-workers.

One excuse is as good as another when you don't want to do something, so if she is dragging her feet about embracing your healthcare choices she may not be supportive in other ways that you just had not noticed yet. I wish you the best, but do you remember the old song lyrics to Ray Steven's Everything is Beautiful? "There is none so blind as he who will not see." ???

I hope that as you become healthier she will come around to realizing that surgery was a brilliant pro-active choice to give yourself extra years to enjoy her companionship.

[jeanniereenie 177]

if you have to show her and justify the change in your life for the better, she isnt the one for you!

people will judge and have an opinion all the time..

i have a ton of support from my partner but we did have to have the discussion of it being about ME ..just about me and no one else.

congrats on the changes and making a decision to change your life!!

[SimplyMsE 1]

Thank you guys for confirming what I have long suspected

[ThreeFifty 166]

I guess the question is how is she not being supportive. is she just not being involved or active in what you are doing, like she's not paying attention or participating in conversations etc.....or is she giving you sh@& about it and being actively problematic.

I think that's the difference. a lot of people want to just say if people aren't supportive they are bad for you or jealous or something negative, its not always that simple. they may just not agree and decide to deal with it. or maybe they disagree to a point where they are upset that you did it anyway.

back In the early 2000s I bought a motorcycle. My mother didn't agree or support it and never supported it and tried to get me to sell it every time it came up in conversation. I didn't think nothing bad about that she just disagreed and it was understandable, motorcycles can be dangerous.

For me, no one has to agree or support it...they just have to deal with it HAHA. its done. now if they are being toxic about it, then its time to let them go. but its life. we are all human with our own opinions and beliefs, everyone isn't going to agree and lets be honest...this does seem crazy...we let them cut 80% of our working stomach out. We have to be a little tolerant also when it comes to loved ones actions on this subject...I think

[jeanniereenie 177]

i have gotten more grief and negativity from those closest to me, telling me i have changed and that i am not fun to hang with anymore...yea because im not focusing my life around food which i did...now i eat because i have to and sadly sometimes people are afraid of change in people..because then they see the flaws in themselves

[jeanniereenie 177]

@ i agree, being patient with others is something i have had to do, they dont always understand why i did this....but i dont always explain it either. i think its because even 65 lbs ago i was a happy and fairly active person....nothing has changed just my pants size..and my energy level lol

Edited August 25, 2015 by jeanniereenie

[1ntrov3gan 1]

My partner of 12 yrs left me 3 months after my surgery. No reason other than she needed some space. 3 yrs later and she admitted she left me for another man because she was afraid I'd leave her if I lost weight.

Point is we made a decision to save our lives and shouldn't have to deal with negativity during a time when support and love is needed. In my opinion she, like my ex, never really supported the decision to begin with and rather than talk about it before hand to Iron out any doubts, they chose to pretend to be supportive and accepting. At least that was the case in my life. You just had the surgery and really need to focus on you. Your well being and physical and mental health. Trust me. It's been over 2 years since I had the surgery and it's a long journey that will require you to be focused on you. Good luck :-)

Edited August 25, 2015 by 1ntrov3gan

[violetroyalty 25]

My gf started acting funny when I told her bout the surgery and she even admitted that she was scared afterwards I'll get side lovers or something. We broke up right before surgery I've read many stories, at the end I hope she is supportive with you but if she's not you need to take care of yourself, be healthy for yourself.

[Jessica Ellison-Correa 66]

im so glad i have the support of my hubby and his entire family i could not go through this journey with out them i know its genuine because anytime i need to vent they're always there to listen offer advice or just talk to me it also helps that they are doctors and nurses so they can explain the medical side of it as well