Change in attitude toward you after surgery, am I the only one?

[Anna Montana84 15]

I feel like ever since I got sleeved, my friends have been picking fights with me, and people in general have not been as friendly with me pre-sleeve. Am I the only one? I'm trying not to let it get to me, but it is. It's my body, why should anyone else care? Sigh....

[liannatx 897]

Picking fights with you over what? If it is over your choice to have WLS, just shake it off. That means they are dealing with their own insecurities and issues.

I really haven't noticed this for myself. I feel so much happier and more positive that it must just radiate from me, lol, because I feel like people are friendlier than ever.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Nope, I've not had that experience. Sorry that's happening -- or that you feel like it is.

I hope things turn around.

[AngelaWilliamsMD 290]

That's discouraging, but kudos to you for rising above it. I'm curious as to what you all are fighting about? Sometimes we can all be a little hypersensitive about weight, especially if we've gone to the lengths of bariatric surgery!

[Anna Montana84 15]

I should have elaborated better on the "fight" part. What I mean to say is that they have been super nit picky at everything I do. For instance, I was having a conversation about exercise with one friend, and it turned into her screaming and cursing at me for accidentally talking over her. She had never talked to me like that before, and I was completely blindsided. It's like, "What gives?" We shall see... Hopefully my experience will get better.

[whisper43 45]

Sounds like jealousy..

On the same note 5 years ago I started a diet and lost so much weight so fast. And my "best"friends (one of whom I lived with and the other I have been friends with for 15 years) were absolutely horrible to me.. Even sat me down and told me I was "starting to act like the anti-christ". It only took a couple of months for me to realise that I was acting fine. I was happier than ever! It was them!! They were beginning to become very insecure because suddenly I had the confidence to match my personality. And when we went out people FINALLY spoke to me! I suddenly wasn't the "DUFF"! Needless to say I don't need that shit in my life!

I am not trying to imply your friends are like that.. Just trying to show that not everyone is what they seem... I really hope they pull their socks up and that they don't turn out to be horrible friends! In the mean time. Hold your head high cause you worthy of a much better squad!

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

It's all a matter of whether your friends are 'temporary', 'seasonal' or 'rusted on'.

Some of the time, a big change in a person affects the power dynamic.

Whisper43 is right ... they may have become insecure as you've become more pleasing to the eye.

They might be upset that you've 'accelerated' your confidence.

[Brandeis 401]

I wonder if maybe your attitude toward them has changed, as well? This isn't me putting the blame on you -- please don't take it that way -- but it's possible that post op you've become more confident, more outgoing, or more comfortable speaking up for yourself. These could all have negative effects on the people around you, as they were more used to you going with the flow / taking a back seat...

[Diana_in_Philly 1,426]

Want to relate a funny story. Was at a birthday party for the mother of a friend. A mutual acquaintance was there - she is a good friend of the daughter hosting (I'll call her Karen). I've known Karen casually over the course of the last 20 years. I hadn't seen her in about a year as we only see each other when this mutual friend hosts events. She came up to me and introduced herself. I looked at her and said - Karen - it's Diana - we've spent quite a bit of time together. She was completely flabbergasted, turned around and walked away, I guess not knowing what to say.

FWIW, it made me laugh because I never liked the beeotch anyway. It was good to see her embarrass herself. She was always very thin and very critical of anyone with an extra pound on them - she was sure it was because they were lazy.

I don't have time for that kind of negativity in my life.

[Rainbow_Warrior 996]

18 hours ago, Diana_in_Philly said:

I looked at her and said - Karen - it's Diana - we've spent quite a bit of time together. She was completely flabbergasted, turned around and walked away, I guess not knowing what to say.

FWIW, it made me laugh ...

I don't have time for that kind of negativity in my life.

Good one! Enjoyed it!

[emanomaly 10]

I haven't told anyone about my surgery, so, I don't know that I can say anything on that. But generally everyone has treated me positively. My friends have watched me drop and gain 75 pounds at a time over the years, so they're probably used to it. No one has ever seen me drop 110 pounds though, and at this point the only weirdness I get is occasional concern that I'm getting too skinny.